What Does It Mean To Embrace Your Own Joy?

https://joyfulpursuitoflife.wordpress.com/2016/11/29/what-does-it-mean-to-embrace-your-own-joy/

Imagination

https://joyfulpursuitoflife.wordpress.com/2016/11/29/imagination/

Being Joyful

https://joyfulpursuitoflife.wordpress.com/2016/11/28/being-joyful/

Every Day Is A New Day, A New Dawn

https://joyfulpursuitoflife.wordpress.com/2016/11/27/a-new-day-a-new-dawn/

Joyful Jenny #7 - Mountains & Mountain Ranges

"When you lose what you love, remember to stay strong. Look out the
window and remember life goes on."

These are some lyrics to a great song called, "Curious" by Emblem3. It
reminds me that no matter what happens, I have to live my life to the
fullest. You only live once. There are times where you lose something so near and dear to your heart and you just feel like there's nothing else to do. You begin to surround yourself with negativity and think that it's the end for you. I have personally thought that at one point. I lost my grandma in 2012 and I will I admit that it still does hurt me. But I say to myself... Would my grandma really want to see me in tears? Would she like to see me hurting? I don't think so. Therefore, I manage to stay strong. I believe that as long as you stay positive and strong, you can overcome these mountains. Mountains aren't smooth. They have rocks in the way and you have to get over them at one point. So just think of life as a mountain. Having a positive and determined mind can help you stay happy. I know that from experience.
There's always going to be something in the way. But you have to get over it. Get passed that rock in your way. It's just a test to see how much you can handle until you make it to the top of that mountain. Show that mountain that you will conquer it. Strong and ready. Find
your joy in these lyrics in your own way. Say them to yourself every once in a while. You don't necessarily have to look at it the way I do or the way I explained it. But find your own. Everyone has their own view to life. Take yours and put it to these lyrics. It has helped me and I am so glad that I found these lyrics. They always help me through the rough times. It helps me find that joy and positivity that
we should all have.

The Most Precious Thing I Own Is My Wedding Ring

So, let's start with a reality check. I never had a boyfriend or significant other in middle or high school. My first relationship, an extremely toxic one that damaged me for a long time, happened when I was 17 with a man who was 24. That was a really bad time in my life. Before that the most exposure I had to romance and love was in the books I read and the movies I watched. I thought life was a Disney movie and those in love acted just as if they were in Romeo & Juliet. I learned a painful lesson in a hard way. I isolated myself from my family and friends and became reliant on the person tearing me down. All of this to say that my view of love was shattered. The only thing I ever dreamed of growing up was getting married, having that man who looks into my eyes and tells me he only wants me. Someone who would want to take care of me, who would want to sweep me off my feet and give me the world. I thought, and still do most of the time, of myself as nothing and all I wanted was that feeling of being loved and having someone else believe I was worth something. Something more than I could see. After that first relationship I never thought I would recover, a lot of very bad and dark things happened and it took me years to come to terms with it. But eventually I did; I still stayed out of relationships though. My next one wasn't until just before I graduated college in Tennessee and lasted only for a few months. After graduation and after I moved to LA I had maybe a handful of short-lived relationships that never went beyond the surface. 

My faith in love began to disappear. In the bright shining lights of Hollywood it was hard to see love anywhere. But, just like that, out of the blue, he appeared. We met online, today something that isn't so unconventional anymore, and hit it off right away. I know from the first night I met him he was the one. I was dating someone at the time, someone I had caught cheating on me more than once, and as I walked my newfound love out that first night I remember turning around the hallway corner and thinking about what I was going to do and say to my boyfriend to make sure I got to see this man again. Maybe it sounds bad, but to go from being treated like crap to being put first is an amazing difference. I never had anyone treat me the way he did. He forced us to move slow and stay friends for a few months before we made a move. And I remember that first move - a night out with our friends, feelings I could no longer hold back, liquor, loud music, a speaker and a kiss. A first kiss. One I will never forget. That started it all. 

It was the first time in my life that I felt truly special, really and truly wanted by someone. For someone like me who spent most of my life believing I wasn't good enough to be loved this was something unfathomable. Something so new it was overwhelming. I was diagnosed with bi-polar when I was 17 and it has been a long and rough journey up and down and all around. It taught me to hate myself for who I was and hate the things I did that I couldn't control. I couldn't, and sometimes still can't, separate me from my disease. I see myself as bi-polar and not me. My husband was the first person to see through that and see me for who I really am. I didn't see myself as worthy of anyone's love and I excepted to spend my life alone, always searching for someone who wasn't there. 

But I did find that person, or rather he found me. Through all the chaos and the mess, when I was least expecting it, he swept me off my feet and carried me away. I still can't believe it's true. It's so fantastical to me. The downside now is living with the bi-polar while I am with the love of my life. The ups and downs don't stop, they never go away. I can be so mean and uncaring without even realizing it. I can be terrible. I hate it, and it makes me hate myself even more. I cant fathom or understand why my husband has faith in me or even still loves me. No matter how I treat him he takes care of me and loves me and goes out of his way to protect me. I would do anything for him, and I do every chance I get. 

Our wedding rings are Tungsten Steel and Meteorite; our love is to infinity and beyond, as is inscribed on the inner side of the band. My wedding band is the most important and invaluable thing I own. It means the world to me, and more. I never thought I would get one, that someone would love me enough to give me one. When I put it on or see it on my finger it reminds me not only of the love that my husband and I share but also that I am worthy of being loved and someone out there thinks so. Yes I know I should believe that myself, and I do to a point, but my disease blinds me to it. This reminder keeps me going when I want to give up. It gives me strength and reminds me of what I have. To everyone out there, single and married, love is out there for you - don't forget. I went through hell and back before it found me, and it was only after I stopped looking. Never give up. Never. This morning my husband left for work before I got up, and after I got up to get ready and went into the kitchen I saw the surprise he had left me. Sitting there on the counter were two notes with a sandwich and chips for my lunch and my coffee ready to be made. I am loved so much and it means the world to me; the best gift in life is realizing someone loves you. Take a moment and show the people you love just how much they mean to you. It will mean the world to them. 

