"The Wisdom of Joy From Jerry" #3 - My Grandson Daniel

Do you know what really brings joy to my life? After having 6 kids and 6 grandkids I haven't, until now, had the opportunity nor the time to really be there every step of the way for one of them as they grew up. Retirement has its benefits. Three, and sometimes more, days a week I watch my grandson Daniel. We spend most of the day together, at least half of it alone. He's my little buddy. It's amazing to see the rate of development of the human mind and witness it's exponential experimental growth. It is phenomenal to be able to witness something like that. He is two, going on three here in June. He's been talking for a while now, but to witness him go from sounds to individual words to sentences and where he is now is something they will always amaze me. It is interesting, if you listen closely they speak in thoughts instead of sentences or formed ideas. You can literally listen to them work things out. 

There are times Daniel will just look at me out of the corner of his eyes like a little miniature adult, as if he knows exactly what I'm thinking. Watching him play brings me so much joy, we have a lot of fun together. He loves playing with his new Jet Planes. He will pick them up, lift them high in the air and run around telling everyone that the Jet Planes are coming and to watch their ears. Then he will make his Jet Engine sounds as he maneuvers them all over the house. The greatest learning curve in life is supposed to be somewhere around three or so until about age seven. If he is this amazing now I can't fathom the strides he is about to take, and so quickly at that. I can sit and have a conversation with him now, it's unbelievable; no more babytalk. It is also one of the greatest gifts I never would have thought to ask for. After always being so busy and taken up with work being retired is welcome and freeing. I never thought I would be able to spend that free time with my little guy Daniel. He turns three in less than a month and as my wife retires at the end of the month there will be more people around in the mornings and afternoons. Not that I don't love that as well, but I really do treasure and cherish those moments we had and have between us. It's not often in life you get an opportunity like that, an opportunity to really connect with and help shape someone. It's a two way street as well, as you shape someone else they shape you as well. Having Daniel brings me so much Joy and the opportunity to be there for him gives me more Joy than almost anything else. I thank God everyday for all of my kids and grandkids and my wife; family is everything in the end, when you are there for each other it help lifts everyone up and promotes growth and learning which fosters hope and courage leading to strength. Human beings are amazing and intricate creatures; the fact alone that we are living, that the billions and billions of things necessary for our survival go right at the right time and all together, is reason enough to bring all of us Joy. We are living. Don't ever forget that, it's something that is surprisingly easily forgotten. 

Lost Looking For Life - Being Purposely Mindful on Purpose

I was recently introduced to the concept of mindfulness, well let me put it this way - I was recently introduced to the label for what I already knew was mindfulness. One of the most recent tattoos I got was the symbol for mindfulness on the inside of my right wrist to always remind me to stay present and aware. That is the only way to live a joyful or happy life, that's really the only way to live life at all. I knew why I wanted another tattoo and the spot that I needed to fill in, but more than that I knew that feeling - that message to myself - that belonged there. I went searching and when I came across the symbol I knew it was perfect for me. Anxiety and stress have both become controlling factors in my life, as if they have taken over and sabotage my attempts at a joyful life. Through practicing mindfulness I can exert some control back over my life and who I am. I can start to learn what Joy is again and learn how to live life the way it is meant to be lived. 

What is mindfulness? What exactly does that word mean? I'm still personally trying to conceptualize and put it into words that can explain what it means to me. The easiest way is to say that mindfulness means paying close attention to present experiences with curiosity, openness and a willingness to live with what already is as it is. It is taking a slow deep breath and taking a look at the world around you that you're interacting with and realIzing you are a part of it all. And you are contributing to it. And taking away from it. You are one small piece of a world you miss out on when you spend your time on your phone or lost in worry and stress over things you can never affect anyhow. To me, being mindful simply means taking the time to let go and live life in the here and now. 

Practicing mindfulness can be useful in our everyday lives because it can be an amazing tool to help us make active changes that need to be made. Meditation, a tool to help develop mindfulness, is a deliberate and sustained practice of noticing what is happening in your reality and where it is happening - thoughts, emotions and physical sensations all noted and observed in order to learn, reflect and seek guidance. The goal here though is to observe rather than to act and change. If being mindful means living in the here and now then meditating is the reflection before the action of living can happen. While one is a way to live the other is a way to learn to silence oneself in order to better be able to live mindfully. Let me give you an example. I am an RN and have worked many years on the floor and at the bedside in the hospital. Part of my job was to assist the MD with delicate bedside procedures. I was always mindful, being aware of what is happening and my emotions. Aware of the physical sensations I feel and attendant to my surroundings. Paying attention to detail, the detail of this moment and only this moment. It makes me safer and it makes the situation safer, it's responsible. Now it wouldn't be responsible to start meditating there at the bedside, it would be disastrous. While meditating I would just simply observe and never act to do or change anything. I need to react there at the bedside and if I don't then the situation becomes dangerous. 

Being mindful is always possible, anywhere at any time. Meditation is a tool we can use at certain times to help open ourselves up and make us better at being mindful. We can learn practices that help us along the way that stay with us for life, practices that help ground us and remind us to be mindful of the time we are living in. An important part of all of this is the aspect of concentration or having an anchor. This is something that holds you to the present moment; it could be your breath, the sensation in your toes, how your clothes feel, or even how your special token feels sitting in your hand. Something physical that brings a sense of calm and peace, that helps serve as a guide toward your meditative place. Focusing on these things as you are trying and starting to meditate help bring you to that calm spot. I use my little stone carved turtle in my hand and the feeling and shape of the smoothly polished stone as I breath in and out. Because it's small I can carry it everywhere with me. Whatever it is for you go for it. Maybe it's how your back feels when you relax back and take deep breaths, find that anchor that is for you. That thing that holds you to your inner self is your biggest help and guide, your best friend. Find that anchor and hold on, keep it there for when you need it - because you will need it. Besides all the amazing mental and physical health benefits, research has found that mindfulness actually changes our brains by increasing the density of gray matter in brain regions linked to learning, memory, emotion regulation and empathy. It can help with anything because it also helps your health and general well being. It makes you a better more well-rounded person. 

Here's my challenge to you: find one routine physical activity that is normal for you, something you do most days, and start an experiment. Try doing it mindfully. Whether it is doing your hair, showering, brushing your teeth, cooking, eating, whatever it is - do it mindfully. That means paying attention to what you are doing - being in the here and now. Do it deliberately and slowly and notice the thought, emotions and sensations that you feel while doing it. Don't be distracted by the TV or radio, conversation or your iPhone, and don't hurry to get it done. Just enjoy doing it, that's life. That's the only life we have. Try it, the more you practice the easier it gets. The task you are working on will always get finished, but when done mindfully it can give so much more meaning and depth to any and every part of life and expand your Joy ten-fold. 

