Tami Tuesdays #4 - Go Do Something!

Alas, this Tuesday I have too many ideas and can't seem to focus on just one. So instead I shall make suggestions, suggestions to help each of you find the joy that's all around you.
1) Put together a music mix of personal theme songs that makes you happy and gets you through the day!
2) Try a flavor of ice cream you have never tried before.
3) Commit a random act of kindness. I did today and it felt great!
4) Do a favor for someone, mow an elderly neighbors lawn or run an errand for a sick friend.
5) Do some Spring cleaning and donate to Goodwill or have a yard sale.
6) Get up in the morning, wash your face, brush your teeth and walk out the door. Something good will happen to you!      


There are a million different ways to find Joy, here are a list of some of the ways I use and paths I take. Try one out for yourself, try your own thing, just keep trying.

Road Rage - A Surefire Quick Joy Buzzkill

So I love to write about driving, probably because I live in LA and spend so much time in my car. In a way it's my second home, and with the traveling between group homes and things throughout each day I get a good amount of time with Drogon. That's what I named my black 2007 Nissan Frontier when I got it a couple of years ago, named after one of Daenerys' dragons on Game of Thrones. Oh yea, total nerd, there's also a POP! Drogon figure on my dash. Anyway, my truck and I are close. I listen to music about 90% of the time, talk on the phone about 5% of the time and just think every damn second. I think that is why I love driving so much, because of the thinking and the traveling. The gentle and steady thrum of the engine and pull of the wheel combined with the passing trees and mountains or cities and hills helps bring my mind to ease like no other. Almost nothing else on Earth can make my mind still like that. The peace that comes then allows me to really think about the things going on in my life that I really need to sort out and go through. On top of that is getting to see everything while I drive. Everything is constantly changing so there is always something new to see, even if just something small and seemingly meaningless. There's the soundtrack too. With my iPhone and Internet radio the possibilities are endless. Of course I stick mostly to my favorite songs and albums and that's it. I'll have to share with you guys sometime my best albums list. Sufficient to say, it's time that you really can make your own. 

We all know how meaningful, valuable and rare Time is. We only get a limited amount with limited interactions. It's up to us to make the most of it and use that time wisely. Not just that but also to make that time, whatever we are doing, Joyful. Driving affects our mood and our mood affects our driving. When we almost get in an accident on the way to work it stays with us and affects us all day, when someone cuts us off on the way home we get angry or bitchy with our loved ones when we get home. It has an effect on us, but that also means that we can change or control it so that the effect is positive. 

What is road rage exactly? Couldn't it be any number of things? Well, yea. Road rage is anything that you do out of an emotional reaction instead of a logical or safe one. Granted there are good emotions, but logic is the prevailer in situations such as this and logic says to do what's safe for you and everyone around. When you react to a situation emotionally - a person, a driver, an accident, a closure, a backup, a fender bender - anything from an unexpected pothole or puddle in the road to a four-car-pile-up, you react without control. Our brains were made with and wired for logic for a reason. Use it. 

I've been working on my anger in general and my shortening fuse, driving being no exception. I can't stand slow drivers, or people who can't make up their mind, or elderly drivers who don't pay attention, on and on the list goes. Driving all throughout the day I give myself plenty of opportunities to influence my day one way or another, meaning I can react to everything on the road emotionally and make myself emotionally volatile and unlike myself when I'm interacting with people or I can put myself in a good mood; I can keep myself in a Joyous mood throughout the day by focusing on the Joy even when I'm driving. When someone makes me angry and I want to honk or flip someone off I just relax into the music, take long deep breaths and think about the important things I have going on for me. Writing, my job, my marriage, my family, my husband. So much and so much more. Beyond how we are impacted, now imagine all of that in reverse as well, not in-leiu of but as well as. We also impact others, when we cut someone off or yell at someone who accidentally made a wrong turn because they are lost, we also set into motion events that affect others. That's important to note as well. Our reactions aren't just those to protect oursleves, but to spread or not to spread our Joy to others. 

We are all in our cars a lot, well most of us. If you aren't then you probably have buses and bus stations or taxis and terminals or whatever it is that makes your life unique and special. You have a chance to set up your day right, to keep it going the right way, to end it the right way even. The Joyful way. It may not be everything, it may not even be a lot, but it's another small step on the way to a life full of Joy. 