"The Wisdom of Joy From Jerry" #3 - My Grandson Daniel

Do you know what really brings joy to my life? After having 6 kids and 6 grandkids I haven't, until now, had the opportunity nor the time to really be there every step of the way for one of them as they grew up. Retirement has its benefits. Three, and sometimes more, days a week I watch my grandson Daniel. We spend most of the day together, at least half of it alone. He's my little buddy. It's amazing to see the rate of development of the human mind and witness it's exponential experimental growth. It is phenomenal to be able to witness something like that. He is two, going on three here in June. He's been talking for a while now, but to witness him go from sounds to individual words to sentences and where he is now is something they will always amaze me. It is interesting, if you listen closely they speak in thoughts instead of sentences or formed ideas. You can literally listen to them work things out. 

There are times Daniel will just look at me out of the corner of his eyes like a little miniature adult, as if he knows exactly what I'm thinking. Watching him play brings me so much joy, we have a lot of fun together. He loves playing with his new Jet Planes. He will pick them up, lift them high in the air and run around telling everyone that the Jet Planes are coming and to watch their ears. Then he will make his Jet Engine sounds as he maneuvers them all over the house. The greatest learning curve in life is supposed to be somewhere around three or so until about age seven. If he is this amazing now I can't fathom the strides he is about to take, and so quickly at that. I can sit and have a conversation with him now, it's unbelievable; no more babytalk. It is also one of the greatest gifts I never would have thought to ask for. After always being so busy and taken up with work being retired is welcome and freeing. I never thought I would be able to spend that free time with my little guy Daniel. He turns three in less than a month and as my wife retires at the end of the month there will be more people around in the mornings and afternoons. Not that I don't love that as well, but I really do treasure and cherish those moments we had and have between us. It's not often in life you get an opportunity like that, an opportunity to really connect with and help shape someone. It's a two way street as well, as you shape someone else they shape you as well. Having Daniel brings me so much Joy and the opportunity to be there for him gives me more Joy than almost anything else. I thank God everyday for all of my kids and grandkids and my wife; family is everything in the end, when you are there for each other it help lifts everyone up and promotes growth and learning which fosters hope and courage leading to strength. Human beings are amazing and intricate creatures; the fact alone that we are living, that the billions and billions of things necessary for our survival go right at the right time and all together, is reason enough to bring all of us Joy. We are living. Don't ever forget that, it's something that is surprisingly easily forgotten. 

One Step At A Time, Never Thinking Of More Than What Surrounds You

My biggest problems in life have always been depression and anxiety. Even when I was a kid I remember lying in bed at night and praying for the safety and health of me, my family, my friends, my friend's family, friends of my friends and their families too. Over and over I would go through everything in my head like a practiced rhythm, making sure to include every tiny detail and person. I would pray for people I didn't know, for strangers and neighbors. I couldn't stand the thought or worry over someone being hurt, and believe it or not those thoughts were always there no matter what I did. But if I went through my rituals it helped me cope and made things more bearable. I of course have always missed the fact that the problem isn't trying to find rituals to cope but to learn to live without the anxiety to begin with. Taking it day by day has always been a foreign concept to me, therefore so has happiness. I mean, I know what it feels like to be happy, but true happiness I didn't discover until a few short years ago. I still struggle today, but it is much easier than before. Learning how to live both Joyfully and Mindfully have guided me to a life not free of bad things and negativity, but free of needless anxiety and worry over things that are neither under my control nor even necessary to worry about. 

I have ground my teeth bad since I was a young kid, probably starting in high school. By the time I got to college the dentist asked if I had a stressful job because I had ground my k9's completely flat, all of my teeth were and are now completely flat. When I get really stressed I will do it throughout the day without even realizing. That's when the headaches get really bad, although I still get plenty in the mornings from nighttime grinding. The sound, just thinking about it makes me cringe and tremble. I wear a night guard now and it helps most of the time. The point is I really take anxiety to heart and I don't let go. It has really been a challenge for me to let go of the reigns and allow myself to just be. When you think about it though, it is all we truly have. The here and now, what is right in front of us. That is life, our lives. The lives we are supposed to be living. All we have is today because we really have no freaking idea if we will be alive tomorrow. That thought has terrified me since I was a little kid, knowing I could and would eventually die any day of any number of things. That is what makes life precious, that is what makes it mean something. We are only here for a short time and what we do in that time is what matters. Our lives have value because they are mortal. Just like a rose has its value because it will eventually wilt and die and no longer be beautiful. 

We have to think of life like a flower, it's going to end sometime in the future and we have to live every moment to the fullest because we don't know how many of them we are going to get. You never know what you have until it's gone. I wear my mala beads everyday under my shirt to work, to the store, around the house, and they are amazingly calming. There are times where I won't have too long but I will stop for even just a few seconds and recite my mantra moving bead to bead and focusing my intention and thoughts. It makes me feel safe, it makes me feel a little stronger. My mantra helps too. That's the first step. Pick one for yourself if you don't have one, think about it and make it something that is important to you. Something that has meaning. Something that is relatively short and easy to remember and repeat. Make it something that describes who you feel you really are, make it something to give you strength and empower you. I was walking through the multi-level and multi-enclosure Aviary at the LA Zoo the other day when I saw this staircase going down. I was so busy looking over the edge at the birds and small animals that I took each step slowly and carefully and used the railing to help my clumsy self. It reminded me of being mindful and living in the present, literally taking it one step at a time. The path ahead curved downward, how fitting to complete the metaphor for life. You don't know what's coming, no one does. Live today to the fullest while making sure tomorrow is secured. Don't waste time over worry and unnecessary stress, all stress is unnecessary by the way. Things will always get rough, find your mantra and be mindful. Taking it one step, one day, at a time is the best place to start when you want to take control of your life and turn it into one filled with Joy and free of anxiety and stress. 

Staying Grounded Through The Chaos, The Storm, The Calm & The Stressful

I haven't been able to post much the past week and a half or so, it seems like life has just been crazy. With work pretty much completely taking over my life it was hard enough to get things done, it took all my free time to keep my sanity and keep me afloat. It really has been non-stop, all day for over a week. I'm not complaining, I do love my job and I know I can handle it all, it's just that after that long I start to go from tired to exhausted. I hate how I felt after finally getting some time off this afternoon. It felt amazing to just relax in bed, read a book, take a nap and even get up and cook dinner for me and my husband. It felt great to do something for me, to take care of me. It was also nice to have a moment to breathe and look back at everything I had just gone though. To reflect. 

