It really reminded me of something though, something that applied enough that I thought it would be relevant to share. You see, all of my life I have been looking for love. I've been searching for someone to just accept me for who I am and show me affection and take care of me. I acted desperately at times because I craved, not attention, but love. Why? Because I didn't know how to love myself. I would throw myself at guys and everything would be ruined, on top of that any friendship possible ruined as well. I only really had one other guy friend in college back in Tennessee, of course we ended being really close over like five or six years of friendship. My point being, it was almost impossible the whole time for me to have any kind of relationship. I just couldn't do it no matter how hard I tried. I couldn't figure out myself and no other guy wanted to have to figure me out either. I got really depressed because I felt lonely and like I was going to be alone forever. The one relationship I had at the end of college was so odd and off that I don't know if it even really counts. Another case of me being with someone who should have been my friend, but this time both of us were craving that love and attention we thought we so desperately needed.
Things didn't change until I started to grow up and I moved to Los Angeles. I was about 25 at the time and living in West Hollywood, the center of anything and everything. It was amazing, heaven and hell at the same time. I started dating an Armenian guy that I liked and he moved in; well it turns out in the end that we just clashed culturally. And it clashed with me that he was still involved with his ex-boyfriend/partner. Anyway, the whole point of this is the guy I met while I was with him. I will call him JC. JC rescued me; I remember the night we met like it was yesterday and I will never forget. I remember walking him to the elevator and thinking that I had to see him again no matter what, but what was I going to say to my boyfriend? That first night we were supposed to hook up, but JC decided better - not that we both didn't want to. He told me he wanted to be my friend, my best friend, for right now. He wasn't going anywhere or seeing anyone else at all, but we would just hang out and be friends while I was with my boyfriend.
So we started hanging out like every day, all the times I was left alone. We went out, went walking. We talked and just hung out and did nothing together and had fun doing it. We made taking a walk to the grocery store down the street fun somewhere. That was what we did. It was an amazing thing, building that up. It was months, three I think but I am not so sure, before we finally kissed while up against a speaker out at a club one night with all of our friends. I soon after broke up with my cheating boyfriend but JC still demanded we take it slow. Becoming boyfriends took time and effort, as did eventually moving in. Everything was earned, everything we earned together. As we slowly began to build our relationship it was able to stand the test of things because it had the solid foundation of that friendship that still existed. My longest relationship previously had been probably 8 months or so; well, JC and I became partners and then got married this past year on the four year anniversary of meeting that first night. The anniversary four years previously of meeting my best friend. It means so much more, and it keeps us together more than anything else. Marrying my best friend was like a dream come true, because the only person I wanted to share it with was already there and always would be. Even when things are hard we know that have each other in a way we don't have anyone else.
Our Joy comes from loving and being there for each other, as best friends and as husbands. Your best friend can be platonic or it can become something more, both can bring just as much Joy just like Jenny was talking about. So take a cue from Jenny and enjoy the people around you who are there for you and love and support you. Look there and you will find your joy.
I love you JC, thank you.
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