The Embodiment of Joy & The Mindfulness of Pets

I think there is a lot that we can learn from animals, but not just animals in general - pets in particular. Animals have lived along & beside us on this planet for millennia, but it is interesting the ones that we have been able to domesticate and to what degree and even then what changed about them over time. I wonder if my Chihuahuas would be different if they lived years and years ago before they would have been domesticated, I am assuming somewhere in South America. We have changed them, for better or worse; we intervened as we so often do and will continue to so long as we have the mentality that everything on this planet is disconnected. I always had a pet growing up, a small family dog. When I was young there was a small black dog I think, I only really have one memory of him - watching The Little Mermaid spread out on the white quilt in front of the television with him nuzzled up next to me. Then there was Nicki who stayed with us for the rest of his life, he was a little mix of Yorkie & some other breeds. He was small, but not tiny small. My brother and I would help take care of him. We had our first big dog Jake when I was in high school, and he just recently passed away at my parent's house in Tennessee. Losing a pet is hard because we become so attached to them. We may cry when our favorite figurine or figure breaks but it stops after a minute or two. Losing a pet is like losing someone in your family, your pain stays forever and hurts like knives of steel. It's because, unlike those figures, that pet loved you back.
You can see it in their eyes, especially when you come home from anywhere. Dogs, up to an extent, forgive their owners for almost anything. Even when you mess up they come around and come back to you because they love you and want to be by your side. If you don't believe me see how protective they get when someone else comes around, even if they aren't loud about it. Or watch when he or she gets scared or nervous in public or in large groups and where they turn to. To you. At one time my therapist wrote me a Rx for an Emotional Support Therapy Dog. She got registered and all, but when it comes down to it she isn't like a blind-assistance dog. For me though, she kind of is. We share the same birthday, a fact we didn't know until about 8 months after rescuing her. How odd is that, the same day in June? Maybe thats what explains the connection between us. She looks at me and she always knows what I'm thinking. She can tell in a moment if I am becoming insecure or upset or unhappy or nervous and she will come next to me and won't leave. We calm each other down and always know when one of us needs the other. It was funny the other day when she got frustrated with me, on the bed she nudged my hand an inch in one direction. I looked at her and she did it again, and again, and again and then my hand hit a pillow. She wanted me to pick the pillow up and cover her up. So as soon as I picked it up she curled back up and I covered her with the pillow as she passed out like a light. I know they do not compare to having a child, but dogs are complex emotional beings who live with you and become a real dynamic and part of your family and your heart. My other chihuahua is still a puppy and so rambunctious it drives us crazy most of the time. She is never still, from the moment she wakes up until the moment she passes out. The only break is either work or unleashing her at the dog park. She is sweet though, and so loving and trusting. She falls asleep curled up right next to me when I am sitting in or on the side of the bed working. It's like she melts into you, sometimes you can't even tell at first. She will even fall asleep with her head resting on my hand. The trust in that moment alone brought me so much Joy it's indescribable. Having a dog like my little Dany though, who knows me just as much as myself and is in tune with my every flaring emotion, is the best thing in the world. When I get anxious she starts trembling for no apparent reason. When I am normal and relaxed she is calm and stable. We keep each other going, we are each others Joy. She is just as much a part of my family as my loving husband.It's also funny to note how pet's have no concept of the future beyond where will they get their next meal and some attention. They also do not live in the past or dwell on memories. They react, they act, they live in the now. They live in this moment because it's what they are thinking of. We could learn a thing or two about that. When you take your dog for a walk in the afternoon and his tongue is hanging out and he looks like he's smiling as he walks all cool like down the street notice him or her and what they are doing. They aren't worrying about the bills, they are looking at the tree next to them and how tall it is. What about those huge flowers over there covering that wall? They look at the sidewalk and the grass, the fenceposts and signposts. They enjoy taking in each part of the walk and savoring it as if each step were through a different universe, each step needing to be enjoyed. Dogs, or most dogs, have mastered the art of mindfulness. If you have a pet, lie down and chill with him or her. Turn on some music or soft tv or whatever you want. Play with each other for a few minutes, even just 5, and see if after that you aren't thinking more mindfully. Like how his fur felt on your hand, or how her tongue felt on your fingertips or how his nose wet the tip of your nose. Enjoy your pet and learn a lesson, a lesson of mindfulness and Joy.

