Tami Tuesdays #6 - Decompression

Decompression! After a stressful day, I can't think of anything better to do than get home and relax. A relaxing shower, a nice dinner and perhaps a glass of wine or two. Now is also the time to start thinking about summer trips. I believe that another way to decompress is to start planning a vacation. You don't have to go anywhere either, my favorite Staycation was doing some Urban Camping in the back yard. Just having the thought is something to look forward to and it is very relaxing knowing you have something planned for yourself coming up! As for me, I am planning to go to visit my grandson very soon and I can't wait. I hope everyone is planning a wonderful time this summer! 

-Tami

Tami is right, having something to look forward to can be an amazing inspiration and motivation through tough times. I have come to find that most of the time I need something to look forward to or plan for in my head to help deal and make it through the day. Sometimes it's planning a trip and sometimes it's planning which shows or movies to watch that night with whatever we decide to make for dinner. The point isn't to focus on the future and forget about the present, but to live mindfully with the reminder in the back of your head that you can push on through whatever is happening because at the very least you have something awesome on the horizon. It is funny that today of all days Tami felt inspired by planning a trip because I just yesterday bought round-trip plane tickets for my husband and I to fly to Tennessee in June for my birthday where I will be able to actually see and hang out with her! I can't wait! 

Staying Grounded Through The Chaos, The Storm, The Calm & The Stressful

I haven't been able to post much the past week and a half or so, it seems like life has just been crazy. With work pretty much completely taking over my life it was hard enough to get things done, it took all my free time to keep my sanity and keep me afloat. It really has been non-stop, all day for over a week. I'm not complaining, I do love my job and I know I can handle it all, it's just that after that long I start to go from tired to exhausted. I hate how I felt after finally getting some time off this afternoon. It felt amazing to just relax in bed, read a book, take a nap and even get up and cook dinner for me and my husband. It felt great to do something for me, to take care of me. It was also nice to have a moment to breathe and look back at everything I had just gone though. To reflect. 

Looking back I wanted to figure out what had gotten me through so well, what had kept me so much more grounded than I thought or expected of myself. Every step of the way, even through the unexpected situations, I kept reminding myself of the things I was Joyful about, the things I had to be Joyful about and the things the helped remind me of who I was. I wore my Mala-bead necklace and even when I couldn't meditate completely I could still touch the wooden beads on my neck and take a second to repeat my mantra for five or six beads and keep myself grounded. Just feeling them under my shirt or playing with them absentmindedly kept reminding me that I had to just stay true to myself and keep myself grounded. I took time to be mindful and live in the present. I slowed myself down at every step, at every point when something crazy happened or came up, I took a second to just look at what was going on around me in that moment and what needed to be dealt with right now. It's quite calming, living in the present, even if you can only do it for a few minutes at a time here and there. It all starts with practice and practice makes perfect. 

Normally I would have overreacted so many times over to so many different things that happened, but I didn't. Being more mindful of being mindful can help though. It sounds dumb, but by spending  so much time reminding myself to be mindful and thinking about how to be more mindful I made myself a little more mindful. It shows that it really does work, but you get out of it what you put into it. If you try, if you really want it, then it will come. All you have to do is open yourself up and be willing to let go and just be. Live in the here and now, both when times are crazy and when times are going smoothly. The other day out in our side garden at home I was watering the plants and something really neat caught my eye. On one of the tree stumps we have there was a rainbow, but a rainbow spot so bright it looked as if it had been painted on. I thought for a second that it had been, until I waved my hand and made it disappear. I couldn't figure out where it came from, but it looked so awesome. It was truly living in the present, at that moment the sun was shining just right and refracting off something to create a rainbow in just this spot. Even something that seems as intangible as a rainbow, or mindfulness, shines so bright it casts it's beautiful shadow of color all over. Never underestimate the power of mindfulness. Don't forget how much it can help you, help you live and help you grow. Never give up and hold on to your Joy everyday, that's what we have in this life. The everyday, and the Joy we can find in it. 

Joyful Jenny #4 - The Light At The End Of The Tunnel

There's a light at the end of the tunnel. But I can't see it yet.
I know once I'll get there...
I will be all set.

I dream and wish and hope... 
That it'll all be fine.
And when it gets hard to cope, 
I'll take that light and shine.

These here are lyrics to a verse that I wrote for a song. I believe that these lyrics can help anyone reach their dreams. We all have a dream. I know that it sometimes feels as if we aren't able to get to them. But trust me, one day you will. Basically, these lyrics say almost the exact wording. Everyone has their own tunnel. Their own little path of life. I have mine and I can honestly say that behind me, it's very dark. But the lights recently just started to dim. I know there's a light at the end of my tunnel. I may not be almost there. But I know that there is one. There's always a bright side to most things. Sometimes, we feel like we can't make it. But like these lyrics say, take that light and shine. Make it your own. It doesn't have to be the light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe it's a small lantern that you found along the way to make things a little easier. Make the best of that light. There are going to be obstacles. We all have to face them at one point. Just know that it will get better. It's getting better for me. So, why can't it for you? Okay. I'm going to be honest. Sometimes, when people tell me to look on the bright side, I can get a little frustrated with them. Some situations really don't have a bright side and some people just don't seem to understand that. But that doesn't mean it's the end of your joy or happiness. It just means you need to move on from that dark abyss you were once in. I know, that there's sometimes no bright side. For example, my grandma who passed away. There was no bright side there. But I managed to move on with my life and not let it get me down. Sure, I still shed a tear every once in a while. But I know that that's not what my grandma wants for me. So I keep it going. But you can always leave that dark part of your tunnel behind you. It's hard, I know. I totally understand from personal experience. But it's not going to make it easier if you keep dwelling over something. Move on and reach that light at the end of your tunnel of life. Don't reach right away though. You still got a long way to go. But find that lantern that will help you along the way. It'll all be fine. I know it. Just have the hope. It'll all be worth it. You will reach whatever it is you are reaching for. Once it's right in front of you, grab that dream and give it all you got. No one can define your future but you. I think that many people can find their light if they just believe in themselves. Also, remember that sometimes there are times where you can reach the light at the end of the tunnel. But once you get there, there's another tunnel. Life is full of good and bad things. There are times where we feel as if we want to give up. But don't. Keep it going for yourself, not others. Remember to always do things because you want to do it and not to just please others. But yes, sometimes it's nice to do things for other people who deserve it. Just remember, get through the tunnel of life and find your light. 