Looking back I wanted to figure out what had gotten me through so well, what had kept me so much more grounded than I thought or expected of myself. Every step of the way, even through the unexpected situations, I kept reminding myself of the things I was Joyful about, the things I had to be Joyful about and the things the helped remind me of who I was. I wore my Mala-bead necklace and even when I couldn't meditate completely I could still touch the wooden beads on my neck and take a second to repeat my mantra for five or six beads and keep myself grounded. Just feeling them under my shirt or playing with them absentmindedly kept reminding me that I had to just stay true to myself and keep myself grounded. I took time to be mindful and live in the present. I slowed myself down at every step, at every point when something crazy happened or came up, I took a second to just look at what was going on around me in that moment and what needed to be dealt with right now. It's quite calming, living in the present, even if you can only do it for a few minutes at a time here and there. It all starts with practice and practice makes perfect. 

Normally I would have overreacted so many times over to so many different things that happened, but I didn't. Being more mindful of being mindful can help though. It sounds dumb, but by spending  so much time reminding myself to be mindful and thinking about how to be more mindful I made myself a little more mindful. It shows that it really does work, but you get out of it what you put into it. If you try, if you really want it, then it will come. All you have to do is open yourself up and be willing to let go and just be. Live in the here and now, both when times are crazy and when times are going smoothly. The other day out in our side garden at home I was watering the plants and something really neat caught my eye. On one of the tree stumps we have there was a rainbow, but a rainbow spot so bright it looked as if it had been painted on. I thought for a second that it had been, until I waved my hand and made it disappear. I couldn't figure out where it came from, but it looked so awesome. It was truly living in the present, at that moment the sun was shining just right and refracting off something to create a rainbow in just this spot. Even something that seems as intangible as a rainbow, or mindfulness, shines so bright it casts it's beautiful shadow of color all over. Never underestimate the power of mindfulness. Don't forget how much it can help you, help you live and help you grow. Never give up and hold on to your Joy everyday, that's what we have in this life. The everyday, and the Joy we can find in it. 

Joyful Jenny #4 - The Light At The End Of The Tunnel

There's a light at the end of the tunnel. But I can't see it yet.
I know once I'll get there...
I will be all set.

I dream and wish and hope... 
That it'll all be fine.
And when it gets hard to cope, 
I'll take that light and shine.

These here are lyrics to a verse that I wrote for a song. I believe that these lyrics can help anyone reach their dreams. We all have a dream. I know that it sometimes feels as if we aren't able to get to them. But trust me, one day you will. Basically, these lyrics say almost the exact wording. Everyone has their own tunnel. Their own little path of life. I have mine and I can honestly say that behind me, it's very dark. But the lights recently just started to dim. I know there's a light at the end of my tunnel. I may not be almost there. But I know that there is one. There's always a bright side to most things. Sometimes, we feel like we can't make it. But like these lyrics say, take that light and shine. Make it your own. It doesn't have to be the light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe it's a small lantern that you found along the way to make things a little easier. Make the best of that light. There are going to be obstacles. We all have to face them at one point. Just know that it will get better. It's getting better for me. So, why can't it for you? Okay. I'm going to be honest. Sometimes, when people tell me to look on the bright side, I can get a little frustrated with them. Some situations really don't have a bright side and some people just don't seem to understand that. But that doesn't mean it's the end of your joy or happiness. It just means you need to move on from that dark abyss you were once in. I know, that there's sometimes no bright side. For example, my grandma who passed away. There was no bright side there. But I managed to move on with my life and not let it get me down. Sure, I still shed a tear every once in a while. But I know that that's not what my grandma wants for me. So I keep it going. But you can always leave that dark part of your tunnel behind you. It's hard, I know. I totally understand from personal experience. But it's not going to make it easier if you keep dwelling over something. Move on and reach that light at the end of your tunnel of life. Don't reach right away though. You still got a long way to go. But find that lantern that will help you along the way. It'll all be fine. I know it. Just have the hope. It'll all be worth it. You will reach whatever it is you are reaching for. Once it's right in front of you, grab that dream and give it all you got. No one can define your future but you. I think that many people can find their light if they just believe in themselves. Also, remember that sometimes there are times where you can reach the light at the end of the tunnel. But once you get there, there's another tunnel. Life is full of good and bad things. There are times where we feel as if we want to give up. But don't. Keep it going for yourself, not others. Remember to always do things because you want to do it and not to just please others. But yes, sometimes it's nice to do things for other people who deserve it. Just remember, get through the tunnel of life and find your light. 

"The Wisdom of Joy From Jerry" #2 - Spring

This is my favorite time of year, springtime. The weather is perfect and it's easy to find Joy because it's all around you. I mean look at springtime; trees getting their leaves and flowering, flowers blooming, dead shoots coming back to life. Everything about this time of year is perfect to me, it feels like a fresh new start; like a breath of fresh air into everything around you. Even putting dozens and dozens of bags of mulch down in the backyard around the bases of the trees isn't a chore because you're outside and interacting with the outdoors. It's even better doing it with someone you love, it makes it even more enjoyable. My wife and I are always working together in the yard and inside on projects and planting things. New starts and new beginnings all the time, life is always changing and there is never a better chance than springtime to witness that.
Another thing I love about Spring is getting ready for camping season. Camping is one of the joys of my life. For as long as I can remember I have loved spending time outdoors and one of the best ways to do that is to go camping. Growing up I would go camping with friends, of course in the Army and always with my family throughout the years. When my kids were growing up we would take an annual vacation every year and drive across the country traveling and exploring. We wanted to expose them to more than just the little bubble around their lives. Spring just tends to bring out that sense of wonderment and adventure. The last time I was at the Grand Canyon was with my son on our way to Los Angeles when we were moving his stuff out there. While we didn't get to camp on that particular trip we spent two days there enjoying the Grand Canyon in Spring. Over a decade earlier, as a family, we had taken three days to hike to the bottom of the canyon and back up again. To spend another Spring moment there with my son was a treasure. There is nothing more majestic than the true beauty and awe of nature. 
Spring is the most joyful time of the year for anyone and everyone, it symbolizes fresh starts and new beginnings. Some say Fall, some Winter and some Summer, but to me it will always be Spring. The temperature may fluctuate a little, but the air is warm, fresh and crisp and you can smell growth everywhere in the air. The magic of nature, the magic of Spring. 