The Joy of Marrying My Best Friend

I would just like to add something on to what Jenny was writing about earlier. She did an amazing job once again, her voice is one in a billion.
It really reminded me of something though, something that applied enough that I thought it would be relevant to share. You see, all of my life I have been looking for love. I've been searching for someone to just accept me for who I am and show me affection and take care of me. I acted desperately at times because I craved, not attention, but love. Why? Because I didn't know how to love myself. I would throw myself at guys and everything would be ruined, on top of that any friendship possible ruined as well. I only really had one other guy friend in college back in Tennessee, of course we ended being really close over like five or six years of friendship. My point being, it was almost impossible the whole time for me to have any kind of relationship. I just couldn't do it no matter how hard I tried. I couldn't figure out myself and no other guy wanted to have to figure me out either. I got really depressed because I felt lonely and like I was going to be alone forever. The one relationship I had at the end of college was so odd and off that I don't know if it even really counts. Another case of me being with someone who should have been my friend, but this time both of us were craving that love and attention we thought we so desperately needed.
Things didn't change until I started to grow up and I moved to Los Angeles. I was about 25 at the time and living in West Hollywood, the center of anything and everything. It was amazing, heaven and hell at the same time. I started dating an Armenian guy that I liked and he moved in; well it turns out in the end that we just clashed culturally. And it clashed with me that he was still involved with his ex-boyfriend/partner. Anyway, the whole point of this is the guy I met while I was with him. I will call him JC. JC rescued me; I remember the night we met like it was yesterday and I will never forget. I remember walking him to the elevator and thinking that I had to see him again no matter what, but what was I going to say to my boyfriend? That first night we were supposed to hook up, but JC decided better - not that we both didn't want to. He told me he wanted to be my friend, my best friend, for right now. He wasn't going anywhere or seeing anyone else at all, but we would just hang out and be friends while I was with my boyfriend.
So we started hanging out like every day, all the times I was left alone. We went out, went walking. We talked and just hung out and did nothing together and had fun doing it. We made taking a walk to the grocery store down the street fun somewhere. That was what we did. It was an amazing thing, building that up. It was months, three I think but I am not so sure, before we finally kissed while up against a speaker out at a club one night with all of our friends. I soon after broke up with my cheating boyfriend but JC still demanded we take it slow. Becoming boyfriends took time and effort, as did eventually moving in. Everything was earned, everything we earned together. As we slowly began to build our relationship it was able to stand the test of things because it had the solid foundation of that friendship that still existed. My longest relationship previously had been probably 8 months or so; well, JC and I became partners and then got married this past year on the four year anniversary of meeting that first night. The anniversary four years previously of meeting my best friend. It means so much more, and it keeps us together more than anything else. Marrying my best friend was like a dream come true, because the only person I wanted to share it with was already there and always would be. Even when things are hard we know that have each other in a way we don't have anyone else.
Our Joy comes from loving and being there for each other, as best friends and as husbands. Your best friend can be platonic or it can become something more, both can bring just as much Joy just like Jenny was talking about. So take a cue from Jenny and enjoy the people around you who are there for you and love and support you. Look there and you will find your joy.
I love you JC, thank you.

Joyful Jenny #2 - My Best Friend Is My Joy!

Everyone has their own meaning to joy. To me, joy comes through music. Whether it's playing it or just listening to it, I can honestly say that it brings a smile to my face. It has helped through the good and bad. Music is always there for me in some kind of special way. But there are other ways that joy can be found. It can be the littlest thing. It could be a locket that you've kept for a long period of time, it could be playing your favorite sport, or just being with someone you love. I personally think that being with someone that makes you smile is a big reason to feel joy. I have always struggled with finding that certain person that cares and loves me just as much as I love and care for them, it always seems to turn on me. But I know I now have my best friend who I can tell everything to. She has shown me that true friends really do exist. Don't get me wrong, I have so many good friends, but there has never been one that has been with me through the things that my best friend has. I know that I can call her for whatever at whatever time. She is actually the one who helped me realize that bottling up all my thoughts and emotions isn't healthy. I'm so thankful and lucky to have met her.