Don't Just Keep Swimming, Go For A Swim & Enjoy Doing It

I just freaking love this video! 💦🐢💦 I love turtles so much anyway, to me they are my zodiac symbol. While I don't believe in that I do believe that certain traits are more common at certain times of year, etc. I am a Cancer and I really fit the definition perfectly, while some people are more blended. Either way, to me it's just one way man has attempted to understand the stars' effects on us and how timing in cycles affect outcomes of individual events. Normally a Cancer is a crab, but I feel a turtle is a much better representation  And it works too, it fits all the same properties of the crab that are used for its representation of its people. Turtles are beautiful creatures with intricate and strong shells that are more than just something pretty to look at, it also provides a home and hiding place for the turtle. He can withdrawal whenever he doesn't feel safe. A lot like me. I could go on and on, let's just say I've taken a big liking to turtles now. Something about it in my gut feels right so I go with it. After feeding giant sea turtles you can't get much better, but I just loved watching this little guy go for a swim. I hadn't seen this particular turtle swim like this before and it was cool being right there and getting to watch as he swam right across my view. 

It relaxes me so much to watch them when they glide so effortlessly in the water. They just use smooth, wide, strong arc waves from their front appendages to propel themselves forward. Slowly and steadily the strength of each push combines to move the turtle along quite speedily. 

He made me smile. As you start your day today remind yourself to take it easy. Take a deep breath and slow down a couple times today. Be mindful. Take 15 seconds to pause, breathe deeply and clear your head and focus only on what you are doing right now - that is what mindfulness is. Try it today, use it to help you glide along like this fella. Don't just go through your life, enjoy it. Don't forget about living the life your so busy worrying and stressing away. 

Calling To You - Don't Let It Fall On Deaf Ears

The other day we were walking through the LA Zoo & I came across this African-beaded bracelet. I don't know why but for some reason I just love wandering through shops, all kinds and all over. The Zoo is no exception, no matter how many times we go and continue to go with our new season pass I will always wander all the different shops and stores all around the park. I love seeing all the different stuff and just watching, observing and checking things out. There are always those things too that you find when you are out living life on your adventures that just speak to you. Not in that cliche kind of way but in the way that you see something and it's just like a click or a pop. Like something sliding into place. A key into a keyhole, literally and metaphorically. Keys in life are abundant, they are metaphorical and metaphysical as well as real and tangible and purposeful. I could go on and on about keys forever and their meaning, use and symbolism but right now the kind of key I want to focus on is the kind that you don't use to open doors but to keep yourself open throughout the everyday ups and downs that life brings your way. Maybe it's me, maybe I am crazy, but there are certain things in life that just fall into your path - things. It borders on materialistic, but it's not. It's not about owning or having something or yearning or holding on to something. It's about finding things that bring your Joy and strength and using those things to bring your life the boost it sometimes needs to keep going. For example, ever since somewhere around high school I have had this thing with having some kind of pendant around my neck. Something I never take off, occasionally for a shower but nothing else. It is always something that I find of pick out and that has meaning to me, never anything cheesy - always something respectable, fashionable or trendy. The point is that each one means something to me and always having it on, for some reason, gives me strength and makes me feel like I have it in me to keep going when I get frustrated and want to just give up and quit. It is a part of me, a part of my identity - and it means the world to me. One was a metal beach pendant with a shell from Hollister, one was a meteorite in silver while the one I am currently wearing is a Sterling Silver fishhook with a nice J-shape that has golden thread on top and a pearl I hand-picked from an Oyster in its hook. That hook reminds me of the water which brings me peace and the pearl comes from the water itself. It is my birthstone and it is the only living stone which makes it the coolest thing ever and each one different and unique. This necklace means a lot to me and when I see it in the mirror it brings up certain emotions and feelings. A positive reinforcement tool. These things though, they are presented to us by the Universe, they are not left up to our own devices of choosing. 

It can be anything anywhere, from a thrift store to a park seasonal outpost, or an old used bookstore or in the mall you love going to all the time. Take a moment to look, take a moment to feel and open yourself so that you will recognize those things when they speak to you.

We all have our things, my brother has his X-Box and I know it means the world to him in so many different ways. My Dad has his one of his US Military Dog Tags on his keychain still, which is one of my favorite things about him. Maybe checking out at the gas station you see a silly little toy that just makes you laugh or  at the grocery store you see a character from one of your favorite kids movies on a nerdy glass or plate that just makes you grin from ear to ear. Maybe it's a copy of a certain old edition book you find in an antique bookstore, a book you read as a child in middle school and never thought you would read ever again. Or that same book signed by the author. Or a jellyfish frozen in glass from your honeymoon visit to the Shark Reef in Vegas. Whatever it is it doesn't matter, what matters is that it brings you Joy in some way. It allows you to live life the way it is meant to be, in the present. It is up to you when to move on from an object to another, sometimes letting go is really really hard (especially if we really like the item we are trying to let go of) but we have to bear in mind that change and growth require sacrifice and pain sometimes in order to get us to a better place. Your token may not be your token in ten years or so, but will you and your Joy still be the same after that same time? No - and that's ok too. The key thing to remember is that Joy comes from the world around and within us, and the things out in that world speak to us as individuals and call to us in order to help strengthen and guide us on our quest to freedom. We must keep ourselves open to what the Universe is sending our way or we will miss all the true gifts that we are meant to receive. 

This green bracelet of African-beads came from the LA Zoo, I saw it while I was purusing the other day. I saw it out of the corner of my eye and had to do a double take. I had felt something, that spark - that knowing. That's when you get a little bit of that extra pep and quickness in your step in the store trying to make your way over to what piqued your curiosity. You know it has to be real when you get that feeling of hoping against all odds that other people don't get them all before you get there because if they are out you are going to have to explain to your inner self that little feeling of letdown. 

Those little things are the things that make us who we are, make us us. I saw that bracelet and I saw a million things at once, I saw the Africa that my parents brought back from their trip & safari when I was a kid and the fascination that grew throughout my childhood and I saw the beaded bracelet my parents had brought me back. It is too small now, but still priceless to me. My husband got me these beads, I could have gotten the more expensive band but for some reason I just felt right deep down about this one and when I hesitated and tried to change my mind it felt wrong. It is really Earthy to me with the colors, the Earth-Green is really calming and peaceful and it makes me feel balanced and centered - just like my tattoo. It reminds me of my parents and my family and growing up, it reminds me of my loving husband and his amazing generosity and it reminds me that I am Joyful and that that is all I really need to know. Remember to keep yourself open and don't be deaf to the world around you. It is constantly sending you messages and gifts and tools, but if you close yourself off then you will never reap the rewards or benefits of it's treasures. Use the tools you are given, spend the extra 10$ on that little souvenir on the counter that you want. Take it home and put it on your desk, or next to your coffee machine. Put it somewhere where it makes you smile. Do it for you - for no one else other than you. Then share it, not for you - but for the world. Here's my challenge - find something that speaks to you and get it. Keep it somewhere closeby. Maybe it's the tiny carved stone turtle or the leather journal or the baseball mitt or even the dancing hula man for your dashboard from the 99-cents store. Pick it up and let it make you Joyful, then you can do the same for others. 