Tami Tuesday #3 - Spring Gardening!

Finally Spring! Today was a perfect Spring day. A sunny, light breeze and gardening! I only planted tomatoes this year -  Early Girl, Big Boy, Beefsteaks and Brandywine's! - but Spring would not be complete without flowers. I have a giant iron pot hanging in the front yard, it looks like a caldron, but it's so pretty with the wave petunias. They cascade down and are a burst of  bright pink and purple color! I hope everyone visits their local nurseries and produce stands this year.

-Tami

Tami is dead on when it comes to gardening. There is nothing more therapeutic than growing something yourself. Whether a small aloe plant, a beautiful orchid or tomato plants - the Joy that comes with helping to cultivate life is amazing. Our side yard at home is filled with pots of flowers or plants and there are things planted everywhere. At times I will just sit outside for like an hour staring, literally watching them grow. Even from day to day there are small differences as the plants continue to grow. You can see them when you get close enough. I get lost in the life and the growth all around me. It can be inside or outside, there are potted plants you can put inside or outside. Next to the bed or outside the front door. Pick up a small plant next time you're out. An aloe plant takes water and sun and is the easiest thing to grow. Find something to bring some more life into your life. Life cultivates life and growth cultivates growth. It feels good to grow something, just as it feels good when we grow as people. So give it a shot and try out your Green Thumb as Tami suggested and see what happens! Happy Spring!

-Jeremy

Tami Tuesdays #2 - April 12, 2016

"The Magic of Rainy Days"  

A lot of people don't like rainy days but I am not one of them. Granted, the love of rainy days is an acquired taste. Here is my list of rainy day favorite activities.

1)Tomato soup,grilled cheese and a black and white creature feature like Creature from the Black Lagoon! It's a love story you know! 

2) Getting lost for hours in Barnes and Noble with a Starbucks Caramel Apple Spice!! 

3) Sitting on the porch reading a great ghost story listening to Mother Earth at her best. 

4) Being rained in at lunch with a few of your best friends.

And......

5) Napping! One of my most decadent indulgences. These are some of the things that make me happy on rainy days.I hope the next time you have some rain in your day you will also enjoy some of MY favorite things.

Tattoo #7 - Targaryen Fire & Blood, Fire Cannot Kill A Dragon⚔🛡🐉🔥🐲🔥

"Fire cannot kill a dragon." A famous line from the series A Song of Ice and Fire by George R.R. Martin, it reminds me of a time that seems so long ago and how far I have come from there. How much stronger I am now. Not that I don't have plenty farther left to go. This next tattoo was going to be a sigil of strength, something to remind me of what I am strong enough to do. Now when I look down at my upper right arm it makes me want to flex my hand because I feel that strength. A symbol can be a very powerful thing, and it can mean very different things to very different people. Again that is the beauty of the individualism of Joy, we each have our own to pursue. My joy includes this three headed dragon, it's a part of me in a way. In a way that may seem hard for someone on the outside to understand. To someone else it may seem like just an obsession with a tv show or a passing craze, but to me it is more. 

When I was 17-years-old I went through a really really difficult time in my life and faced a lot of things that most people never have to face in a lifetime. After my first ever boyfriend/fiancé broke up with me and pretty much kicked me out I needed a lot of help and support. I sought out solace in the worlds I would find in books. My ex had introduced Game of Thrones to me when we were together because he was a huge fantasy nerd too. I thought they were really cool though, especially this character of Daenerys Targaryen. This young girl on the run with nothing but a family name must build a life from nothing. She is abused by her brother and sold off into marriage in order for him to gain an army. She went to her lowest point before she rose again. Even when her new life seemed perfect, her son on the way and her husband a strong warrior everything goes wrong and she loses it all again. The man she loved and the son she had living inside her. In return though she did gain three living breathing dragons from her three ancient dragon eggs, born from the fires of her sacrifice. Her story is much more detailed and goes on for much longer, but you get the idea. Her character, her voice, her pain all felt so tangible to me. It's like I could feel it in my soul, I identified with so many parts of her and admired so many others. She made me feel a little bit better, and her character inspired in me courage and strength that I really needed at that time in my life. 