The Joy of Marrying My Best Friend

I would just like to add something on to what Jenny was writing about earlier. She did an amazing job once again, her voice is one in a billion.
It really reminded me of something though, something that applied enough that I thought it would be relevant to share. You see, all of my life I have been looking for love. I've been searching for someone to just accept me for who I am and show me affection and take care of me. I acted desperately at times because I craved, not attention, but love. Why? Because I didn't know how to love myself. I would throw myself at guys and everything would be ruined, on top of that any friendship possible ruined as well. I only really had one other guy friend in college back in Tennessee, of course we ended being really close over like five or six years of friendship. My point being, it was almost impossible the whole time for me to have any kind of relationship. I just couldn't do it no matter how hard I tried. I couldn't figure out myself and no other guy wanted to have to figure me out either. I got really depressed because I felt lonely and like I was going to be alone forever. The one relationship I had at the end of college was so odd and off that I don't know if it even really counts. Another case of me being with someone who should have been my friend, but this time both of us were craving that love and attention we thought we so desperately needed.
Things didn't change until I started to grow up and I moved to Los Angeles. I was about 25 at the time and living in West Hollywood, the center of anything and everything. It was amazing, heaven and hell at the same time. I started dating an Armenian guy that I liked and he moved in; well it turns out in the end that we just clashed culturally. And it clashed with me that he was still involved with his ex-boyfriend/partner. Anyway, the whole point of this is the guy I met while I was with him. I will call him JC. JC rescued me; I remember the night we met like it was yesterday and I will never forget. I remember walking him to the elevator and thinking that I had to see him again no matter what, but what was I going to say to my boyfriend? That first night we were supposed to hook up, but JC decided better - not that we both didn't want to. He told me he wanted to be my friend, my best friend, for right now. He wasn't going anywhere or seeing anyone else at all, but we would just hang out and be friends while I was with my boyfriend.
So we started hanging out like every day, all the times I was left alone. We went out, went walking. We talked and just hung out and did nothing together and had fun doing it. We made taking a walk to the grocery store down the street fun somewhere. That was what we did. It was an amazing thing, building that up. It was months, three I think but I am not so sure, before we finally kissed while up against a speaker out at a club one night with all of our friends. I soon after broke up with my cheating boyfriend but JC still demanded we take it slow. Becoming boyfriends took time and effort, as did eventually moving in. Everything was earned, everything we earned together. As we slowly began to build our relationship it was able to stand the test of things because it had the solid foundation of that friendship that still existed. My longest relationship previously had been probably 8 months or so; well, JC and I became partners and then got married this past year on the four year anniversary of meeting that first night. The anniversary four years previously of meeting my best friend. It means so much more, and it keeps us together more than anything else. Marrying my best friend was like a dream come true, because the only person I wanted to share it with was already there and always would be. Even when things are hard we know that have each other in a way we don't have anyone else.
Our Joy comes from loving and being there for each other, as best friends and as husbands. Your best friend can be platonic or it can become something more, both can bring just as much Joy just like Jenny was talking about. So take a cue from Jenny and enjoy the people around you who are there for you and love and support you. Look there and you will find your joy.
I love you JC, thank you.

Joyful Jenny #2 - My Best Friend Is My Joy!

Everyone has their own meaning to joy. To me, joy comes through music. Whether it's playing it or just listening to it, I can honestly say that it brings a smile to my face. It has helped through the good and bad. Music is always there for me in some kind of special way. But there are other ways that joy can be found. It can be the littlest thing. It could be a locket that you've kept for a long period of time, it could be playing your favorite sport, or just being with someone you love. I personally think that being with someone that makes you smile is a big reason to feel joy. I have always struggled with finding that certain person that cares and loves me just as much as I love and care for them, it always seems to turn on me. But I know I now have my best friend who I can tell everything to. She has shown me that true friends really do exist. Don't get me wrong, I have so many good friends, but there has never been one that has been with me through the things that my best friend has. I know that I can call her for whatever at whatever time. She is actually the one who helped me realize that bottling up all my thoughts and emotions isn't healthy. I'm so thankful and lucky to have met her.

Point being, we all have that special someone that is always going to be there through the laughs and the tears. You may not have found that person yet, but trust me, that person will eventually come around. It took me a while to find someone myself. You want to find someone who will be with you late at night when you're having a hard time and someone who will be there in the afternoon when you're all smiles. I think having that person is a big impact on someone. It brings me joy to know that someone is always going to be there for me. I also kind of think of it in terms of music. See, in music there's always a melody. When you have a melody, you can harmonize it with something different. What you want is someone who will make a perfect harmony and help you make that long lasting song called life. There are going to be people that will only be there for a verse in your life song. Maybe someone that'll be there every once in a while like a chorus throughout the song. But what you want is someone who will be there through the soundtrack, the verses, the chorus, the bridge, the back-up vocals, the guitar riffs, the drum solo, and just throughout the whole song. I never thought someone could make me so happy and actually change me in a good way. But I stand corrected. I promise you that when you find the person, you'll feel a little better about yourself. Sure there are going to be some bumps in the road. But that's what having any kind of relationship is about. Someone who will be there through the ups and the downs.

Life can be tough at times, I know, but just find that person that will be with you through those times. There's nothing better than having someone by your side. Joy can come from anything. Remember that. It might be right under your nose and you never really realize how happy it makes you. But believe me that there's nothing better than being happy, especially with someone. It doesn't have to be your best friend either. It could be a close cousin, your significant other, your grandma, your aunt, your uncle, anyone. Just make sure they are able to bring a smile on your face, joy in your life, and a perfect match to make a harmony so they could be featured in your song of life. 

Lost Looking For Life - Being Purposely Mindful on Purpose

I was recently introduced to the concept of mindfulness, well let me put it this way - I was recently introduced to the label for what I already knew was mindfulness. One of the most recent tattoos I got was the symbol for mindfulness on the inside of my right wrist to always remind me to stay present and aware. That is the only way to live a joyful or happy life, that's really the only way to live life at all. I knew why I wanted another tattoo and the spot that I needed to fill in, but more than that I knew that feeling - that message to myself - that belonged there. I went searching and when I came across the symbol I knew it was perfect for me. Anxiety and stress have both become controlling factors in my life, as if they have taken over and sabotage my attempts at a joyful life. Through practicing mindfulness I can exert some control back over my life and who I am. I can start to learn what Joy is again and learn how to live life the way it is meant to be lived. 