Sometimes Off The Beaten Path Is The Best & Surest Route

One of my favorite things to do is go hiking, it is the closest to feeling free that I have ever felt. It's like the world melting away and there being nothing left except you, your companions and nature. There is so much you can learn, both about the world and about yourself. At the beginning of the trail I was on the other day I saw this marker sign that signaled the start of the trail. It was graffitied but still stood strong, showing the way. Not too far up from that point there split off to the left a dirt wash that curved around ahead to meet up once again with the trail of asphalt going to the right and curving slightly back left. I took these shots and they got me thinking afterwards. We took the normal asphalt path that eventually went to gravel and then dirt but the whole time we were next to that dirt wash I wanted to be walking over there. I don't know why, I've always been like that. I like walking for miles in flip flops for fun, I go out of my way to find the rocks and roots on the hiking trail to jump on and climb over and I love taking the hard and rough path. I should have taken that route. Oh well, next time. The point though is that sometimes the way to go in life isn't on the trail. Sometimes you need to go off the trail and take the dirt path. Life isn't scripted and living in the moment means taking whatever way is right at the time. Take the dirt path when it feels right, it's your life and your decisions. Never limit yourself by the paths that others have left behind. Don't be afraid to break your own ground and make your own way. 

Cultivating Joy - A Healthy Growth Medium

I remember reading an article about buildings in Asia starting a new tax-incentive program that included building "Green Rooftops" or rooftops that acted as gardens to help replenish the oxygen and atmosphere of the surrounding city. What an amazing idea, right? Well, I saw it here in Los Angeles, CA too! At our Zoo we have an exhibit called "The Lair: Living Amphibians, Invertebrates & Reptiles." Needless to say that when I do make it through this exhibit it is normally with one eye shut and rushing past everyone on the tips of my toes. But something that struck me was the composition of the building, the roof in particular. The architects had really planned this one out and made a building that truly reflected not just its inhabitants but the land upon which it stood. The roof was more than just planks of wood and steel holding together the frame for the exhibit, it was a whole ecosystem of plants and fauna. All of them living, surviving and thriving up there. The roof was, is, alive. What a beautiful thing. The building becomes part of the world it inhabits instead of just an occupant. It's a lot like us, we can be an occupant of this life, this world that surrounds us at all turns, or we can truly become a part of it. We can become a functioning part that not only lives but thrives. We can plant those bushes and trees and plants on our roof and help grow and supply our own fuel, like solar panels that keep growing despite the sunlight. We are organic beings and we must be open to all the different ways around us that we can use to not just sustain and energize ourselves but also encourage and support ourselves as well. The architects at the Zoo did something amazing with this building, they combined form and function in order to make a more efficient and self-sustaining building. It is up to us in life to make ourselves more self-sufficient and self-sustainable; lucky for us though we don't have to go at it alone - we have all the help we need all around us. Our Joy is there waiting for us, waiting to be cultivated with love and grown with care. 

A Little Patience Goes A Long Way - We Are The Only Ones HoldingOurselves Back

Every day is filled with thousands of moments and thousands of interactions with the world around us. Most of those moments won't go the way we planned, but why would they? We can't control the future, we can only control how we react and adapt to things. We have so many interactions every single day, from the time we wake up to the time we go to sleep; we are constantly interacting with others. From your family to your friends to the people you work with to the strangers you run into on the street and out in public; we can't go through life without coming into contact with others. Even when we isolate ourselves, whether from fear, depression and anger, we can't cut ourselves off completely. You have to earn a living or make money somehow, even if it's just some kind of financial aide you still have to deal with offices and phone calls and forms galore. Even when we lock ourselves in our apartment to play video games we can't stand the thought of being alone so much that we now have headsets wired into the controllers in order to talk to other gamers. Phone calls, chats, texts, conversations - they are all forms of communication and interaction.

With our ever expanding technology we are constantly being connected in new and different ways to the people and world around us. From Facebook and Facebook Messenger to the iCloud & iMessage, with each passing generation we become more and more interlinked with the world. The internet makes it possible to form those bonds and links across borders and oceans. Our bubble has expanded from minuscule to global in only a few short decades. Along with that have come a whole new world and set of interactions and communications allowing the kinds of relationships that were never possible in the past. It makes you wonder where things will go next. 

Because this is still new to our species we are still adapting to it, it's meaning and its implications. Our own laws have trouble keeping up with things and our lawmakers and elected officials are paid to make sure that our laws stay current and applicable. If we can't even govern ourselves congruently then do we ourselves as individuals have any hope of navigating this messy and evolving world on our own? Of course we do, things are never as complicated as they seem. Our minds and society like to make things over complicated to trick us. One trick is due to its over analyzing and over thinking trying to do the right thing while the other plays with only winning and deceit in mind.  The trick is to not let yourself get lost in the chaos and the background noise over what is really important.
Whether we choose to accept it or not, the truth is that whenever we interact with someone it has an impact on us - positive or negative or somewhere in-between. We have a majority of control over whether these experiences benefit us our harm us, we just have to be aware of this power that we hold or we will never be able to yield it. Sometimes the effect is small and hardly noticeable and sometimes its much bigger than that. Remember back on those times you had a bad experience with some stranger in public, whether at a sporting event, movie theatre, park, mall or wherever else. Whether it was a glare that just rubbed you the wrong way or negative words exchanged the effect can be the same. It carries over into the rest of your day and ruins the joy you are trying so hard to cultivate and hold on to.
In the hurry of our day to day life it is easy to forget the value of a little patience. We get so caught up in our busy schedules and hectic lives that we often overlook the fact that by just slowing down and taking a minute to breathe we can not only positively change our own day but someone else's as well. All day long we are faced with stressors and annoyances that we can either let rub us the wrong way or we can shrug off and keep moving. Patience is a virtue, one that is too hard for most of us to even consider tying to tackle. The trick though comes in just letting go. Letting go of the illusion of control you think you have, letting go of the control you think you have on the world around you. Patience means accepting the world around you and allowing it to work in its own time to process things and bring about change. This doesn't mean they we can't stand up and help or give an extra push here or there though. 

