Tattoo #7 - Targaryen Fire & Blood, Fire Cannot Kill A Dragon⚔🛡🐉🔥🐲🔥

"Fire cannot kill a dragon." A famous line from the series A Song of Ice and Fire by George R.R. Martin, it reminds me of a time that seems so long ago and how far I have come from there. How much stronger I am now. Not that I don't have plenty farther left to go. This next tattoo was going to be a sigil of strength, something to remind me of what I am strong enough to do. Now when I look down at my upper right arm it makes me want to flex my hand because I feel that strength. A symbol can be a very powerful thing, and it can mean very different things to very different people. Again that is the beauty of the individualism of Joy, we each have our own to pursue. My joy includes this three headed dragon, it's a part of me in a way. In a way that may seem hard for someone on the outside to understand. To someone else it may seem like just an obsession with a tv show or a passing craze, but to me it is more. 

When I was 17-years-old I went through a really really difficult time in my life and faced a lot of things that most people never have to face in a lifetime. After my first ever boyfriend/fiancé broke up with me and pretty much kicked me out I needed a lot of help and support. I sought out solace in the worlds I would find in books. My ex had introduced Game of Thrones to me when we were together because he was a huge fantasy nerd too. I thought they were really cool though, especially this character of Daenerys Targaryen. This young girl on the run with nothing but a family name must build a life from nothing. She is abused by her brother and sold off into marriage in order for him to gain an army. She went to her lowest point before she rose again. Even when her new life seemed perfect, her son on the way and her husband a strong warrior everything goes wrong and she loses it all again. The man she loved and the son she had living inside her. In return though she did gain three living breathing dragons from her three ancient dragon eggs, born from the fires of her sacrifice. Her story is much more detailed and goes on for much longer, but you get the idea. Her character, her voice, her pain all felt so tangible to me. It's like I could feel it in my soul, I identified with so many parts of her and admired so many others. She made me feel a little bit better, and her character inspired in me courage and strength that I really needed at that time in my life. 

Reading has always an important aspect of my life. From my mom reading to both my brother and I when we were in the womb to reading to us every day as we grew up until we learned how to read ourselves, we were always surrounded by books. When we were little we would get books on tape and read more than we watched tv. We spent so much time at the library reading, looking for books, getting online, joining book groups and so much more. I loved every second and it benefited me in more ways than I can express. It gave me an appreciation for reading that I still have. When I read a book it's like entering another world and the deeper you go the more attached you get. Becoming emotionally involved in a book is the whole point, why tell a story that doesn't make you think or feel anything? Reading these books I became attached to Daenerys Stormborn Targeryen and she began to mean something much more than just a character in a book. A symbol. 

The day I went to get it I remember being angry at another one of my exes, I could feel it flowing through my veins like fire. A fire that burned in my chest too. At this point I was probably 25 or 26 and living in West Hollywood, CA. I walked less than half a block up to Sunset Boukevard to get my tattoo in the shop directly across from the Viper Room and next to Whiskey-A-Go-Go. It was an amazing place and I got out all the hurt and pain. I channeled all my anger and frustration into that little needle and I put that symbol on my arm. It's been over ten years and I feel more connected to her character than ever as it still continues to evolve. She has left a lasting impression on me, for which I thank Mr. Martin. Thank you for giving me the hope I needed to keep going when all I wanted to do was give up. The three-headed-dragon is the sigil of House Targaryen, marking me as a dragon - and a symbol of strength. Strength from within. 

Anger Not Only Destroys You, But The World Around You

Anger is something we all must deal with, a toxic disease that spreads like wildfire. Something that a lot of times isn't even under our control once it gets started. Frustration is a way of life, nothing is ever going to go exactly how we planned. We must learn to be fluid and flexible and adaptable or we will only suffer under the stress and weight of anger and guilt. When we hold anger in we only destroy ourselves, and when we express anger in the wrong way we hurt all of those around us. The hard part comes when we can't even tell what we are doing. Anger is irrational, you're making yourself upset over something you can't change now whatever it is. All you can do is learn to adapt. You have no control over your surroundings, and there are going to be so many times that those surroundings provoke a negative response from you. My problem comes because I carry my anger inside and don't let it out or talk to anyone about it and then it just boils over in one big mess. By that time I have no control over what I am saying or doing, my thoughts race and rational thinking is out the window. Once that starts it becomes very hard to catch myself because how can you catch yourself when you can't even think right? The trick is catching those thoughts when they first pop up and dealing with them then, or taking the time to deal with them before they become something unmanageable and you get even more upset. 

There are so many outlets out there. I love to write, it's a way I let go of all the stress and anger inside. Sometimes though that isn't enough. I need something to release before it explodes. I've found one good thing is walking or hiking. Use some energy and get outside. Clear your mind and release some endorphins. Go by yourself and reflect and meditate or go with a friend or partner. The key is to get it out. Express how you feel in a way you can control, that way your emotions will never control you. For me, when the anger really gets going the only thing that makes it better is getting a tattoo. I always get things that have obvious importance to me, but something about the pain of the needle and the release is intoxicating. After my two tattoos last night I felt like a weight was off my chest and shoulders. I was walking down Sunset Boulevard on air and this morning when I woke up I wasn't angry or frustrated at all. I haven't been in a bad mood all day because I don't have those pent up feelings anymore. I decided to get the Cancer constellation, the stars in the sky when I was born, and the symbol for mindfulness on my wrist. I found the mindfulness symbol just yesterday but it is so perfect. I've wasted most of my life, I never live in the present because I am constantly worried or stressed about what has or what will happen. I needed something to remind me to stay in the here and now. So I put it right under the word Joy because I thought true Joy can only come with mindfulness. I used the pain to help channel all the anger and frustration I've been feeling lately. I must say that I feel so much better now, and that mindfulness symbol has really had an impact on my thinking. 

Here's what the symbol means:

"This symbol is presented like a physical representation of present moment.

Vertical forms represent time – past and future. Horizontal forms represent space – 360 degrees. And the one is always in the center – being here and now – perfect equanimity.

Secondly, you can see a symbol of a water drop. This is the most often used metaphor to represent the idea of mindfulness. Only this water drop symbol is presented in a kind of mirrored way. But do not think about it, because as mentioned above, this is time – past and future, both are illusions, stay centered in the present."

http://www.radicalcourse.com/here-and-now-symbol-present-moment-awareness/

How perfect and how amazing. I knew it was the right choice. The whole time I was sitting there I was channeling all my negative thoughts and feelings through that tiny needle. While you may not like pain or be able to tolerate needles, look for and find something that speaks to you. Get those negative thoughts out before they poison you. Talk to someone, talk to your dog, talk to youself. Find a way to remind yourself to be mindful and present in the here and now because one thing is for sure, with bottled up anger there is no room for joy and no chance of healing.