Reading has always an important aspect of my life. From my mom reading to both my brother and I when we were in the womb to reading to us every day as we grew up until we learned how to read ourselves, we were always surrounded by books. When we were little we would get books on tape and read more than we watched tv. We spent so much time at the library reading, looking for books, getting online, joining book groups and so much more. I loved every second and it benefited me in more ways than I can express. It gave me an appreciation for reading that I still have. When I read a book it's like entering another world and the deeper you go the more attached you get. Becoming emotionally involved in a book is the whole point, why tell a story that doesn't make you think or feel anything? Reading these books I became attached to Daenerys Stormborn Targeryen and she began to mean something much more than just a character in a book. A symbol. 

The day I went to get it I remember being angry at another one of my exes, I could feel it flowing through my veins like fire. A fire that burned in my chest too. At this point I was probably 25 or 26 and living in West Hollywood, CA. I walked less than half a block up to Sunset Boukevard to get my tattoo in the shop directly across from the Viper Room and next to Whiskey-A-Go-Go. It was an amazing place and I got out all the hurt and pain. I channeled all my anger and frustration into that little needle and I put that symbol on my arm. It's been over ten years and I feel more connected to her character than ever as it still continues to evolve. She has left a lasting impression on me, for which I thank Mr. Martin. Thank you for giving me the hope I needed to keep going when all I wanted to do was give up. The three-headed-dragon is the sigil of House Targaryen, marking me as a dragon - and a symbol of strength. Strength from within. 

Don't Just Keep Swimming, Go For A Swim & Enjoy Doing It

I just freaking love this video! 💦🐢💦 I love turtles so much anyway, to me they are my zodiac symbol. While I don't believe in that I do believe that certain traits are more common at certain times of year, etc. I am a Cancer and I really fit the definition perfectly, while some people are more blended. Either way, to me it's just one way man has attempted to understand the stars' effects on us and how timing in cycles affect outcomes of individual events. Normally a Cancer is a crab, but I feel a turtle is a much better representation  And it works too, it fits all the same properties of the crab that are used for its representation of its people. Turtles are beautiful creatures with intricate and strong shells that are more than just something pretty to look at, it also provides a home and hiding place for the turtle. He can withdrawal whenever he doesn't feel safe. A lot like me. I could go on and on, let's just say I've taken a big liking to turtles now. Something about it in my gut feels right so I go with it. After feeding giant sea turtles you can't get much better, but I just loved watching this little guy go for a swim. I hadn't seen this particular turtle swim like this before and it was cool being right there and getting to watch as he swam right across my view. 

It relaxes me so much to watch them when they glide so effortlessly in the water. They just use smooth, wide, strong arc waves from their front appendages to propel themselves forward. Slowly and steadily the strength of each push combines to move the turtle along quite speedily. 

He made me smile. As you start your day today remind yourself to take it easy. Take a deep breath and slow down a couple times today. Be mindful. Take 15 seconds to pause, breathe deeply and clear your head and focus only on what you are doing right now - that is what mindfulness is. Try it today, use it to help you glide along like this fella. Don't just go through your life, enjoy it. Don't forget about living the life your so busy worrying and stressing away. 

Introducing "The Wisdom of Joy From Jerry" - Who You Are

What do we do?  We Find Our Joy & Share It! Find and seek out those around us who have Joy and more Joy to share. It only makes sense to find people with an abundance of Joy built up and befriend them. Gain from their knowledge. What's crazy is that so many of these people are all around us and we don't even see. Our family, friends, neighbors, co-workers and so many more. Take advantage of this, and of the people you come across in your day to day life. Be more patient and slow down, observe the world around you and interact with the people in it. There are all different kinds of us, with our own personal paths to Joy. This next voice has seen a lot, from being an elected civil servant to being an active duty military officer overseas; his Joy has come from many places and evolved over all this time. It still continues to evolve. He retired from the telecommunications industry with a history being an electrician, fireman and an engineer and having worked both in the public and private sectors, including working for the government. A new and unique perspective I can't wait to hear. The reason I go on and on is because this voice is actually really very special to me, the voice of a man that I love and respect very much. One I have heard my whole life, the voice of my father.

🌲🌳🌿🍃🌲🌳🌿🍃🌲🌳🌿🍃🌲🌳🌿🍃🌲🌳🌿🍃🌲🌳🌿🍃🌲🌳🌿🍃

Joy. What gives you Joy in life changes over time. It's not the same now as it was before or it will be someday. You evolve, your outlook evolves, and as a person you grow. You have to be careful as well; you can think something brings you Joy one minute and quickly find out it doesn't. Life is full of ups and downs, there are disappointments all the time. There is really only one way to survive - perspective. As you grow older you begin to overcome the ups and downs easier and easier. There is a lot of bad, it doesn't always go the way you want or the way you plan. The important thing is how you handle it, how you take it and your faith throughout it.
We go through life working, raising a family, and living a life. Along with that we all want nice things like new cars or phones and all kinds of other earthly things. We get happiness and Joy from different things as we age, and with those different things come different levels of fulfillment and tangible, usable, Joy. As a young man and growing up I got Joy from the success of getting and accomplishing the things I wanted for my family. Now, being finally retired, I get the gift of spending three to four days a week watching my grandson. I get to watch him play and grow up and laugh and learn, things I didn't get to always see before as I worked. This time that I have now really is a gift, and my grandson brings me so much Joy. I love the time that we have together, it's invaluable. 
Just remember this, who you are is what you do with everything that comes at you in life - the good and the bad.