What about that moment this morning when someone pulled out in front of you on the freeway or when someone cut in front of you in line at the Post Office? Sometimes it's hard to be patient with the world around you when it seems like nothing is going your way and everything is working against you. This is when it is important to realize and remember that there isn't anything you can do to change  your situation except to stay strong and keep pushing on. There is no giving up, there is no letting yourself or anyone else down. We are all in a hurry most of the time, our society teaches us that the only way to get anything done is in a hurry flying by the edge of your seat. Rarely do we ever take a moment to take a deep breath and enjoy this precious time we have been given. We get so wrapped up in the act of living that we forget to actually live. 

Rushing throughout our days we honk at the drivers that cut us off and grumble at the people that cut us in line at Starbucks. We grumble when someone takes the last sandwich at the company picnic and we curse the suck up who beat us for employee of the month. This thinking and course of actions only serve to hurt both us and the people around us. When we are impatient we allow two things to happen, we give others our permission to start tearing us down and we give ourselves permission to hold it against them. How does that help anyone? It doesn't. It helps no one. It leaves you open to being hurt and being torn down. We have enough stressful things that go on in our daily lives, we have to do what we can to make things better than they were before. 

When you scream at the person annoying you or flip them off as you walk or drive by does it really make you feel better or does it just release some pent up anger and frustration? We plant the seeds that grow into what our lives are to become. Those seeds sprout and grow and are carried along on our back as we go throughout our day. After countless interactions all day long, how do we really feel at the end of the day? Do we feel annoyed and stressed or do we feel calm and at peace? Most of the time it's the former. We let these little things get under our skin and tear us apart from the inside out. When we lose our patience it only hurts us and only serves to drive anger into our daily lives that we will carry with us and allow to eat us from the inside out. Those little snaps, the flashes of anger and frustration no matter how small, build up and stay with us throughout the day and have more of an effect that we know. That irritation stays with us and clings to us for the rest of the day. Instead we have to choose patience, choose the path of least resistance; the path of joy is what leads to progress, not the path to hate. 

We have moment after moment all day long to show patience and kindness to those around us. Let the driver pull in front of you, let the pedestrian cross the crosswalk, open the door for someone who's hands are full, let someone else take your spot in the elevator - the possibilities are endless. So often we are in such a hurry that we forget to be aware of what is going on around us. By having a little patience we can be an example and really show some joy to someone who probably isn't even expecting it. Being patient isn't just for ourselves, it's for the world around us. Being patient is like keeping yourself open in order to spread joy and hope openly to those around you. Patience is more of a gift than a virtue, and the rewards are immeasurable. We are the only ones holding ourselves back, we are the ones who decide how we act in the world and how we treat other people. This past weekend I spend time with my husband at the LA Waterfront in Long Beach, CA and we had a really good time. My favorite spot was along part of the boardwalk where there were 5 old anchors on display all around the planks for people to study and see. These old anchors, once lodged at the bottom of the ocean, now stand here for all to see. These beautiful nautical treasures reminded me of what we as humans are trying so often to achieve - balance and equality. Each of us has our own anchor, or set of anchors, that we use to keep us safe and grounded in rough times. When the sea starts to swell we all need something to hold on to. It is the same with patience and interacting with others, we have the things that keep us grounded in life and we must do all that we can to hold on to them and draw strength. Having those tow-cables and anchors help guide us when we feel lost and help slow us down enough to think clearly and with patience. In order to do this though we first have to find our anchor or anchors that keep us grounded. The only one holding us back is ourselves, but that isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes the anchors we hold on to help keep us from losing ground and floating back out to sea. Be patient, take your time today, hold on to your anchors and let them guide you. They are holding you at a certain point for a reason. Open yourself up and live life grounded enough to see that when you are patient all that you desire will eventually come your way. 

Jealousy & Pride - Comparisons Inside & Out That Steal Our Joy

Finding the joy in life means finding those things that lift you up and holding on to them throughout the good and the rough times to help keep you going. Each of us is different, a unique individual, with our own interpretation and path to joy. To me it is a lot like religion, there are countless number of ways to find peace and any one way does not stand above another. Growing up I would always ask my parents about religion. What if I were born on the other side of the world, or in Africa? What religion would I be then? What religion would my parents teach me was the right thing to believe? If that is the case and we are told the same, who would be right? It is what you believe to be right. It is about faith, not religion. I just couldn't get over the fact that if I had different parents who taught me to believe something else then I would hold a completely different set of beliefs and would hold convictions with completely different faces. As I grew up I learned that it was about the journey and not the labels; if we strip away all the labels and words we put on things then we can see that it is all the same. All the beliefs are single strands leading to the same end, something bigger. Something more, that is what connects all of us, or so I have come to believe. I have come to the conclusion that faith is the same wherever it is found and it always leads to the recognition of a greater web that connects everything. This centered awareness is the goal of each faith and religion and each of us if we are honest with ourselves. One may call it Allah, another God. They are one in the same and not being able to see that has led to war after war since the beginning of time. Only when we realize that we are all the same on the inside can we start growing and connecting with the world around us in a positive way. Only then can we have that positive impact on the world. 

Jealousy is a very interesting emotion, probably the most interesting not just because of the complexities of it but also because of the so many things it can lead to. Not all of them are good. To me being jealous is like belittling your own joy. Instead of looking at what you have you look outward at someone else, automatically setting yourself up for failure because how can you ever be someone you are not? Even when things are rough we still have things to be joyful about remember, that's the whole point. Hold on to your joy. Hold on to the fact that you are still breathing. That you have a loved one. That you have shelter and food. That you have a job at all. That you have eyes to read and a brain to process your thoughts. When you are looking at all these amazing things you build yourself a life raft to make it through choppy waters and you are able to express that joy outwards towards those around you. It can be rough, I remember growing up being so jealous of all those Abercrombie models and pop stars, why couldn't I have a six pack and blonde hair and big arms? I felt inadequate and ugly for so long, but it drove me to become jealous long before I realized what I was doing. It wasn't just about me not looking like that anymore, it was them looking like that and me never being able to. I wanted to be them so badly and for so long my self-esteem was really messed up because I allowed myself to be influenced by someone else and who they were over who I really was. Being jealous is trying to take other people's joy. I want what you have. I want that job, or that promotion. I want that partner or spouse. I want that body. I want, on and on and on. Thinking these thoughts mean you are actively thinking about taking something from someone else for yourself, even if it is something intangible like control. You want something that is making someone else happy or joyful because you want those feelings for yourself. That doesn't work, it is not only toxic to yourself but harmful to others. Focus on your joy, not someone else's. 