What is mindfulness? What exactly does that word mean? I'm still personally trying to conceptualize and put it into words that can explain what it means to me. The easiest way is to say that mindfulness means paying close attention to present experiences with curiosity, openness and a willingness to live with what already is as it is. It is taking a slow deep breath and taking a look at the world around you that you're interacting with and realIzing you are a part of it all. And you are contributing to it. And taking away from it. You are one small piece of a world you miss out on when you spend your time on your phone or lost in worry and stress over things you can never affect anyhow. To me, being mindful simply means taking the time to let go and live life in the here and now. 

Practicing mindfulness can be useful in our everyday lives because it can be an amazing tool to help us make active changes that need to be made. Meditation, a tool to help develop mindfulness, is a deliberate and sustained practice of noticing what is happening in your reality and where it is happening - thoughts, emotions and physical sensations all noted and observed in order to learn, reflect and seek guidance. The goal here though is to observe rather than to act and change. If being mindful means living in the here and now then meditating is the reflection before the action of living can happen. While one is a way to live the other is a way to learn to silence oneself in order to better be able to live mindfully. Let me give you an example. I am an RN and have worked many years on the floor and at the bedside in the hospital. Part of my job was to assist the MD with delicate bedside procedures. I was always mindful, being aware of what is happening and my emotions. Aware of the physical sensations I feel and attendant to my surroundings. Paying attention to detail, the detail of this moment and only this moment. It makes me safer and it makes the situation safer, it's responsible. Now it wouldn't be responsible to start meditating there at the bedside, it would be disastrous. While meditating I would just simply observe and never act to do or change anything. I need to react there at the bedside and if I don't then the situation becomes dangerous. 

Being mindful is always possible, anywhere at any time. Meditation is a tool we can use at certain times to help open ourselves up and make us better at being mindful. We can learn practices that help us along the way that stay with us for life, practices that help ground us and remind us to be mindful of the time we are living in. An important part of all of this is the aspect of concentration or having an anchor. This is something that holds you to the present moment; it could be your breath, the sensation in your toes, how your clothes feel, or even how your special token feels sitting in your hand. Something physical that brings a sense of calm and peace, that helps serve as a guide toward your meditative place. Focusing on these things as you are trying and starting to meditate help bring you to that calm spot. I use my little stone carved turtle in my hand and the feeling and shape of the smoothly polished stone as I breath in and out. Because it's small I can carry it everywhere with me. Whatever it is for you go for it. Maybe it's how your back feels when you relax back and take deep breaths, find that anchor that is for you. That thing that holds you to your inner self is your biggest help and guide, your best friend. Find that anchor and hold on, keep it there for when you need it - because you will need it. Besides all the amazing mental and physical health benefits, research has found that mindfulness actually changes our brains by increasing the density of gray matter in brain regions linked to learning, memory, emotion regulation and empathy. It can help with anything because it also helps your health and general well being. It makes you a better more well-rounded person. 

Here's my challenge to you: find one routine physical activity that is normal for you, something you do most days, and start an experiment. Try doing it mindfully. Whether it is doing your hair, showering, brushing your teeth, cooking, eating, whatever it is - do it mindfully. That means paying attention to what you are doing - being in the here and now. Do it deliberately and slowly and notice the thought, emotions and sensations that you feel while doing it. Don't be distracted by the TV or radio, conversation or your iPhone, and don't hurry to get it done. Just enjoy doing it, that's life. That's the only life we have. Try it, the more you practice the easier it gets. The task you are working on will always get finished, but when done mindfully it can give so much more meaning and depth to any and every part of life and expand your Joy ten-fold. 

The Joy of The Morning Dew - A Morning's Promise Of A Fresh Start

Life came to exist here on this piece of space rock because a billion different odds came together to make it possible. Nature is a powerful force, a force to be recokoned with. I mean look at what she's done so far; you could extend Mother Nature on into our Universe and even beyond since it too is the world around us, even if we can't see it. Nature always amazes me, it's patterns as well as its force of change. Look at the Grand Canyon, carved over millions of years by the Colorado River from a once flat piece of land. The human body is just as much an example, it is the very reason I got into the healthcare field and eventually became a nurse. The human body and the way it works amazes me. I mean truly amazes me. The billions of different things, pieces, processes, on and on all happening at the same time in sync and in communication. Nature is powerful. We evolved from what was once nothing on this planet and look how complex we are now compared to the first single-celled organism that popped up here on Earth. 

Nature is obviously evident all around us, we have just trained ourselves not to see it - to ignore it. I love how many trees my neighborhood has, I'm lucky. There's also the park down the street. Besides, this is California - there are aloe plants and palm trees literally everywhere. I love going for walks just to be outside and under the trees,walking through the neighborhood. I love growing plants, I'm not always that good at it but I love it. Succulent plants are easy because they just need water and sun but can survive pretty well with even only a little water. I spend hours sometimes just watching them and looking at all the details. Sometimes I think about things and sometimes I just sit and examine the amazing living being in front of me that is also growing and changing. Some of those plants like the succulents are a great example. They, like many others, will grow toward the sunlight so depending on where you put them they will grow a different direction. They crave that light and that nourishment. 

Go for a walk sometime soon, and by soon I mean like today or tomorrow by the latest. Even if it's just for five minutes. I park my truck at work in the 1 hour parking zone so I'm forced to take 3 minutes every hour and take a deep breath and clear my head. Sometimes I take a 6 minute walk around the neighborhood. Nothing long or fancy, just something to get me back outside and connected to nature. Even in the city there are parks and trees. It's like re-charging your batteries in the best way possible. Take a long walk on the weekend. Look up at the open sky and remember why you are joyful and what you have to be joyful about. Be mindful and live here and now in the present. 