Point being, we all have that special someone that is always going to be there through the laughs and the tears. You may not have found that person yet, but trust me, that person will eventually come around. It took me a while to find someone myself. You want to find someone who will be with you late at night when you're having a hard time and someone who will be there in the afternoon when you're all smiles. I think having that person is a big impact on someone. It brings me joy to know that someone is always going to be there for me. I also kind of think of it in terms of music. See, in music there's always a melody. When you have a melody, you can harmonize it with something different. What you want is someone who will make a perfect harmony and help you make that long lasting song called life. There are going to be people that will only be there for a verse in your life song. Maybe someone that'll be there every once in a while like a chorus throughout the song. But what you want is someone who will be there through the soundtrack, the verses, the chorus, the bridge, the back-up vocals, the guitar riffs, the drum solo, and just throughout the whole song. I never thought someone could make me so happy and actually change me in a good way. But I stand corrected. I promise you that when you find the person, you'll feel a little better about yourself. Sure there are going to be some bumps in the road. But that's what having any kind of relationship is about. Someone who will be there through the ups and the downs.

Life can be tough at times, I know, but just find that person that will be with you through those times. There's nothing better than having someone by your side. Joy can come from anything. Remember that. It might be right under your nose and you never really realize how happy it makes you. But believe me that there's nothing better than being happy, especially with someone. It doesn't have to be your best friend either. It could be a close cousin, your significant other, your grandma, your aunt, your uncle, anyone. Just make sure they are able to bring a smile on your face, joy in your life, and a perfect match to make a harmony so they could be featured in your song of life. 

Tattoo #7 - Targaryen Fire & Blood, Fire Cannot Kill A Dragon⚔🛡🐉🔥🐲🔥

"Fire cannot kill a dragon." A famous line from the series A Song of Ice and Fire by George R.R. Martin, it reminds me of a time that seems so long ago and how far I have come from there. How much stronger I am now. Not that I don't have plenty farther left to go. This next tattoo was going to be a sigil of strength, something to remind me of what I am strong enough to do. Now when I look down at my upper right arm it makes me want to flex my hand because I feel that strength. A symbol can be a very powerful thing, and it can mean very different things to very different people. Again that is the beauty of the individualism of Joy, we each have our own to pursue. My joy includes this three headed dragon, it's a part of me in a way. In a way that may seem hard for someone on the outside to understand. To someone else it may seem like just an obsession with a tv show or a passing craze, but to me it is more. 

When I was 17-years-old I went through a really really difficult time in my life and faced a lot of things that most people never have to face in a lifetime. After my first ever boyfriend/fiancé broke up with me and pretty much kicked me out I needed a lot of help and support. I sought out solace in the worlds I would find in books. My ex had introduced Game of Thrones to me when we were together because he was a huge fantasy nerd too. I thought they were really cool though, especially this character of Daenerys Targaryen. This young girl on the run with nothing but a family name must build a life from nothing. She is abused by her brother and sold off into marriage in order for him to gain an army. She went to her lowest point before she rose again. Even when her new life seemed perfect, her son on the way and her husband a strong warrior everything goes wrong and she loses it all again. The man she loved and the son she had living inside her. In return though she did gain three living breathing dragons from her three ancient dragon eggs, born from the fires of her sacrifice. Her story is much more detailed and goes on for much longer, but you get the idea. Her character, her voice, her pain all felt so tangible to me. It's like I could feel it in my soul, I identified with so many parts of her and admired so many others. She made me feel a little bit better, and her character inspired in me courage and strength that I really needed at that time in my life. 

Reading has always an important aspect of my life. From my mom reading to both my brother and I when we were in the womb to reading to us every day as we grew up until we learned how to read ourselves, we were always surrounded by books. When we were little we would get books on tape and read more than we watched tv. We spent so much time at the library reading, looking for books, getting online, joining book groups and so much more. I loved every second and it benefited me in more ways than I can express. It gave me an appreciation for reading that I still have. When I read a book it's like entering another world and the deeper you go the more attached you get. Becoming emotionally involved in a book is the whole point, why tell a story that doesn't make you think or feel anything? Reading these books I became attached to Daenerys Stormborn Targeryen and she began to mean something much more than just a character in a book. A symbol. 

The day I went to get it I remember being angry at another one of my exes, I could feel it flowing through my veins like fire. A fire that burned in my chest too. At this point I was probably 25 or 26 and living in West Hollywood, CA. I walked less than half a block up to Sunset Boukevard to get my tattoo in the shop directly across from the Viper Room and next to Whiskey-A-Go-Go. It was an amazing place and I got out all the hurt and pain. I channeled all my anger and frustration into that little needle and I put that symbol on my arm. It's been over ten years and I feel more connected to her character than ever as it still continues to evolve. She has left a lasting impression on me, for which I thank Mr. Martin. Thank you for giving me the hope I needed to keep going when all I wanted to do was give up. The three-headed-dragon is the sigil of House Targaryen, marking me as a dragon - and a symbol of strength. Strength from within. 