Be Courageous, Be Curious, Be Inspired

I know I've already told you I am just amazed by these otters, how they play and how they interact with each other and the world around them. They interact purposefully with the zoo visitors watching them and they interact with the other zoo animals that come into their world. Attached to their water tank is a gigantic piranha take that runs along one of the far walls from ground to ceiling. The otters love to swim along the bottom of the tank and watch not just the fish but the people through the fishtank. They watch the fish fight and eat and swim in unseen patterns back and forth. They try to tease and provoke them out of their simple routines if only for the purpose of having fun and having something to do. Don't be afraid, be yourself. You are unique and the world needs you for you and everything you are. We all have our own purpose as well as our own personal Joy. Find yours, use it and share it with the world! Find hope and inspiration in the world around you, even when you have a limited tank and surrounding. Find the piranhas around you and play with them. Get some Joy out of what you have and where you are. Is there a better alternative? Don't forget to ever be open and curious - Joy comes from anywhere and everywhere and for each of us the path to Joy is singularly different. Find your path and follow it - I promise you will love what you find down the road. 

Reduce, Reuse = Recycle

I found this the other day when I was parking in a parking structure in Burbank, California. I saw the sign at first and glanced at it but I didn't really get what it was saying and I didn't have time to stop and go back. I couldn't stop thinking about it afterwards though and when I was finished and came back I took some time to explore and look around. I was curious about what was there around those concrete pillars and walls. Silly I know but something about it just stuck out to me as something neat and interesting and worth looking into. Something that showed mankind investing back into the world it had created in a positive way, or so I hoped. When I got back to the structure I looked at the sign. The boulders that are found all over and on both sides are actually repurposed from the Burbank landfill. It's kind of cool, to take something from an area of waste and putting it to good use where it actually looks good too. It reduces waste and reuses it at the same time, repurposing at its finest. The stones are filled in to imitate the actual California environment. That combined with the native draught-resistant plants makes this garden more than ideal. It requires less upkeep, it will stay nicer longer, it is more ecological friendly and it was done by reusing old waste products. That is seriously really cool. 

The City of Burbank Water & Power company did something inventive and smart, it is a Demonstration Garden to show just how effective they can be. That is what we constantly are, Demonstration Gardens, always showing to others and ourselves the potential that we know we have within. Sometimes it shines brightly through and sometimes it doesn't. Those times are when we really have to hold on to our Joy and what it means to us. We reduce and reuse by taking all of our past and letting it go. We don't just pretend it doesn't exist, we just have to deal with it and move on because in the end there is no way to go back in time and change things. There will never be a way. Deal with everything and don't let that waste, anger, stress, bile, depression build up until it has nowhere left o go except out - or inwards towards yourself. Use those mistakes and bad things and make them Joyful, you learned and survived and moved on. That really is something. Take the Joy you find with you and carry it with you throughout life, leaving gardens for you to visit from time to time when you need to moments. We are always demonstrating because we are never the same, always presenting something new and something exciting. Life is never the same, which is what makes it amazing. But that also means we can't go back in time either. We have to keep moving forward, stay strong and stay Joyful. Don't let things hurt you or weigh you down, let them make you stronger and then cast them to the side. 

Voices of Joy

The farther along I get in this blog the more I contemplate what I want to do with it and how I want to use it to actually make a difference and make a change. Change starts with one individual, one voice among the many others. While I try to make my voice heard I also realize and embrace the fact that I am but one in a sea of voices. I try to find the Joy in my life, even when it takes all my strength, because it is what keeps me going. It is how I survive. I search out those things that bring me Joy and hold on to them. So hopefully do you, and everyone else reading this, and on and on. We all have our own individual Joy and our journey through life is made worth taking by the Joy that we find in life along the way. Living in the here and now is a hard thing, but the more we work on it, the more we focus on it and just kind of let go and try the better off we are. This blog is about my pursuit of my Joy and sharing it with you all in the hopes that I can inspire someone to find the Joy in their own life.

But I also want it to be about other voices, other points of view. There is more than just one kind of person in the world and an infinite number of perspectives people can have. We are all ourselves with our own unique story, vision and wisdom. Each of us has been through a unique set of experiences in life and the more we can learn from our Joy and share it with others the more we can help them through similar situations or just in general. Our individualism is what makes us amazing, what make us unique. Like the lines in the bark of a tree, not one ever the same. For the tree itself and for the tree as a whole. Each tree is unique and as well the pattern is never repeated within the tree. The tree and bark adapt as they grow and things happen. We are like trees in that way, we are unique and yet connected and interwoven into the world around us, above ground where it is easy to see and ten times more so underground where we lie down our roots. While being the tree, we are also each like a small piece or part of that unique natural pattern. Up close things look disconnected and chaotic, but from far away, when perspective changes, the beautiful tapestry of that towering tree that is at least decades old becomes clear.

I have decided to include three other voices on the blog on a weekly basis to help show other people's Joy and what it means to him or her. Joy comes from the smallest things in life and this can help us see that and see the simple Joy in our own lives. The first woman, with her southern wit and charm, is Ms. Tami F. We are going to have Tami Tuesday's and get updates on Tami and her Joy and learn through her experiences. Jenny, a tough & growing young LA woman, will be coming to us one day of the week as well - probably Wednesday. That leaves the last and final new voice, Jerry J - retired from the army, civil & public service, telecommunications and so much more - will be coming to us on Thursdays to help lead us into the end of the week and the weekend. I wanted to bring on these three voices to help show the diversity of Joy and how, yet, it can still bring it all together. We can learn from each other and grow together and be Joyful together. I am really excited and can't wait to see what everyone has to say! We can make it along the way focusing on the pursuit of our own Joy, the secret though is sharing it and accepting it from others. That's what makes it mean more and makes it stay with you.