A close relative of jealousy if pride, known to me as "over-inflated joy." Pride is when we take something that brings us joy and we put it on a pedestal to display for others so that we can brag and gloat in order to make ourselves feel like we are adequate and accepted. You are taking something good and corrupting it , which is stupid because in the end the only one hurt is you. When that pride deflates and that ego loses momentum what is there going to be left to help bring you back up again? It isn't always straightforward either, take for example being angry with a coworker after an argument at work and avoiding him or her. Shaking with anger you know you are right and all you can see is that they were wrong, apologizing would mean saying you were wrong and you are better than this person who treated you this way. You know better than him or her, you would never act like that. That over-inflated sense of self refusing to apologize is pride. Not being able to admit when you are wrong, or being able to compromise for the sake of peace, is the same as thinking you are better than everyone else.  Share your joy with others and hold it close for yourself, but not too close. Not so close that you begin to feed it instead of it feeding you. 

Being present and aware in life is important, we can only find joy if we are living in the here and now, but you can't be present when you are narrowly focused on someone else's reality in their own world. Being jealous you force yourself into someone else's joy because you want it for yourself, being prideful forces your joy onto unwilling others. Everyone always says the grass is greener on the other side, but that's because you're looking over the fence and casting a shadow over what you have. Things always look better from someone else's shoes, because we never really know what all comes with those shoes. It is all about perspective and seeing what is before your eyes and seeing what you already have. Try to find the joy in your own life and not someone else's, it will make it a whole lot easier to get what you're looking for in the end. 

Happy Valentine's Day - What Is Love? Why Are We Celebrating?

Happy Valentine's Day!! Today is one of my most favorite days of the whole year because it is one day designated solely to the celebration of love. Where so many people go wrong is either by having a narrow minded view of love or by buying into the commercial hype and excitement and forgetting about the real meaning of the day. When people talk about Hallmark Holidays or how they don't like holidays because they are just made up by companies to make more money I just feel sorry for them. They are already missing the whole point of not just that day but every holiday. The days of our lives are what we make them and the meaning our lives have come from the meaning that we give them. These holidays, such as today, are opportunities for us to take a moment and celebrate something in our lives. We only live once and we only get one shot at each day. Sure, you don't have to do anything today. You can sit at home and ignore your phone and watch movies to distract youself all day or find some other form of self-isolation to pass the time. Of course all that's going to do it isolate you further and make you feel miserable. That's you making yourself miserable, no one and nothing else. 

Or on the flip side you can decide to do something, even if you do stay in. Send a message to your brother or sister on Facebook. Call up your mom or dad. Text a picture to your best friend of both of you from when you first met and tell them how glad you are to have them. Thank the coworker who covers for you when you are late. Buy a coffee for the neighbor girl who leaves for work at the same time, or pay for the persons drink behind you in line and don't say anything. Love takes many shapes and forms, that's why it is universal and what makes it so beautiful. Today isn't about buying cards or candy or going out to dinner or getting laid, it's about celebrating the thing that connects us all - love. Love is joy shown outward. When you engage in the world and become a part of it, and when you learn to find your own personal joy, you can learn to share it by loving others unselfishly and wholeheartedly. We are all leaves on the tree of life, it's time we start acknowledging the fact that we are all connected. Connected in all kinds of different ways.There are many forms of love, today we celebrate them all. Happy Valentine's! 😘❤️🌎

Rule #1

Life Is Never Balck & White

The Joy of Being & Living Free

Today Summertime returned early to Southern California as 80-degree weather and sunshine took over the skies and cast their radiance upon us. We weren't the only ones to notice the surge in energy either, the dogs felt it more than anything. They stay pretty active, but today they got to run free while we stopped in to visit one of our good friends from the neighborhood. Sansa and Dany both love it there, Sansa more so I think because of her playful side. Today she kept running up to our neighbors' chihuahua trying to get her to start a chase around the yard and when she couldn't succeed she would whine and bark until someone came over to play. Her carelessness and happiness struck me more than anything I'd seen in a while. I have always envied dogs, with a good owner all they have to worry about is making it to tomorrow. Their lives are stress-free. Well, not exactly with these two. Both of them, Dany much more so, go manic when left alone too long or when they are away from us for more than a couple hours. It's one of the things I love about them, how close we have become and how safe we can make them feel. Seeing them so happy today made me feel awesome. It was like being reenergized again, recharged. We all need to be more like these dogs in our lives. We need to be more willing to let the shackles that bind us come off; after all, we are the ones who put them there to begin with. Life isn't stressful; it may be difficult but life is life. It is impersonal, the universe allows things to happen at chance and at random. We are the ones who tell ourselves we need to worry about or try and fix things out of our own control. Take a moment and let out a deep breath. If you have a dog take it for a walk and play with him or her, spend time with whatever pet you have. Learn from them; take in their sprit, their energy and their joyful determination. If you don't have a dog then go for a walk in the park or lie in bed and put on your headphones to listen to a rainstorm or bird sounds on your phone, YouTube and Google have an endless supply of resources. Take a moment and relax, breathe and focus on you. Take in the sunshine, it isn't always there to enjoy. Make good use of it. Dogs, our best friends, seem to be able to cast off the shadows and cobwebs of life and bound and leap for joy with no limits. Let's try to be a little more like them and see if our stress doesn't go down even just a bit.  

My Own Personal Joy: Birdsong

Parked in my truck today I had the window rolled down and I was enjoying the nice warm breeze and sunshine when I started to hear birdsong. I wasn't the only one out to soak up the sun, the birds were out in numbers flying around playfully and singing to their hearts content. Few things in nature sound as beautiful as birdsong, especially a duet or chorus of birds seeming to come from every direction. There was one I could hear coming from right close to me. After a few minutes of peaceful watching I found him sitting there plain as day in front of my eyes. It made me grin because it reminded me how there are so many beautiful things in life that we miss because we just don't take the time to take a close enough look. 

Can you see him sitting there among the leaves? The next time you hear a bird song today try to take a minute to stop and see where it's coming from. Take a moment to appreciate the joy that's already there in the world around you. Take some time to notice. 

Find your joy & share it! 

Finding Your Own Personal Joy - The View From The Top

Welcome back! It's been quite a few months now, but they were months well spent. Time flew by in what seemed like only a moment and before I knew it some of the biggest milestones in my life had passed before my eyes and I was already moving along to the next one. Of course in the moment, so often, it feels as if time is crawling by at a pace so achingly slow that it's all we can do to make it day to day. The hard part is seeing the big picture well enough to know that the true meaning in life comes from those day to day moments that we so often forget to cherish.

