A Little Patience Goes A Long Way - We Are The Only Ones HoldingOurselves Back

Every day is filled with thousands of moments and thousands of interactions with the world around us. Most of those moments won't go the way we planned, but why would they? We can't control the future, we can only control how we react and adapt to things. We have so many interactions every single day, from the time we wake up to the time we go to sleep; we are constantly interacting with others. From your family to your friends to the people you work with to the strangers you run into on the street and out in public; we can't go through life without coming into contact with others. Even when we isolate ourselves, whether from fear, depression and anger, we can't cut ourselves off completely. You have to earn a living or make money somehow, even if it's just some kind of financial aide you still have to deal with offices and phone calls and forms galore. Even when we lock ourselves in our apartment to play video games we can't stand the thought of being alone so much that we now have headsets wired into the controllers in order to talk to other gamers. Phone calls, chats, texts, conversations - they are all forms of communication and interaction.

With our ever expanding technology we are constantly being connected in new and different ways to the people and world around us. From Facebook and Facebook Messenger to the iCloud & iMessage, with each passing generation we become more and more interlinked with the world. The internet makes it possible to form those bonds and links across borders and oceans. Our bubble has expanded from minuscule to global in only a few short decades. Along with that have come a whole new world and set of interactions and communications allowing the kinds of relationships that were never possible in the past. It makes you wonder where things will go next. 

Because this is still new to our species we are still adapting to it, it's meaning and its implications. Our own laws have trouble keeping up with things and our lawmakers and elected officials are paid to make sure that our laws stay current and applicable. If we can't even govern ourselves congruently then do we ourselves as individuals have any hope of navigating this messy and evolving world on our own? Of course we do, things are never as complicated as they seem. Our minds and society like to make things over complicated to trick us. One trick is due to its over analyzing and over thinking trying to do the right thing while the other plays with only winning and deceit in mind.  The trick is to not let yourself get lost in the chaos and the background noise over what is really important.
Whether we choose to accept it or not, the truth is that whenever we interact with someone it has an impact on us - positive or negative or somewhere in-between. We have a majority of control over whether these experiences benefit us our harm us, we just have to be aware of this power that we hold or we will never be able to yield it. Sometimes the effect is small and hardly noticeable and sometimes its much bigger than that. Remember back on those times you had a bad experience with some stranger in public, whether at a sporting event, movie theatre, park, mall or wherever else. Whether it was a glare that just rubbed you the wrong way or negative words exchanged the effect can be the same. It carries over into the rest of your day and ruins the joy you are trying so hard to cultivate and hold on to.
In the hurry of our day to day life it is easy to forget the value of a little patience. We get so caught up in our busy schedules and hectic lives that we often overlook the fact that by just slowing down and taking a minute to breathe we can not only positively change our own day but someone else's as well. All day long we are faced with stressors and annoyances that we can either let rub us the wrong way or we can shrug off and keep moving. Patience is a virtue, one that is too hard for most of us to even consider tying to tackle. The trick though comes in just letting go. Letting go of the illusion of control you think you have, letting go of the control you think you have on the world around you. Patience means accepting the world around you and allowing it to work in its own time to process things and bring about change. This doesn't mean they we can't stand up and help or give an extra push here or there though. 

What about that moment this morning when someone pulled out in front of you on the freeway or when someone cut in front of you in line at the Post Office? Sometimes it's hard to be patient with the world around you when it seems like nothing is going your way and everything is working against you. This is when it is important to realize and remember that there isn't anything you can do to change  your situation except to stay strong and keep pushing on. There is no giving up, there is no letting yourself or anyone else down. We are all in a hurry most of the time, our society teaches us that the only way to get anything done is in a hurry flying by the edge of your seat. Rarely do we ever take a moment to take a deep breath and enjoy this precious time we have been given. We get so wrapped up in the act of living that we forget to actually live. 

Rushing throughout our days we honk at the drivers that cut us off and grumble at the people that cut us in line at Starbucks. We grumble when someone takes the last sandwich at the company picnic and we curse the suck up who beat us for employee of the month. This thinking and course of actions only serve to hurt both us and the people around us. When we are impatient we allow two things to happen, we give others our permission to start tearing us down and we give ourselves permission to hold it against them. How does that help anyone? It doesn't. It helps no one. It leaves you open to being hurt and being torn down. We have enough stressful things that go on in our daily lives, we have to do what we can to make things better than they were before. 

When you scream at the person annoying you or flip them off as you walk or drive by does it really make you feel better or does it just release some pent up anger and frustration? We plant the seeds that grow into what our lives are to become. Those seeds sprout and grow and are carried along on our back as we go throughout our day. After countless interactions all day long, how do we really feel at the end of the day? Do we feel annoyed and stressed or do we feel calm and at peace? Most of the time it's the former. We let these little things get under our skin and tear us apart from the inside out. When we lose our patience it only hurts us and only serves to drive anger into our daily lives that we will carry with us and allow to eat us from the inside out. Those little snaps, the flashes of anger and frustration no matter how small, build up and stay with us throughout the day and have more of an effect that we know. That irritation stays with us and clings to us for the rest of the day. Instead we have to choose patience, choose the path of least resistance; the path of joy is what leads to progress, not the path to hate. 

We have moment after moment all day long to show patience and kindness to those around us. Let the driver pull in front of you, let the pedestrian cross the crosswalk, open the door for someone who's hands are full, let someone else take your spot in the elevator - the possibilities are endless. So often we are in such a hurry that we forget to be aware of what is going on around us. By having a little patience we can be an example and really show some joy to someone who probably isn't even expecting it. Being patient isn't just for ourselves, it's for the world around us. Being patient is like keeping yourself open in order to spread joy and hope openly to those around you. Patience is more of a gift than a virtue, and the rewards are immeasurable. We are the only ones holding ourselves back, we are the ones who decide how we act in the world and how we treat other people. This past weekend I spend time with my husband at the LA Waterfront in Long Beach, CA and we had a really good time. My favorite spot was along part of the boardwalk where there were 5 old anchors on display all around the planks for people to study and see. These old anchors, once lodged at the bottom of the ocean, now stand here for all to see. These beautiful nautical treasures reminded me of what we as humans are trying so often to achieve - balance and equality. Each of us has our own anchor, or set of anchors, that we use to keep us safe and grounded in rough times. When the sea starts to swell we all need something to hold on to. It is the same with patience and interacting with others, we have the things that keep us grounded in life and we must do all that we can to hold on to them and draw strength. Having those tow-cables and anchors help guide us when we feel lost and help slow us down enough to think clearly and with patience. In order to do this though we first have to find our anchor or anchors that keep us grounded. The only one holding us back is ourselves, but that isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes the anchors we hold on to help keep us from losing ground and floating back out to sea. Be patient, take your time today, hold on to your anchors and let them guide you. They are holding you at a certain point for a reason. Open yourself up and live life grounded enough to see that when you are patient all that you desire will eventually come your way.