The Joy of Being an Elephant (Even When Not In The Wild) 🐘🌾🍃🌿☀️🎶

Never forget to dance along to the beat of life, I mean look at this elephant. This magnificent creature is massive and It's been around so much longer than any of us and is built to destroy things many times our size. It's natural tusks are so valuable that they have put the elephant on the endangered species list and threatens to keep them there until they simply cease to exist. I don't know how the LA Zoo aquires and conserves animals but I know that these people and handlers can be trusted. These elephants needed a home and found one here, where they are well taken care of and don't have to worry about poachers or drought or predators. This Establishment has the backing of many very influential and honorable people. I could go on and on, but the point is that while the Zoo is not the ideal spot for the elephants to live it is the best and safest place for them to be right now and at least while they are here we can make sure that they are taken care of in the best manner possible so as to make them happy and make their life most like how it would be if they were home in the wild.

Being here allows them to safely and peacefully live their lives and to be happy as well. Human beings aren't the only living creatures capable of happiness and Joy. All living creatures are capable of love and joy to some form or extent. Look at this beautiful elephant, those amazingly rare and deadly tusks. Yet such a gentle demeanor from an animal not threatened by poachers or rifles. Granted they are still wild animals, but by being rescued we domesticate them to an extant (the least amount as possible) in order to help them acclimate and ultimately survive. They don't get all the same things they would if they were outside the zoo, but they get the extra benefits over the risks. I don't know if this elephant was bred, captured or rescued or whether or not he has ever even seen the wild, but I do know one thing - he doesn't care right now. He is enjoying being alive. Human beings must have invented stress and worry for ourselves because it serves no point except to sabotage our own lives; animals don't seem to be stressing about what their lives will be like in ten years. They live in the here and now because they have to. While we can't necessarily live life without thinking of the future at all we have quite a bit we can learn. This guy floored me, mesmerized me. I couldn't look away and the whole time I was grinning, smiling and laughing along with everyone else there. I was already complaining about odd things throughout the day and look at this elephant here who had more to complain about than me and he was saying screw it, let's make the best of it. It almost made me feel like a fool. 

At this certain point there were about twenty or so people gathered looking out over a meter-high barrier standing between the elephant enclosure and the outside zoo. The elephant seemed to know he had an audience because, as you can see in the video, he looks over many times smiling and keeps going as if to play. In the warm springtime sun he seems to dance to his own tune and rhythm, in sync with whatever is running through his head. He keeps cool by backing into the water from the waterfall and plays around once more by climbing the hill to dance around some more and wave with a smile to his adoring bystanders. It was one of those moments in the zoo when you completely forget about time and everything else and get lost in the sheer Joy of witnessing anther animal not only find its Joy but share it with others. Joy truly is all around us. We have to constantly remind ourselves to be like Mr. Elephant and simply blow off the sand and dirt of troubles and dance away the stiffness and ache of life. Live in the present moment and enjoy what is going on right now, even when your situation is less than ideal work with what you have and make the best of it. You will never get another today again; a tomorrow maybe, but we don't know about that either. Since we can't be sure lets make sure to focus on finding those things of Joy in our life and truly enjoying them once we find them. Once we do that sharing becomes an easy next step as it pretty much happens on its own as you become a becon outward of your own Joy. So play in the dirt and the water, get messy and have fun - sing and dance like there's no tomorrow, because today is all we are guaranteed. 

My Joy - The Story of 15 Tattoos

We all have stories to tell; something that has always fascinated me is the way art can tell a story without having to speak or even elicit words. To me, that's what tattoos are. Works of art, whose canvas is the human body. The tradition goes back to the beginning of civilization in one form or another. People have always felt the need to put something permanently on their body, sometimes for others to see and sometimes not. It has been done as part of tradition, as an expression of self, to stand for or symbolize something, but always to mean something. Every tattoo I have ever gotten I have put thought into. Each one means something different and important to me. All of them, in some way, represent a piece of joy that I want to carry with me forever. I would like to walk you through the 15 tattoos I have, so far, and what they mean to me and why. Along the way we can learn some of the history and science behind tattoos as well. Maybe by sharing the story of my art I can inspire Joy in someone else. Here goes. 

Wave of Joy

Tonight I had the great pleasure of renting an amazing foreign movie from the iTunes Store that is still in theatres. It's a Norwegian film called the Wave. It's about a landslide that causes a tsunami, a giant wave that crashes down upon this remote little town. It's a great movie, a Hollywood disaster movie without the Hollywood - a bit refreshing to be honest. There were many parts in the movie that touched me or caused me to stop and think, but one of the most important came when the final remaining visitors and staff from a resort hotel were finishing loading onto their escape bus. The lead female protagonist worked at the hotel and her son was still missing so she turned back to the hotel because she refused to consider leaving until she had her son. Touching, but something we have all seen before. What came next was what really shocked me. A woman got off the bus and ran after the protagonist as she ran inside. Her husband, standing in the bus entrance yelled after her asking why she wasn't staying on the bus. The woman turned and simply said, "Her son is lost. Her son is lost, I'm going to help find her son." Or something to that effect - you know what I mean. I know it's just a movie written by screenwriters and brought to life by actors, but movies are a reflection of society and the culture from which it came. I think this movie can, in a small way, display how individuals in Norway think about helping others in times of crisis and putting others before oneself. The act itself wasn't what made it stand out so much to me, it was the way it was done and written into the storyline. A cultural or social practice reflecting into thought and therefore creativity and ideas, leading to its expression in art of all forms. If they made a movie about your life what would your character be like? What would the people you surround yourself with be like? What influences you? What influence do you have?