There are so many truly beautiful things in nature, everyday types of things. Things that happen because of nature's cycle - like the rain. Yes we have droughts and floods but it is still a water cycle that has developed and helped formed this planet. One beautiful thing about this cycle is the morning dew. The moisture in the cooler air at night falls as condensation when the temperature slowly begins to rise. The water droplets then form and are left on the surface of Earth, well the surfaces that have access to rain. In the morning take a step outside and look at the grass, look at the leaves on the trees or even the metal railings lining the walkways. I love the morning dew because it brings me joy by reminding me that some things do come from the cold harsh night, and it reminds me of freshness. A new start. A new beginning. A new day. I am a water sign and for some reason in an odd way water soothes me like nothing else can. When I see the morning dew I see the Joy I hold closest to my heart, my loving husband and our two dogs, my family and my writing; the potential this day has to propel one of those forward. No matter what happened yesterday. No matter the mistakes or problems or failures. Today take a look at the morning dew, take a moment to center and be mindful. Appreciate life and the things around you, what you have and what you someday will. Be happy in the here and now and take this chance to realize that every morning is a fresh start with a new chance to do whatever you want. You just have to want it. 

Don't Just Keep Swimming, Go For A Swim & Enjoy Doing It

I just freaking love this video! 💦🐢💦 I love turtles so much anyway, to me they are my zodiac symbol. While I don't believe in that I do believe that certain traits are more common at certain times of year, etc. I am a Cancer and I really fit the definition perfectly, while some people are more blended. Either way, to me it's just one way man has attempted to understand the stars' effects on us and how timing in cycles affect outcomes of individual events. Normally a Cancer is a crab, but I feel a turtle is a much better representation  And it works too, it fits all the same properties of the crab that are used for its representation of its people. Turtles are beautiful creatures with intricate and strong shells that are more than just something pretty to look at, it also provides a home and hiding place for the turtle. He can withdrawal whenever he doesn't feel safe. A lot like me. I could go on and on, let's just say I've taken a big liking to turtles now. Something about it in my gut feels right so I go with it. After feeding giant sea turtles you can't get much better, but I just loved watching this little guy go for a swim. I hadn't seen this particular turtle swim like this before and it was cool being right there and getting to watch as he swam right across my view. 

It relaxes me so much to watch them when they glide so effortlessly in the water. They just use smooth, wide, strong arc waves from their front appendages to propel themselves forward. Slowly and steadily the strength of each push combines to move the turtle along quite speedily. 

He made me smile. As you start your day today remind yourself to take it easy. Take a deep breath and slow down a couple times today. Be mindful. Take 15 seconds to pause, breathe deeply and clear your head and focus only on what you are doing right now - that is what mindfulness is. Try it today, use it to help you glide along like this fella. Don't just go through your life, enjoy it. Don't forget about living the life your so busy worrying and stressing away. 

Introducing - Joyful Jenny: A Young Girl's Unique Perspective On Joy

Today we are going to start with Joyful Jenny, a new contributor who will be bringing us her Joy and inspiration every Wednesday. Jenny has an amazingly unique voice and I am so excited to have her here with us. I truly believe and know she will be able to open the eyes of so many of us in ways we never even knew existed.
I was going to write an introduction piece for her but after reading her piece there is no need. Jenny kicks it up in full gear and opens up beautifully. Thank you Jenny for sharing your joy and for giving us another perspective into life and joy we wouldn't otherwise get. 
Help me welcome Joyful Jenny to our little block!

Everyday I wake up and immediately think back on the past. Which is a
good and bad thing. It reminds me how far I've come and I won't stop
here. But see, I'm sixteen now and ever since I was 16 days old, my
life has been one crazy roller coaster. It was tough back then. I have
trouble seeing. But that never stops me. In elementary, people would
just stare at me and give me dirty looks. Even in public. As if I was
some kind of monster. People would call me, "Zombie Eyes." But I never
payed attention to them.
We're all beautiful and unique in our own way. I know that sometimes
it's hard to believe because of all these stereo types. But you don't
have to look like the model in the front page of a magazine. You don't
have to be famous to use your voice. You be you and don't let anything
tear you down. You don't have to change in order to fit society's
expectations. As long as you are yourself, nothing else should matter.
I learned that the hard way. Don't let anyone tell you who you should
be or could be. That's not up to them. It's up to you.
If you want to do something but you think it's impossible... Think
again! You go for it! In the end, you'll end up feeling good just for
trying. Nothing is impossible. Impossible doesn't exist. In the word,
it secretly says, "I'm-possible." Therefore, you shouldn't be afraid of
trying it. Who cares if your friends say it's lame. Who cares if
someone says you won't succeed. So what if it's lame? And are you
really going to let others tell you what you can or can't do? You do
it because you want to. I don't know how else to put it. If it makes
you happy, if it's something you want to do...go for it! No one is
stopping you. Even if others are saying negative things, they're still
not the ones stopping you. It's you because you let them takeover. But
don't.
With that, I want to remind you to stay true to who you are. Leave
with this... We're all different. But beautiful and unique in many
different ways.
I can honestly say that I find joy in that little sentence. It reminds
me that no matter what, I'm me and no one will ever change that. Just
keep an open mind about things. I guarantee you'll find joy in
everything you do and all that you are.

Photo: 9gag.com

Unknowingly To Us, Temptation & Danger Lie Twisted & Camouflaged In Our Path Everyday & Everywhere

Temptation, a word today that doesn't carry nearly as much weight as it once did. In the past society lived according to more strict and streamlined rules. As time has passed and our horizons have broadened so too have our ideas on life and the way it is meant to be lived. Temptation used to be such a vile word, a word used frequently by religions and cults due to its connotations of fear, anger, evil and most of all self-hate and guilt. What used to be called temptation a long time ago has now become self discovery and learning, whether learning in the academic, literal, metaphorical, emotional or self taught category is open to interpretation.

Today temptation has become something different, something less tangible and more ok our subconscious and inner monologue. The dictionary defines temptation in two ways: first off as a desire to do something wrong or unwise and secondly as a course of action that attracts or tempts someone else. Interesting, very interesting. Temptation today means the desire to go against that voice in your head and do something you know you shouldn't be doing. There are of course different and varying degrees of temptation and different degrees of repercussions. Wanting things we don't have is part of growing up these days, to an extent. While I may not be religious, I grew up Southern Baptist and one concept that always interested me was the idea of coveting. Temptation and coveting go hand in hand in a way; you are only tempted by something that you want - something you saw someone else with and you want now all for yourself. That kind of temptation is always bad and dangerous because it threatens you, your Joy, who you are and all that you have. To a certain extent, you will always be you and no matter how hard you try to be someone else you will never succeed. Well, the only thing you will succeed in is alienating and destroying your own identity. 