For as long back as I can possibly remember I have always secretly wished for only one thing in my life, something I never thought would come true. Every birthday wish, every shooting star and every lucky penny was spent asking the universe for a single simple thing. I wanted to get married. It's not exactly how it sounds though. I wanted to be married yes, but I wanted it because that would mean that there was a man out there who loved me so much that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and would always be there with me. I didn't want to be alone, which is what I felt like so often growing up and even in college. I didn't truly have a real date until I was a sophomore in college. In high school I would quietly sit with my back against my locker and my headphones in while reading a book and looking at the couples all around me from the corners of my eyes. I yearned so bad for something like that, even though I knew these relationships were all temporary and almost meaningless I still wanted to know what it felt like to be wanted. I wanted to feel secure and safe.

Every break up I went through tore me apart, the first one being the worst and most violent - another story for another time. Each one sent me into a manic episode lasting from minutes to days. As I got older and my emotions became stronger it seemed as if the strength of my bi-polar swings became more and more. The need and desire to have that feeling of being loved was stronger than ever. I remember the crushing feeling in my chest that made it feel like I couldn't breathe. I ended up in the hospital a few times, the last time being when they adjusted my meds for the last time to get them much more level. There were a lot of up and downs. A lot. I had to learn to love myself and then how to accept love from someone else. It took a lot of work, time and patience - both from me and my now husband. I say all of this only to show how important this milestone has been in my life. From the moment I met my husband in 2011 I knew that we were connected in a way I had never known or felt and couldn't explain except for the electrifying feelings coursing through my veins. At the time I was dating someone else and he was living with me. I just knew though, I don't know how. Walking him out that first night I remember turning the corner in the hallway and asking myself in my head how I was going to get him back over here again because I had to see him no matter what. He made us take it slow and we stayed friends for months, slowly working on becoming the best friends either of us has ever had. That was the best decision we ever made and why to this day we are still the best of friends. 

He proposed when we were visiting my family back in Tennessee, which was perfect, and we got married four years to the day of us meeting in Los Angeles. My wedding was the most beautiful and wonderful day of my life. The whole time I felt numb from disbelief; was this really happening to me? I expected any and everything to go wrong at any moment, but nothing did. It was perfect. Oddly enough I could't stop grinning throughout the entire ceremony and had giggling fits throughout that I couldn't always hide. I mean, what can I say? I was excited, happy and nervous. I wouldn't have changed a thing. We thought we would have only eight guests or so but we ended up with over twenty and while none of my family could make it my best friend from college was my best man as I had the honor to do for him. It was magical. Right after the ceremony we drove straight to Las Vegas and spent a week there for our honeymoon at the Luxor Hotel & Casino. We had a blast and just enjoyed being together and having fun. 

One of the adventures we took while there was a ride on the High Roller Ferris Wheel at midnight in a bar cart. It was a half hour ride in a big fiberglass bubble that went higher than I truly ever wanted to go. I am deathly afraid of heights but I wanted to do something new and exciting that I normally wouldn't. While I did spend the whole time glued to one of the few seats sipping my drink I was able to hold my fear at bay long enough to be awed by the beauty of the city lights and the warmth of my loving husband next to me. I remember sitting there looking out and pushing down that feeling in the pit of my stomach while I tried to focus on picking out different landmarks that I could recognize when it all of a sudden struck me - even though I was scared sh*tless, that didn't mean I couldn't find joy. Like I have always said joy isn't what we have been taught it is; it isn't keeping that smile plastered on your face your whole life and it doesn't mean you can't also feel fear or discouragement or anger at the same time. Besides that, I had the man I had always dreamed of my whole life standing next to me the whole time I was sitting there so scared. Life is a complicated mess of feelings. We just have to find the joy mixed in with everything else and bring it to the surface. We all have our own personal Joy, a limitless joy. Our job in life is to seek out that joy and hold on to it once we find it so that we can live a truly full life. It isn't easy, it takes constant work - but that's life. It's right in front of our eyes, even if obscured or hidden from view. Looking down on the city lights I got to see the city as a whole, the little flaws and marks disappearing from view. I realized then that I could be joyful even with my fear and more than that, it is the principle of joy in life - it's never there just by itself. To have joy we have to have every other piece of the spectrum. Those little things don't look so bad when you take a step back and look at the big picture, even if it's scary to do. Life will never be easy, we have to find our own personal joy in the mess of a life each of us has. Realizing that I finally had every dream I had ever had come true made me see how much I truly have to be joyful for all around me, I just have to open up my eyes. That is our daily job in life. Find your joy, hold on to it and keep it. Then share it. You can't share something you don't have; in order to bring joy into the world and make a difference you first have to find your own joy. That I think should be our newly christened theme for our return:

"Find Your Joy & Share It!"

What does that mean to you? Share!

Twinkling Sparkle

All of my life I have dreamed of one thing; I have kept pushing myself through all the hurt and pain with only one goal in sight, all the while realizing that I may never even reach the absolution I so desired. From the time I was but a young boy I yearned only for the one comfort I knew would make make me feel safe and protected. The thing that would make everything else right, what would finally make me feel whole and complete. I knew from the time I was probably six that I liked boys, the problem was that I never realized that wasn't how I was supposed to feel until years later. I honestly thought that it was normal, I was just like everyone else. It wasn't until my peers reached the age where they started comparing themselves to the standards set around them did I realize that I was different. I remember the feelings of hurt and betrayal when I came to realize that I wasn't like the other boys my age; why didn't everyone else feel this way? It took years and years for me to accept who I was, yet the whole time I never doubted that my feelings were genuine, heart-felt or out of my control. For years after that, after being diagnosed with an incurable disease at seventeen and then soon after being diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I struggled to love myself for who I was and longed only for someone who would love me for me and show me that I was worth being loved. I know those feelings have to come from within, but with my fragile body and broken mind I needed someone special to open me up and show me that not only was I worth it but that I was worth it to him as well. Being bipolar is a difficult struggle to fight, seeing as it is one that will never end, and I longed for those comforting arms that would hold and in turn set me free from from the inside out. 

I remember crying myself to sleep at night thinking that no one would ever love me, that I would never be accepted and that I would never have a normal life. Every birthday wish, every shooting star, all came down to one thing - I wanted my prince to rescue me, shelter me and show me the way. When you are bipolar you can't see the forest through the trees, I needed a map and compass to guide me and keep me on the right and true path. I've only had a handful of relationships in my life, most lasting less than six months, and all of them riddled with problems stemming from my disorder and lack of love for myself. No one else could see through the veil I had spent years putting up, until he could. I don't know what powers in the universe collided but he found me when I wasn't even looking. He stole me away from a man whose heart was darker than pitch and instead of sweeping me off my feet he held my hand and walked with me, getting to know me every step of the way and allowing himself to open up. It takes a truly genuine caring person to be able to deal with the issues I face and I will forever know how lucky I am to have the man who found me. 