Now don't get me wrong, there are bad people in life and good people who do bad things too. In the same movie even there are many characters who selfishly try to extinguish others in order to somehow ensure their own future. That is the same everywhere though, the difference here was the act of kindness. It wasn't something I see normally in Anerican movies and films. I wish I saw it a lot more, it made me feel good and gave me a little more faith is some cultures and hope for others. Check out The Wave on iTunes if you want a great disaster flick,don't forget it is in subtitles and rated R. Let me know what you think, and remember - somebody's always watching and the best way to cultivate your own joy is to spread it to others. 

ITunes Store Link: The Wave by Roar Uthaug

https://itun.es/us/FVZFab

Jealousy & Pride - Comparisons Inside & Out That Steal Our Joy

Finding the joy in life means finding those things that lift you up and holding on to them throughout the good and the rough times to help keep you going. Each of us is different, a unique individual, with our own interpretation and path to joy. To me it is a lot like religion, there are countless number of ways to find peace and any one way does not stand above another. Growing up I would always ask my parents about religion. What if I were born on the other side of the world, or in Africa? What religion would I be then? What religion would my parents teach me was the right thing to believe? If that is the case and we are told the same, who would be right? It is what you believe to be right. It is about faith, not religion. I just couldn't get over the fact that if I had different parents who taught me to believe something else then I would hold a completely different set of beliefs and would hold convictions with completely different faces. As I grew up I learned that it was about the journey and not the labels; if we strip away all the labels and words we put on things then we can see that it is all the same. All the beliefs are single strands leading to the same end, something bigger. Something more, that is what connects all of us, or so I have come to believe. I have come to the conclusion that faith is the same wherever it is found and it always leads to the recognition of a greater web that connects everything. This centered awareness is the goal of each faith and religion and each of us if we are honest with ourselves. One may call it Allah, another God. They are one in the same and not being able to see that has led to war after war since the beginning of time. Only when we realize that we are all the same on the inside can we start growing and connecting with the world around us in a positive way. Only then can we have that positive impact on the world. 

Jealousy is a very interesting emotion, probably the most interesting not just because of the complexities of it but also because of the so many things it can lead to. Not all of them are good. To me being jealous is like belittling your own joy. Instead of looking at what you have you look outward at someone else, automatically setting yourself up for failure because how can you ever be someone you are not? Even when things are rough we still have things to be joyful about remember, that's the whole point. Hold on to your joy. Hold on to the fact that you are still breathing. That you have a loved one. That you have shelter and food. That you have a job at all. That you have eyes to read and a brain to process your thoughts. When you are looking at all these amazing things you build yourself a life raft to make it through choppy waters and you are able to express that joy outwards towards those around you. It can be rough, I remember growing up being so jealous of all those Abercrombie models and pop stars, why couldn't I have a six pack and blonde hair and big arms? I felt inadequate and ugly for so long, but it drove me to become jealous long before I realized what I was doing. It wasn't just about me not looking like that anymore, it was them looking like that and me never being able to. I wanted to be them so badly and for so long my self-esteem was really messed up because I allowed myself to be influenced by someone else and who they were over who I really was. Being jealous is trying to take other people's joy. I want what you have. I want that job, or that promotion. I want that partner or spouse. I want that body. I want, on and on and on. Thinking these thoughts mean you are actively thinking about taking something from someone else for yourself, even if it is something intangible like control. You want something that is making someone else happy or joyful because you want those feelings for yourself. That doesn't work, it is not only toxic to yourself but harmful to others. Focus on your joy, not someone else's. 

A close relative of jealousy if pride, known to me as "over-inflated joy." Pride is when we take something that brings us joy and we put it on a pedestal to display for others so that we can brag and gloat in order to make ourselves feel like we are adequate and accepted. You are taking something good and corrupting it , which is stupid because in the end the only one hurt is you. When that pride deflates and that ego loses momentum what is there going to be left to help bring you back up again? It isn't always straightforward either, take for example being angry with a coworker after an argument at work and avoiding him or her. Shaking with anger you know you are right and all you can see is that they were wrong, apologizing would mean saying you were wrong and you are better than this person who treated you this way. You know better than him or her, you would never act like that. That over-inflated sense of self refusing to apologize is pride. Not being able to admit when you are wrong, or being able to compromise for the sake of peace, is the same as thinking you are better than everyone else.  Share your joy with others and hold it close for yourself, but not too close. Not so close that you begin to feed it instead of it feeding you. 

Being present and aware in life is important, we can only find joy if we are living in the here and now, but you can't be present when you are narrowly focused on someone else's reality in their own world. Being jealous you force yourself into someone else's joy because you want it for yourself, being prideful forces your joy onto unwilling others. Everyone always says the grass is greener on the other side, but that's because you're looking over the fence and casting a shadow over what you have. Things always look better from someone else's shoes, because we never really know what all comes with those shoes. It is all about perspective and seeing what is before your eyes and seeing what you already have. Try to find the joy in your own life and not someone else's, it will make it a whole lot easier to get what you're looking for in the end. 