Rule #3 - Love Connects Us All, And It's A Two-Way Street

Love connects all of us. Love is each of us expressing joy outward towards others, we can't have love without joy and vice-versa. Love is what we all have in common, what connects us all to each other. Think about it like a spider web where each of us stands at a junction of strands in the web. The joy we have burning inside us spreads to others around us as we show them love, with more and more of us all interconnecting it soon becomes a spider-web formation. A spider web we are all caught up in. 

Our goal each day in our lives should be to focus on and live for our own personal joy and then share the joy we find with the people we love and the world around us in order to make it a better place. When each individual lives that way a network can be formed so that we can support each other and help each other through the ups and downs of life. Why else are we here together on this earth other than to help each other get through the things we must suffer through and celebrate the joys that we find in life? That bond between each of us that forms, that outward expression of joy, runs both ways. While it is our individual job to reach out to others, and something we should never give up no matter the response we get, it is also our job to reach back out to those around us who are opening up in turn. How much stronger is a bond between two people when it extends from both sides? Phenomenally so. I saw the new blooms on a tree today, beautiful shoots that were emerging into the warm beautiful sunlight among the deadened branches. I stopped for a moment and just looked, watching the beaches sway slowly in the calm breeze. Each of those flowers, each bud, was something beautiful emerging from the dead branches whose reach extends deep into the ground. All those beautiful flowers may come up on different branches but they are all connected by the lifeblood of the tree itself. The branches may look dead, but they connect those flowers and allow nutrients to flow to and feed them. As you go through life it's important to remember to keep that flame of joy shining bright, and to return an outstretched hand to the neighbors who reach out to you. Love is a two way street, while we can and must express it as human beings and individuals in order for it to gain power and strength it needs additional sources of hope to add kindling to the fire. Seek out that fire in others and help kindle it, ignite the spark the generates a revolution. A revolution of joy. In love. Be strong, have hope, be joyful. 

Find Your Joy & Share It

With the return of Joyful: The Pursuit of Life I have spent a lot of time thinking about what this means to me and what I want to accomplish with it. The invigoration that comes with the renewal of the cause gave me some clarity as to what I wanted to do and the direction to head in to get there. With this blog I want to create a place where I can help other people find and hold on to their own joy in their own lives and learn to live lives filled with joy. I would like it to expand to a community of support and teaching and guidance where anyone can come work on making a better self. This network would exist solely to help people find their own joy and then share it with one another, therefore helping someone else find their own joy and so on and so forth. I want to have tools and things to help build this community and resources for people to use everyday in their day to day lives. The new creed so to say reflects that as well. Here is the first of many small steps into the future. I'm excited as to what it can bring. Never forget, always remind yourself, Find Your Joy & Share It. We can all be butterflies, spreading joy into the world around us through our beauty as individuals. Let yourself be free; you will find that when you do anything is possible and your joy radiates all around casting hope on those around you. 

The Return

After months and months of being on hiatus I have decided to bring my blog "Joyful: The Pursuit of Life" back to life so to speak. I want to reinvigorate it with a strong voice for change to help people truly find the joy in their own lives and connect with others around them through their shared joys as well. I want to turn it into a real engine for change. Of course it must start small, but every great thing does. Maybe this can be my mark, something I leave behind to help others. It has the potential to be an outreach organization, non profit organization, business and any other thing you can think of. And it had the potential to build a community of support and hope so that we can help encourage one another on this journey we call life. I would like to really try and see what I can do with this and where I can take it. Wish me luck, fingers crossed. 😎👍🏻💻☄

Find Your Joy & Share It!!!🌎🌍🌏

Walk With Hope

We all have struggles that are both real and terrifying. Each of us has a different path, but we can always count on roadblocks and hurdles on any path we take. How we deal with those obstacles is what decides who we are to become as a person. This picture popped up on Facebook last night and really touched me. The joy the little boy has on his face is contagious. If he can look at his situation and be happy and proud there's no reason we as adults can't do the same. Yes it may be hard, but do you think it was easy for this little man? Who do you admire or look up to for the way they deal with problems, stress and roadblocks?