Temptation is something we have to get used to, something that will haunt and plague our every step and every best laid plan from now until the end of time. It is going to pop up in our way all the time, that constant desire to get to the end just a little bit faster. That underlying want to finish now and enjoy the rewards. The thing is though, the rewards of victory are nothing more than victory itself because the journey is what makes the end worth anything at all. Those easy and simple fixes, those quick improvements we all dream about, are nothing more than patches on holes that need to themselves be looked at first and patched up. 

The real danger of temptation is its ability to destroy your Joy, to make you believe that the pursuit of your Joy you're so desperately following is indeed the correct path. The problem is, it's not. Temptation is a cancer that grows over time, starting only with a seed. It tells you that you aren't good enough the way you are and that you need something else to make you better. Better yet, temptation will tell you that you can do things and make changes to who you are in order to feel better, in order to find your Joy and truly be free and Joyful. It's a lie, a lie that's easy and fun to believe but a lie none the less. Finding your Joy isn't about the easy way out or being someone you aren't. Pursuing your Joy is about following who you are, mistakes and all. Temptation is nothing more than a call for the easy way out, by definition temptation is doing something unwise. It is unwisely following your Joy, being misled and misguided by something that tricks you by promising something bright and shiny when in reality the only shiny parts left behind are your skinned knees and bruised ego. 

Temptation is dangerous because it tells you that what you have isn't enough, that what you have isn't good enough and that you aren't good enough.  While we can all improve on certain things in our lives we have to also remember that we are the people we are and we have to hold on to that identity because it is the source of our true joy. The important second definition of temptation regards that of action. Out in the world today we are not just responsible for our own temptations but for the situations we place others in. If temptation is the desire to do something wrong than when we place someone else in a situation where they have the desire to do something unwise we have not only caused temptation but also put someone else's Pursuit of Joy in danger. Our actions have consequences and reflections, even ones we can't see. Think about a chameleon, who we often think of with awe and envy due to its being able to change color according to its surroundings - a pretty impressive survival mechanism. I recently got to see and study one up close when I went to the zoo here in Los Angeles and it was really amazing. I got to see it roam throughout it's cage and then settle on it's chosen branch. Once settled there his, or her, scale tones slowly began to blend in so that the chameleon itself seemed to disappear amid the background of the cage behind it. The chameleon didn't want to be picked out of the chaos all around it, a great way to survive but not a great way to live if you know what I mean. For us, the more we "blend in" the more we, by our own "action," lead others toward temptation or away from joy. Just a thought.  It really is just like throwing a rock into a pond and watching the waves scatter outward in a never-ending pattern that affects everything around it, including everything in the water underneath. We must keep this in mind when we go out and live our lives, we have to remember that the same temptations we are trying to avoid are the ones we can be throwing those around us right into. We have to watch out for one another, we really are each other's keeper. This isn't a life meant to be lived alone. As people and human beings we need each other, not just mates, but people and friends and family as well. The road to Joy is not a singular one, even for the most recluse of us. The good thing is as I've stated before, with changing times come changing forms of communication and interaction. What does it all have in common though? What is at the base of it all? The pursuit of Joy, the pursuit of the Joy within & the sharing of that Joy with the world all around us! ☀️🌎

Why Do We Keep Animals In Cages? Better Yet, Why Do We Pay To Go To The Zoo To Stand, Stare & Watch?

Happy Monday & welcome to another day, here we go again. Another start to another week, like a never ending cycle. When we look at it like that life is meaningless and bleak; we have to move past that and beyond the monotony that we have gotten so used to seeing. This past weekend my husband and I went to the Los Angeles Zoo, twice actually. We got our Membership to the Zoo passes and they have already paid themselves off; I have to say I am pretty excited. I have always loved the Zoo, ever since I was a little kid. I could watch the animals for hours upon hours. While there is that part of me that hates seeing any living creature in captivity I know that the zoo has a lot of conservation efforts and really does a lot to try to protect these animals. You can see the effort and care throughout the park and it truly makes it a great experience.

It got me wondering though, while we were walking among the cages, why do we do this? Why do we put these animals on display and keep them in these cages that are so small and confined compared to their outside world? Why do we rope off and enclose those foreign and alien to us? Why do we take the things we can't understand or we can't control and put them in a box to study? Why? Because we want to understand. It is the same reason we have become obsessed with Reality TV and Vlogging online, as a culture we have become consumed with understanding. In and of itself this isn't a bad thing, as our means of communication have continued to progress it has propelled us into an unprecedented era of human evolution. Some things have never changed though - like the fact that we want so badly to understand our own place in the world that we look at the environment around us in order to place ourselves in a context we can comprehend. We like going to the zoo because we like being able to see and study those things that we can't directly understand. We see ourselves in those wild eyes and we seek some kind of understanding there. Some kind of hope, not just for them but for us as well. 

Cages are designed by humans, we are the ones who build the contraptions of our own captivity and who trap those unwilling creatures we wish to watch and study and learn from. In the course of protecting the world around us and saving the things we ourselves place in danger we must remember that cages are nothing more than unnatural boundaries between us that serve only to keep us apart and keep from bringing us together. Of course at the zoo we need them to help keep the animals safe and separated, to keep them out of harms way and to keep them healthy. These cages, these limits, these boundaries all serve to protect these beautiful animals and conserve their way of life for generations to see and witness. Yet, look into the eyes of these animals as you watch them and see if you can truly tell what that look is trying to tell you. We are all living species on this planet and we are all a part of something much bigger than ourselves. We share this world with each other, human and animals alike. We go to the zoo to be transported around the globe to the most remote locations and get a glimpse into the most wild and exotic locations. These animals provide us a glimpse into the wild humanity that we have evolved from. We pay to go watch them so that we can get a better understanding of who we are, where we have come from and where we have yet to go. Our friends in the animal kingdom show us the warnings nature throws our way, the subtle roadblocks or speed bumps along the way to slow us down or cause us to take heed. We go to the zoo so that we can immerse ourself in a world we can only see in books and on television. In a world that we know to be true, but that seems to elude us at almost every point. 