Rays of Sunshine - A Poem

"Walking down the gravel pathway I shield my eyes
The setting sun shining through the branches of the eucalyptus tree ahead
Blinding me temporarily, but not disorienting me
Like being overwhelmed with too much brightness
My eyes soon come to adjust as a leaf falls from the tree
And lands on my shoulder."

Rule #5 - Find Your Joy & Share It - Part 1

Part 1:

Here we are, the 5th and final rule on the road to finding joy. This one is the most important and it builds on the foundation of the first four. So many of us feel that emptiness, that void, left from the joy we know should be there. So many know that pain and longing for something more. What we seem to blind ourselves to though is the fact that the joy we want so badly is all around us just waiting to be seized. We have to be open to it when it comes our way, we must be able to recognize it and know how to accept it. We must choose to be joyful and live with intent. Never stop looking for the joy in life because it is always there, just coming from different places sometimes. Find the things that make you happy and hold on to them, hold them strong as a life raft and never let go. When the dark skies gather overhead those things that you carry with you are what will be your beacon of shining light in the storm. They are what will rescue you and what help carry you along through life. 

It may help to keep a journal, write down one thing every day that made you joyful. Or just write whenever you can remember to. Write before bed or carry it with you and write throughout the day. Use the Notepad app on your smartphone, or another journaling app. Make a photo journal if you like to take pictures. Do whatever it takes for you to recognize your joy and grab hold. You can start by looking for and recognizing things around you that you see everyday that bring you even the littlest spark of joy. Maybe it's the special coffee you get every morning or the color of the sky just after it rains. Maybe it's the smell of the ocean or maybe it's the feel of the forest floor. It could be reading a new book, an old book, a favorite book, a comic book or just about anything else. Joy is specific to each and every one of us, just stand still and listen - you will hear the call of joy. Too many times we put so much time, effort and energy into trying to be happy and joyful that we don't see what's right in front of us - joy itself. The noise that we make and the clamor from all of our actions drown out the truth facing us everyday. 

I recently saw a quote from Chuang-Tse saying "Perfect happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness." It is confusing to think about at first, searching and yet standing still. How does that work? Well, it's pretty easy if you just let go. Stop stressing, stop worrying, stop grinding your teeth, stop biting your nails and every other bad habit that exists. The active part comes from choosing to see the joyful things in life and focus on them even with the troubled and dark times. Standing still means taking a deep breathe to realize that you are alive and things will be ok. When you take a second to stand still and focus on your breathing or your heart rate it becomes much easier to rationalize and make yourself understand that in this moment you are living and thinking. For that alone you can be joyful. It is just like love, don't go searching for joy or you will never find it. When you search for something your vision becomes tunneled and focused and you lose sight of the things surrounding you, the very place where things are always hidden. Take a moment today to relax and focus. Try to do it every morning or everyday at lunch or every morning in the car. It can be for ten minutes for for two. Listen to your favorite song or look at your favorite scrapbook. Take a moment for joy because however cliche we don't know if we will get a tomorrow or not. We don't know if we will get a later today or not. We must treasure the greatest gift we could ever receive, joy to fill the short time we are here on this planet. We can get caught up in life and work and our crazy hectic schedules and forget that we are mortal and our time here is limited. We do forget to stop and smell the roses, which we say we don't have time to do now but what are we going to think and feel the day we die? Will we wish we had taken it in more then? Yea, probably, so let's not let it be too late. It's never to late to change, ever. Don't be like a fallen leaf carried place to place on the wind, let yourself take a minute and just soak it all in. Things are never as bad as they seem to be, don't let yourself get tricked by all these people telling you where to go and who to be. You are you, there's no changing that, and there's no changing that you are going to die someday - let's live the time we have filled with and motivated by Joy. Find Your Joy & Share It!

Rule #4 - Hard Times Will Always Come, We Have To Choose How We Let Them Shape Us

Our problems with joy never stem from having too much of it, it's those times when we are truly lacking it that we realize just how hard life can be. It seems those times come in our life more often than we expect. I'm not talking about the little things that happen all day long, but sometimes even then things can feel amplified to unbelievable proportions. These bad times can drag us down and ruin our days, weeks, months or even years. Bad things are always happening and always will, the key is learning how to turn things around and make them positive or joyful. Not always smiling and happy, but joyful. There's always a joyful side to everything. Things could always have been worse, you can always have less and you could always be dead - but you're not, at least for now. Seize the moment, the day. Each of ours are limited. It's why I got the word "Joy" tattooed on the inside of my right wrist. No matter what I am doing all day long I will always see that word and be reminded that just by looking at and seeing it I have so many things to be joyful about. I can see, I am alive, I'm healthy and on and on. That's what you must find for yourself, a constant reminder that things are ok and will be as long as you don't panic and think positively. Sometimes the only joy that comes from a situation is in knowing that you have learned an important lesson, but even then isn't it worth it? A lesson learned prevents countless future mistakes. 