Unknowingly To Us, Temptation & Danger Lie Twisted & Camouflaged In Our Path Everyday & Everywhere

Temptation, a word today that doesn't carry nearly as much weight as it once did. In the past society lived according to more strict and streamlined rules. As time has passed and our horizons have broadened so too have our ideas on life and the way it is meant to be lived. Temptation used to be such a vile word, a word used frequently by religions and cults due to its connotations of fear, anger, evil and most of all self-hate and guilt. What used to be called temptation a long time ago has now become self discovery and learning, whether learning in the academic, literal, metaphorical, emotional or self taught category is open to interpretation.

Today temptation has become something different, something less tangible and more ok our subconscious and inner monologue. The dictionary defines temptation in two ways: first off as a desire to do something wrong or unwise and secondly as a course of action that attracts or tempts someone else. Interesting, very interesting. Temptation today means the desire to go against that voice in your head and do something you know you shouldn't be doing. There are of course different and varying degrees of temptation and different degrees of repercussions. Wanting things we don't have is part of growing up these days, to an extent. While I may not be religious, I grew up Southern Baptist and one concept that always interested me was the idea of coveting. Temptation and coveting go hand in hand in a way; you are only tempted by something that you want - something you saw someone else with and you want now all for yourself. That kind of temptation is always bad and dangerous because it threatens you, your Joy, who you are and all that you have. To a certain extent, you will always be you and no matter how hard you try to be someone else you will never succeed. Well, the only thing you will succeed in is alienating and destroying your own identity. 

Temptation is something we have to get used to, something that will haunt and plague our every step and every best laid plan from now until the end of time. It is going to pop up in our way all the time, that constant desire to get to the end just a little bit faster. That underlying want to finish now and enjoy the rewards. The thing is though, the rewards of victory are nothing more than victory itself because the journey is what makes the end worth anything at all. Those easy and simple fixes, those quick improvements we all dream about, are nothing more than patches on holes that need to themselves be looked at first and patched up. 

The real danger of temptation is its ability to destroy your Joy, to make you believe that the pursuit of your Joy you're so desperately following is indeed the correct path. The problem is, it's not. Temptation is a cancer that grows over time, starting only with a seed. It tells you that you aren't good enough the way you are and that you need something else to make you better. Better yet, temptation will tell you that you can do things and make changes to who you are in order to feel better, in order to find your Joy and truly be free and Joyful. It's a lie, a lie that's easy and fun to believe but a lie none the less. Finding your Joy isn't about the easy way out or being someone you aren't. Pursuing your Joy is about following who you are, mistakes and all. Temptation is nothing more than a call for the easy way out, by definition temptation is doing something unwise. It is unwisely following your Joy, being misled and misguided by something that tricks you by promising something bright and shiny when in reality the only shiny parts left behind are your skinned knees and bruised ego. 

Temptation is dangerous because it tells you that what you have isn't enough, that what you have isn't good enough and that you aren't good enough.  While we can all improve on certain things in our lives we have to also remember that we are the people we are and we have to hold on to that identity because it is the source of our true joy. The important second definition of temptation regards that of action. Out in the world today we are not just responsible for our own temptations but for the situations we place others in. If temptation is the desire to do something wrong than when we place someone else in a situation where they have the desire to do something unwise we have not only caused temptation but also put someone else's Pursuit of Joy in danger. Our actions have consequences and reflections, even ones we can't see. Think about a chameleon, who we often think of with awe and envy due to its being able to change color according to its surroundings - a pretty impressive survival mechanism. I recently got to see and study one up close when I went to the zoo here in Los Angeles and it was really amazing. I got to see it roam throughout it's cage and then settle on it's chosen branch. Once settled there his, or her, scale tones slowly began to blend in so that the chameleon itself seemed to disappear amid the background of the cage behind it. The chameleon didn't want to be picked out of the chaos all around it, a great way to survive but not a great way to live if you know what I mean. For us, the more we "blend in" the more we, by our own "action," lead others toward temptation or away from joy. Just a thought.  It really is just like throwing a rock into a pond and watching the waves scatter outward in a never-ending pattern that affects everything around it, including everything in the water underneath. We must keep this in mind when we go out and live our lives, we have to remember that the same temptations we are trying to avoid are the ones we can be throwing those around us right into. We have to watch out for one another, we really are each other's keeper. This isn't a life meant to be lived alone. As people and human beings we need each other, not just mates, but people and friends and family as well. The road to Joy is not a singular one, even for the most recluse of us. The good thing is as I've stated before, with changing times come changing forms of communication and interaction. What does it all have in common though? What is at the base of it all? The pursuit of Joy, the pursuit of the Joy within & the sharing of that Joy with the world all around us! ☀️🌎