He stands by my side even when I am wrong, teaching and guiding me through a world I am ill equipped to handle. I know it's hard on him but he teaches me more and more every day and I see in his eyes and actions the compassion, joy and hope I can feel when he is next to me. I am blessed. Even after all the flaming hoops he has already gone through for me he is still willing to put himself in harm's way just to make sure I am kept safe. Is that not the deifnition of true love? This past weekend, while visiting my family back in Tennessee, the most amazing thing happened. I had a feeling it was coming, and when it did it really blew me off my feet. He asked me if I really wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, if I would marry him. Of course the answer was yes, a resounding yes! More beautiful though, he actually talked to my parents and asked permission to take my hand in marriage. I am speechless even now when it comes to describing how much I love him and how much he means to me. All my life I've wanted to just know that one person wanted me above all else, someone who thought that I was the only one worth having in this world. And here he was. Standing right before me. 

My engagement ring is the most beautiful thing I have ever owned, white gold with diamonds. Yes, diamonds. Since I was a little boy I've wanted just one diamond, not even a big one. I wanted to feel that awesome feeling when someone gives you something so rare and valuable because they think you deserve it. I wanted to be loved. And here I am, ring on my finger and the love of my life by my side. Flying back on the plane I sit here up in the night sky reading "The Fault In Our Stars" and wondering how I have ended up so lucky. I truly never saw this day ever coming. Not in a million years. On top of that the love of my life is loved by not only my parents but my younger brother as well. When I closed my book on the tray table in front of me the light caught my ring and I saw that twinkling sparkle as the diamond's radiance was displayed for all to see. It suddenly struck me - everything I have ever wanted I have right in front of me. I may be far from my family right now but I have my own family here that I am now building. My dreams aren't coming true, they already have. Seeing that twinkle I told myself that it was time to really change. No more games and no more wasting time, my life is here and now and it's time to live the life I've always wanted. It's still going to be hard, but I have my amazing fiancé to guide me and help me along. And I have my ring to remind me for always just how bright our love can shine and sparkle. I vowed to myself to remember that fact wherever I may be and whatever may be going on. When I see that sparkle and shine it should be a reminder that my dreams are here and I have no more reason to be afraid. I got the thing I wanted most in this world, now there's no reason on heaven or earth to waste another moment stressing out about things that will happen no matter what through every walk of life no matter who you may be. That diamond is more than just a representation of the infinite strength of our love, it is a symbol to remind me that none of that small stuff matters anymore. The little things aren't worth worrying over, life isn't worth worrying over. Life is here and now, like a diamond twinkling in the light; life will always have its bright spots - you just have to look the right way and catch it in the right light to see them, but I promise they are always there. For me my biggest bright spot is the love of my life, something my ring reminds me of every time it reflects the light already shining all around. 

Pruning The Palms

I don't know why but my favorite scissors are the long metal old fashioned ones, just like the ones from art class. I love the smoothness and how they feel in my hand. Even more I love how perfectly they can cut through almost anything. It's important in life to remember that our plants aren't the only things that need pruning. Our lives are filled with excess; excess time, excess involvements and even excess friends. Sometimes there are people that we just have to cut ourselves away from in order to keep ourselves healthy, happy and thriving. It doesn't mean you can't help someone when they really need it, but it's about taking the things out of your life that are dragging you down and holding you back. Removing those barriers to joy in your life is a power that belongs solely to you. A good example that I see everyday is that of the palm trees that grow all around and line almost every street. There are some trees that look terrible because no one has trimmed the dead fronds that hang from top to bottom of the tree. It looks as if every palm frond ever grown still hangs limply against the still healthy trunk. It looks bad. Then there's the tree next to it, or across the street, that doesn't have any dead gray fronds and looks healthy and thriving. Those are the nice ones, the healthy ones. The strong ones. There are times in life that we must let things go. The key is to continually be casually on the lookout for things in your life that drag you down or discourage you in any way. Things that stand in the way of your path to joy. Those obstacles must be removed. Before we can do that though we must first identify what we are dealing with. Take some time and think about your life and things that you are worried about. Are there things that you can take out of your life? Is there somewhere you can cut back and instead do something you want with someone you love. Remember we only have one shot at this one life. Don't waste time letting excess baggage accumulate and weigh you down so that even if you are growing you won't be able to see it. 

Finding Joy In The Unknown & Unexpected

Flexibility. Adaptability. Remaining calm and in control. Professional. I have always had problems with these. Always, it's like a disease that has plagued me forever. Something I am constantly working to fix and learn to control. Learning how to control my feelings has taken me quite a long time and there are still many times where I lose that control. But I do my best, that's all I can do. That and I just keep trying. Trying to control my reactions to sudden change of any kind is very difficult for me. When I am caught off guard it's like all my walls, good and bad, align to momentarily open a path right for the heart. When something sudden happens I, most of the time, don't have my partner with me to help control my emotions. I am left up to my own devices, and it's something I could still use some help with. Everyday I keep trying, it's the only thing to do.

Catching me off guard is like triggering pent up lava and just watching for the explosion, whether outwards or inwards. It's the one thing I would change about myself if I could. I am learning to control stress in my day to day life and I am doing much better now than I was ten years ago. My weakness, that I am at least aware of, is when I get surprised. I don't deal well at all. At work I am mostly under control but there are times when things spring up or something doesn't go the way it was supposed to and I pretty much freak out. It's not as bad as it is at home, but I tend to start talking really fast and really loud as I get more excited. The worst part is that I don't even notice when I'm doing it. People think I am responding with anger when I am only trying to talk or answer a question, but since I am pumped up with adrenaline I don't realize how I talk. Afterwards, when I realize what I've done, I feel terrible. Terrible. It bothers me for days and I hate it. That's not me. I don't want people to think it is. I also don't want to jeopardize a job I love because I don't realize how worked up I can get. 

At home it is even worse. Sometimes there's not even a reason for my explosions. Sometimes there's a trigger and sometimes I just get overwhelmed with emotion. I hate not being able to always control myself. I hate the way I talk to my partner, especially when he is trying to go out of his way to take care of me and look out for me. I don't deserve the way he cares for me. But I also know that without him I would not be able to survive. I would not be able to cope. People like me need people like him. But I also have to learn to treat the people I love, who are taking their time to care for me, with more kindness. I hope he knows I don't mean it, I never do. I have to work though to constantly show him that I am not that person and that I am able to change. Not just for me, but for him and us. 