The only way to lead a joyful life is to look at everything joyfully. When you're walking down the street think about your day and everything that has happened so far. Take a second to breathe and reflect. If you can sort out the day you've had so far you'll be more prepared to face the rest of the day and all the things you have yet to face. Remember the joy in life, in things, in what has happened to you today and what will happen to you tomorrow. It's like footprints in the sand, there are those times when someone carries you through and instead of leaving two sets of footprints there are only one and those times when all that's left after the dust settles are prints and tracks all over in every direction resulting from the tumultulous intertwining of lives we are but a small part of. One singular thing that happens to us doesn't affect just us, it affects how we interact with others. We can let negative things keep us down and brood over them, holding on to fear, pain and vengeance, but because it affects how we then deal with the world around us and in turn the people in it we have to choose who we are going to allow to be affected. Hate is a poison spread over and over like a disease. When we hit those hard times, as we most certainly will, we have to remain strong not just for our own sake but for others. The sprawling blue ocean lies just beyond the dunes, to get there we just have to climb some hills of sand. The thing about sand is that it's tricky, you slide and slip and sink. It's almost impossible to get a grip or grasp on it. We have to rely on each other to get the support we need to stay afloat. No one can do everything alone, we are here to help lift each other up. Don't let your circumstances shape you, shape your circumstances. 

Fighting Pre-Conceived Notions Is A Full Time Job When They Are Constantly Being Rebuilt By Society

With love being the expression of joy and hate being it's absence, pre-conceived ideas and opinions are the vines that tie us down. Those vines being put there by the world around us, the society that we live immersed in. How ironic that the things that cause the biggest barriers of hate are of our own making. The society we have evolved into is one that profits off the misery and downfall of others. Look at marketing in the westernized world today, it's goal is to make you feel like you won't be enough (in whatever way) unless you have their product. It ranges from the "best" shampoo to the "purest" spring-fed water bottles to designer or name-brand clothing to skin cream and plastic surgery - the list goes on and on, expanding more with each passing day. We have created the "perfect" person that we all strive to be, the problem of course being that the perfection is ever-changing. As a byproduct of creating an ideal person we bring stereotypes and discrimination into the world. Anyone who does not fit into our little mold is thrown aside as an outcast and shunned. We group people together and put the labels on them that we are told. This religion is bad, this sexual orientation is bad, on and on. Because these choking vines come from the world we have built for ourselves they will keep coming as long as we give them a world in which to thrive. 

It is our job in life to see when those vines are obscuring our view and tying us down. Tearing them off is easy, the hard part is keeping them off because the next thing you know they have already grown back up around your ankles. The trick is to teach yourself how to identify when those thorny arms have their hold, because only then can you do something about it. Make yourself aware of how you are thinking and why you feel the way you do about things. These ideas of hate come at us from all around, television, movies, books, the news, politicians, media, etc. - constantly ensnaring and trapping us. A never-ending battle, a job for the ages. Don't give up, you're not alone; you're not the only one. Just keep pushing. Hold on to your joy and don't let go. We can't change how the world works per se, just how we work within it. 

Shaken To The Core: Standing Up For Whats Right For The Sake of MakingThe World A Better Place

The other day when my husband and I were hiking in one of my favorite parks nearby we passed a section of fence around one of the fields that was crumbling. The beams were knocked down for several sections in a row and one pillar was damaged while this one looked half-destroyed. All that stood remaining from the cracked concrete pillar were two metal rods. Even though the top had been pummeled away somehow and the rest of the stone cracked down to the core, the two rods, the so-called backbone and foundation of the pillar, were standing and would remain standing. It struck me walking by how odd it looked to see everything stripped away bare, leaving exposed the true nature of something. Just as this seemingly indestructible pillar we too are susceptible to cracking and crumbling under immense amount of pressure. No matter how hard things knock at you though, no matter how much things try to tear you down, your true self will always be there. The real you, your true self and identity. People in this life will try to attack you and peck away piece by piece, but no one can every change you. Don't be discouraged, even if they pick away at the surface the real you is still there underneath, indestructible. This past week at work combined with other previous experiences that have come up has been really hard on me. Understanding hate is something that will always elude me. I've learned the pain of having true hate directed meaningfully right at you. It was a terrible feeling that I am still trying to shake, but I am getting through it. We have to remember that, if we hold on to our true selves we can make it through anything. Not only that but we can build ourselves back up again from even nothing because we have the only thing we need to start anew - a foundation. Today I had to tell my best friend from college, someone who has been like a brother to me for over ten years, that one of his family members was no longer allowed over because of the fact that I could not deal with blatant racism especially directed towards my husband in our own home. I had been holding on to it for a week and a half because I dreaded the conversation but he took it really well, apologized, accepted my request that she not come back and even went as far as to discuss it with her to some extent later privately. I was surprised he didn't get mad and hang up or scream at me, and I felt so relieved after having finally said something that it felt like a weight off my chest. Like I could almost breathe again. I had stood up for something, and I felt proud because I did so calmly but firmly. At this point in my life, being almost thirty years old, I won't tolerate hate around me anymore and I will make sure to do my best to put an end to it. Standing up for what it right makes the world a better place and it makes you a better person, it's like standing up for joy. Defending joy from those things that thrive in it's dark absence. Next time you feel yourself shaken take hold of your roots and hold on, hold on to yourself and don't let go. Hold on to joy and don't let go. Hold on to love and don't let go. Don't be afraid to stand up for what you believe in, for someone else, for yourself - it's ok to take a stand against the things in this world we wish we could change. Can you imagine what would happen if more people did? A revolution.