Those gates and fences though are dangerous, they are there for a reason in the zoo - so we can safely watch the animals in their enclosures and learn about the different creatures of this planet. We have to learn though how to see through these fences as the nothing that they are. They are no more than man made boundaries and we must learn to make our own fences in life that protect without isolating. There are many times in life that we build fences around ourselves, whether from the outside world or from someone in particular living in it. What we have to learn is that these fences only tend to isolate us and cut us off from the rest of the world. So often, so many times, when we think we are acting in self-defense we are actually acting in fear. Next time you visit the zoo watch the animals living there, like this beautifu orangutan mother and her baby who wouldn't stop looking right at me. In that moment, than instant, that connection - I knew why. I knew what that caged animal was saying to me - "Look, we're not so different you and me. Look, we're just the same."

Crashing & Smashing Into One Another - A Drunken Chaotic Mess

It's funny how often and in how many different ways we crash into each other everyday on so many different levels, from that of the undividual to that of the institution. The small bumps here and there and the shoulder rubs we have on a daily basis aren't exactly what I'm talking about this time. You see, I've never been so lucky when it comes to cars. The car I moved out to LA with was a 2012 Hyundai Accent or something of the like and it drove all the way here from Tennessee. I made it a long way in that little deathtrap of scrap metal. After being here almost five years now though I have a new vehicle to get me around. My sky blue Accent got smashed in and I traded up for something more native to Tennessee, a pick-up truck. A black 4-door Nissan Frontier, 6-Cylinder, extended and finished bed with cable bars installed. Awesome, pure badass. Anyway, I got it because there were just too many times I was hit before by someone else and my tiny little car dented like it had been smashed in with a million sledgehammers. I wanted to feel safe, to drive away from an accident unscathed or hardly touched at all. I wanted to be above everyone else on the road, and I am. I love it, there are still trucks bigger than mine and semis that drive by, but for the most part I'm towering above all those cars weaving in and out of traffic on their cell phones all the while not paying attention to any of the people they just almost killed.
Driving used to be one of my favorite things to do, my parents would drive me around the block in Downtown Chicago when I was a little baby to lull me to sleep. I used to drive from Knoxville, TN to Atlanta, GA just to go out for a drink because I was bored and I knew I would enjoy a nice evening few hours in the car driving through the mountains. Los Angeles is different though, everyone is angry. Everyone; and it starts to rub off on you too. I am thankful that when I drive to and from work everyday on the 405 I am going against traffic. Not too much of a nightmare until I have a detour or surprise hiccup in my day.
My truck got hit twice within the first week of having it, once the first damn night and then the following workweek. Where my husband and I were living at the time we parked the truck on the side of the road in front of the house with the rest of the row of neighborhood cars and trucks. Well the person who parked in front of me, along the sidewalk between driveways, decided to also park underneath me. He had backed up so close to me when parallel parking that he had gone up underneath my bumper and pushed the whole thing up. I was so furious that day, my brand new freaking truck. Still, I was able to drive away from that. The second time my husband was driving and we were slowing down as we approached the house, with our blinker on, to pull into a parking spot alongside the front door. Well some young kid "sneezed" and closed his eyes and ran over the speed bump and rear ended us pretty damn good. My back got messed up some and my husband still has lasting problems from that accident. Yet still, we drove that truck away from that accident too. The boy ended up being underage without a license and without insurance. Fun. Really, fun. Well, yesterday I got off work at a decent hour and thanks to Daylight Savings had enough time to enjoy the sunlight and go for a hike. On our way to Lake Balboa where I wanted to hike we were rear ended by one of the oddest and craziest ladies I have ever seen. She hit us from behind and signaled to us before then continuing on for over two miles. We called the police, but  the woman would not pull over. Finally she weaved into the parking lot of some random restaurant and attempted a conversation. She was drunk and her words were slurred. Her driver side door was smashed in and I think her driver window had been smashed in as well. There was a trail of glass on the sidewalk from where she had opened the door. This was not her first accident today. As soon as I got out and walked to the front of her car I saw a nice dent and line from where she had hit the back bumper of the truck. Her words kept slurring as she made up excuses for taking about fifteen minutes to find her drivers license. She kept ranting about being a doctor somewhere in Los Angeles, and then she would stumble around  her car and fall into one seat or another and mumble on about something else I couldn't understand. I let my husband handle what was left, I sat in the truck and fumed.
Again? Really? Oh well, maybe this just means its is time to fix the front and rear bumpers after all. Can't be that expensive really. I sat there for the next twenty minutes or so before we left fuming and wondering how people could really be so stupid and make such stupid decisions. I am really a lucky man, my husband always does the right thing and always tries to make sure everyone is safe and taken care of no matter what. He is an honorable man. Enough on that, another entry there. It was just like the other times, an accident in a way. I had to move on and just get over it. I could pay my deductible now and get a new bumper. Not a big deal, I didn't really lose too much. My truck is still going very strong and it hardly sticks out after all the other bumps and bruises and scratches and scrapes. We are always going to crash into each other, whether because of our own fault or someone else's it does not matter. The key is to survive and protect those that we love and care about. The best way to do that is to hold on to our Joy and draw strength from it. Once we do that we are able to share that Joy with the people we love and the ones we care enough about to worry whether or not they will make it. To walk away with anger only hurts you because the other person is only going to be mad at you and not at themselves. Even when the other person is a drunken mess who doesn't care about the fact that they themselves are hurt let alone the fact that they hurt you.
We have to be able to walk away from our accidents in life like truck drivers. We have to make sure that we are protected and kept safe. Don't react with those petty quick emotions because those aren't real anyway. They are uncontrolled reactions to a situation or an event. Remember what is important and why it is important. Remember that even though something may have gone differently things aren't necessarily bad. You may have to wear those other jeans instead of your favorite with your sneakers to the event tomorrow, but at least your going with a hot date and you're going to have a blast. It sounds silly and cliche, but look at it like that. When you do you will laugh at yourself and things will coming into focus. Life is always going to be a drunk chaotic mess, the only thing we can do is carry on with Joy in our pick up trucks of strength fueled by our courage and love. Next time some unexpected hiccup happens try not to be too upset with the crazy person thrown your way, instead maybe show them a glimpse of the Joy that they apparently are lacking so much of. Show them the better part of you.