"Fire cannot kill a dragon." A famous line from the series A Song of Ice and Fire by George R.R. Martin, it reminds me of a time that seems so long ago and how far I have come from there. How much stronger I am now. Not that I don't have plenty farther left to go. This next tattoo was going to be a sigil of strength, something to remind me of what I am strong enough to do. Now when I look down at my upper right arm it makes me want to flex my hand because I feel that strength. A symbol can be a very powerful thing, and it can mean very different things to very different people. Again that is the beauty of the individualism of Joy, we each have our own to pursue. My joy includes this three headed dragon, it's a part of me in a way. In a way that may seem hard for someone on the outside to understand. To someone else it may seem like just an obsession with a tv show or a passing craze, but to me it is more. When I was 17-years-old I went through a really really difficult time in my life and faced a lot of things that most people never have to face in a lifetime. After my first ever boyfriend/fiancé broke up with me and pretty much kicked me out I needed a lot of help and support. I sought out solace in the worlds I would find in books. My ex had introduced Game of Thrones to me when we were together because he was a huge fantasy nerd too. I thought they were really cool though, especially this character of Daenerys Targaryen. This young girl on the run with nothing but a family name must build a life from nothing. She is abused by her brother and sold off into marriage in order for him to gain an army. She went to her lowest point before she rose again. Even when her new life seemed perfect, her son on the way and her husband a strong warrior everything goes wrong and she loses it all again. The man she loved and the son she had living inside her. In return though she did gain three living breathing dragons from her three ancient dragon eggs, born from the fires of her sacrifice. Her story is much more detailed and goes on for much longer, but you get the idea. Her character, her voice, her pain all felt so tangible to me. It's like I could feel it in my soul, I identified with so many parts of her and admired so many others. She made me feel a little bit better, and her character inspired in me courage and strength that I really needed at that time in my life.
Reading has always an important aspect of my life. From my mom reading to both my brother and I when we were in the womb to reading to us every day as we grew up until we learned how to read ourselves, we were always surrounded by books. When we were little we would get books on tape and read more than we watched tv. We spent so much time at the library reading, looking for books, getting online, joining book groups and so much more. I loved every second and it benefited me in more ways than I can express. It gave me an appreciation for reading that I still have. When I read a book it's like entering another world and the deeper you go the more attached you get. Becoming emotionally involved in a book is the whole point, why tell a story that doesn't make you think or feel anything? Reading these books I became attached to Daenerys Stormborn Targeryen and she began to mean something much more than just a character in a book. A symbol.
The day I went to get it I remember being angry at another one of my exes, I could feel it flowing through my veins like fire. A fire that burned in my chest too. At this point I was probably 25 or 26 and living in West Hollywood, CA. I walked less than half a block up to Sunset Boukevard to get my tattoo in the shop directly across from the Viper Room and next to Whiskey-A-Go-Go. It was an amazing place and I got out all the hurt and pain. I channeled all my anger and frustration into that little needle and I put that symbol on my arm. It's been over ten years and I feel more connected to her character than ever as it still continues to evolve. She has left a lasting impression on me, for which I thank Mr. Martin. Thank you for giving me the hope I needed to keep going when all I wanted to do was give up. The three-headed-dragon is the sigil of House Targaryen, marking me as a dragon - and a symbol of strength. Strength from within.
No comments:
Post a Comment