Joy Means Setting & Achieving Goals, Realistic Ones

Life is so short and so precious and yet all we do is rush through it as fast as we can because we are so eager to reach our goals. What we can't often see is how far fetched our expectations are for ourselves and our life. Unrealistic goals only cause more stress and unhappiness. You have to have goals that are obtainable for you. Goals you want to achieve. Goals you are determined to achieve. If you are never going to achieve something then why waste time even trying. People are always unhappy with themselves and their lives, but it's because they place unrealistic expectations on themselves. If you suck in science you aren't going to be a doctor. If your bad at math you're not going to be a banker. If you spend all of your life trying to achieve something you never will you not only waste the precious time you have but you also make yourself miserable all along the way. I don't know about everyone else but I sure as hell know that if I have one shot at this I don't want to spend it suffering of my own accord.

Whether it is in life or at a job, in high school English or college advanced English, expecting too much of yourself sets you up for failure. At some point while growing up all of us had to learn that we aren't all good at everything. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Combine that with the fact that we are also all unique individuals and you see that in life we all have separate paths with different direction and different goals. In no way does different mean bad, would you want your goals and plans based on a plan that doesn't fit or feel right? Our destiny is right in front of us, it's our job to reach out and live it. 

There are really two kinds of people in this world, those with goals and those without. Having no direction or purpose in life versus waking up every morning happy to be alive and joyfully thankful for all that you have. We have to push ourselves in order to grow, we all must face challenges along our journey in order to shape us into the person we are to become. Yet our dreams have to be within our grasp or else why dream about it. Life isn't about living for one dream. Have another dream, when you fulfill one come up with another. The sky is the limit. Do anything you want. Life is an endless possibility. 

I always have something long term that I am working to achieve, if not I tend to lose direction and focus. I as well have probably twice as many things I am working on while I slowly work toward something I want. These goals also help motivate me and serve as a reward in and of themselves. The finish line is much sweeter when you are the one that set it up beforehand. The feeling when you achieve something is unbelievable - if anything is a self confidence or self esteem builder this is it. When I graduated from college at The University of Tennessee I told myself that I was going to work there in Tennessee for a few years and build experience until I could really get a job anywhere else. I worked at it slowly, speeding up as the process went along. Over the course of probably 6 months or so I worked out and got a new job in LA at UCLA Medical Center and I was going to stay with my best friend from high school and his wife. UCLA?! Right? I couldn't believe that from a small, yet recognized, hospital in Tennessee I had somehow gotten the attention of a hospital on the other side of the county. It also just happened to be one of the top five hospitals in the country. I was pretty damn proud. Of course I have always known and will always freely admit that I could not have accomplished any of it without the assistance of my living and supporting family, my friends and my amazing angel Charlie (whom I met after I moved to Los Angeles, but that's another marvelous story). I felt so amazing walking down the hallways of the hospital. I was so proud of myself. My hard work had paid off and I had gotten something big out of it. Now I have the perfect job and have shifted my focus to other areas of my life. But I always have a goal to work toward, each achievement building on the last. There's always something to work on in my life, but if I split my focus between all of them I will get nothing accomplished.
Making realistic goals is important because it helps develop your identity and it pushes you forward in life on the right paths. We need something to work toward, something other than just going to work or doing something at work we were already doing anyway. Something extra. You can accomplish whatever you want if you put your mind to it and just keep going. Make sure it's something you can realistically get done in a reasonable amount of time. So many people at my old job and back in Tennessee tell me that they cant't believe how I could just get up and go to California. What I never understood was whether or not these people ever dreamed or had any aspirations higher than their own daily routine. Hard work can accomplish anything, even if it takes time. Your life is your own, make sure you go as far as you can possibly go. You can control the course of your life by simply working towards the things you really want. My suggestion to you is to sit back and think about all the things going on in your life and the things you are working towards. Do you have dreams and goals that are your own? Are you doing anything about those dreams? Lying on your deathbed do you want to be another one of the cliche people rambling about their regrets over opportunities passed up in fear? No, of course not. You are the only one who can prevent that. The joy that comes from seeing just what you can accomplish and seeing it go towards something you want so bad is more than overwhelming. Try it out, see how you feel.
What's a good way to start? Start making short term goals for yourself. Make a list of five things you want to accomplish by next week. Then carry that list with you as a reminder to constantly be doing something to help move yourself along towards the end. They don't have to be major. Things like not getting in an argument with your significant other, showing up on time to all your classes or work, finishing that painting you have been working on, running for twenty minutes a day, starting a journal, the list goes on and on. Have fun, be yourself. Who else is going to be?
What are your goals? Tell me, let me know what you are working towards.
Stay Joyful