Even small things in life that pop up, like having to schedule a doctor's appointment or making a call to the insurance company, are overwhelming. The smallest things make me stress and overreact. I get overwhelmed and I can't handle it. The surprise and shock are too much for me. It flips my switch. Without my partner I wouldn't be able to do things like going to the store, paying bills, picking up medicine and on and on. Even going to a doctor's appointment is most of the time enough to get me going. The point is, I don't handle it well right now and it's not healthy. It's not good for me. It makes me miserable and unhappy. The only thing I know to do is practice and work at it with the people who support me. I don't know what else there is. I have to learn how to handle this better, and I have to hold on to that tightly. 

Slowly I am improving and getting better. Last night I was at the pharmacy and my credit card was acting up and there was a long line and I was frustrated. When I went back outside to use my phone my partner came with me. I could feel the fumes boiling underneath but I held it down. I could feel the part of me that wanted to snap or be angry or say something mean because I was so frustrated and felt like I couldn't handle all these changes and sudden occurrences. Instead I talked to my partner with a calm even tone and explained to him what happened and what I was doing. It was hard swallowing it down and keeping it there but afterwards I felt so much better. I didn't have that horrific guilt of treating my soul mate and best friend with contempt and annoyance. I never want to feel that again, and I don't want him to either. It was a small silly step, but to me it was a major victory that showed me that I could do it. It will be hard and take hard work but I can do it. That's all I need, to know I can get there. Of course I'll have my support and my best friend to help carry me when I need it. It's a battle, but one I have to fight to keep my sanity and joy. A fight I cannot back down from anymore. 

Life is like stairs , they are always going to curve around a bend or corner to continue on into shadow, into the unknown. Even when the horizon is straight ahead with nothing but open fields around us the road still disappears into the distance. Because of that unknown we have to always be prepared for the stairs to suddenly turn left or right or up or down as soon as we turn around the looming corner. Or it could keep going smoothly. The point is we can't know. Moreso there are potholes and bumps in the road that we don't see until we have fallen victim to them. How we respond to those inevitable accidents decides how much joy we allow in our lives. It's up to us how we weather this tough and surprising road, this precarious journey. Grab life by the horns and demand the joy you want and deserve. Be ready for the twists and turns in life, that's when you're joy is tested the most. Stay strong, stay committed, stay joyful. 

Brush Yourself Off

I made it through today; a small yet noble victory for me. With our licensing survey finishing at work, potential clients visiting, investigations, appointments and so much more I thought I was going to lose it today. On this ten hour day I really believed my nerves were going to just burn themselves out. Of course I had my partner coaching me along through iMessage all day long. I made a decision on my own though to throw it all out the window. I literally took all day today minute by minute. I only made sure all the paperwork was done and then just started in with no hesitations, look backs or flash forwards. It was like every minute hit the restart button. I have been trying to do this for years and I have never been able to truly master it before now. Maybe it was because of the stress, my support, my situation or a combination of all three. Whatever it was, I took it and ran. I used that fuel to keep me going today when all I wanted to do was give up and collapse in the corner. I know it will still be difficult but now I know that I can do it. No excuses. 

I don't know how it happened. I just know that it worked. You have to just push those thoughts and worries out of your mind. You already know they aren't realistic anyway, it's just too hard to push them away. So take it one minute at a time. Literally. Just focus on what you have to do right now and don't think about anything else. I realized today that by doing that you not only prevent yourself from a lot of pain and anguish but you also allow yourself to truly live. Live life in the moment the way it is meant to be lived and enjoyed. In life spiderwebs are everywhere, in the corners, the bushes or the trees. They spring up overnight and can tangle us up without us even seeing what's happening. Those twisted traps are made sticky, so as to cling on and suck the life right from us. It's up to us to admit when we are caught and have the integrity and courage to brush ourselves off and keep going like normal. Because it is normal. Life is normal, because there isn't such thing as normal. Life is random and crazy and wild and unpredictable. We have to keep our eyes open and guard up so that when those problems blindly try to tear us down we can see them for what they are and move on. There will always be spiderwebs. Everyday a new one, or maybe two new ones. The more we let things bother us the more those cobwebs build up until we have wrapped ourselves in our own cocoon of misery. Stop it before it happens, stop it when you feel it starting and get rid of the cobwebs caught up in your hair and on your leg and everywhere else. Brush it off and keep going. There isn't any other choice except misery. Do you have any cobwebs stuck to you, demons you are carrying around? Take a second and really think. You can make your life better, easier, more productive and more joyful. The choice is yours.

A New Token

This little guy I found at the museum last night in the gift shop. Standing not even half an inch tall, it resembles a perfect miniature skull. It's black with some white veins and so smooth to the touch that it's almost like glass. I carry it with my tiny little stone heart in my pocket. It's a reminder. A reminder that I am the one in control of my own fate, my own destiny. It's up to me to do something if I want something done, and I don't have forever to do it. Time, as life, is limited. Whenever I reach in my pockets when I'm getting the keys to my truck or my chap stick or I am sitting at my desk at work I will have a constant little reminder. A reminder of how I should be living my life. Joy is something we work for and hold on to, give yourself something to physically hold and you'll be sure to recall the strength you need. 

Through Closing Doors

Life is a journey filled with doors, doors that open up to whole new worlds and adventures and doors that either open up to nothing or are closed shut tight enough to seal them off for a lifetime. It's important that you know which doors are open to you and which ones should be closed. Our lives are merely a combination of the doors we've opened and the repercussions that always come along. We can always stay stagnant or we can constantly challenge ourselves to evolve and grow. When you see a door you want or one you feel is right and it's open to you don't hesitate. So many times in life doors that were meant for us close before we can make it through. Some doors have long spanning windows and most are only open for a brief second. We have to always be alert and have our hearts and minds open to new experiences seeking us out. Just as important, we have to be alert for the doors that deceive us and lead nowhere. Or the doors that will never open because they were never meant for us. Running into a closed door can be painful and traumatic, but remind yourself that while this door closes another opens. You may not be able to see it now, but it's there I promise. Later you'll look back and laugh at your foolishness. That's life. It's door after door after door, ceaseless and never ending. It seems sometimes like the doors we are struggling at were never meant to be opened anyway. A flat concrete wall with nothing but a stone frame. Don't deceive yourself when your losing or down and out, realize that's not your door and get up off your ass and find yours. 

Walk With Hope

We all have struggles that are both real and terrifying. Each of us has a different path, but we can always count on roadblocks and hurdles on any path we take. How we deal with those obstacles is what decides who we are to become as a person. This picture popped up on Facebook last night and really touched me. The joy the little boy has on his face is contagious. If he can look at his situation and be happy and proud there's no reason we as adults can't do the same. Yes it may be hard, but do you think it was easy for this little man? Who do you admire or look up to for the way they deal with problems, stress and roadblocks?