Reduce, Reuse = Recycle

I found this the other day when I was parking in a parking structure in Burbank, California. I saw the sign at first and glanced at it but I didn't really get what it was saying and I didn't have time to stop and go back. I couldn't stop thinking about it afterwards though and when I was finished and came back I took some time to explore and look around. I was curious about what was there around those concrete pillars and walls. Silly I know but something about it just stuck out to me as something neat and interesting and worth looking into. Something that showed mankind investing back into the world it had created in a positive way, or so I hoped. When I got back to the structure I looked at the sign. The boulders that are found all over and on both sides are actually repurposed from the Burbank landfill. It's kind of cool, to take something from an area of waste and putting it to good use where it actually looks good too. It reduces waste and reuses it at the same time, repurposing at its finest. The stones are filled in to imitate the actual California environment. That combined with the native draught-resistant plants makes this garden more than ideal. It requires less upkeep, it will stay nicer longer, it is more ecological friendly and it was done by reusing old waste products. That is seriously really cool. 

The City of Burbank Water & Power company did something inventive and smart, it is a Demonstration Garden to show just how effective they can be. That is what we constantly are, Demonstration Gardens, always showing to others and ourselves the potential that we know we have within. Sometimes it shines brightly through and sometimes it doesn't. Those times are when we really have to hold on to our Joy and what it means to us. We reduce and reuse by taking all of our past and letting it go. We don't just pretend it doesn't exist, we just have to deal with it and move on because in the end there is no way to go back in time and change things. There will never be a way. Deal with everything and don't let that waste, anger, stress, bile, depression build up until it has nowhere left o go except out - or inwards towards yourself. Use those mistakes and bad things and make them Joyful, you learned and survived and moved on. That really is something. Take the Joy you find with you and carry it with you throughout life, leaving gardens for you to visit from time to time when you need to moments. We are always demonstrating because we are never the same, always presenting something new and something exciting. Life is never the same, which is what makes it amazing. But that also means we can't go back in time either. We have to keep moving forward, stay strong and stay Joyful. Don't let things hurt you or weigh you down, let them make you stronger and then cast them to the side. 

A Little Patience Goes A Long Way - We Are The Only Ones HoldingOurselves Back

Every day is filled with thousands of moments and thousands of interactions with the world around us. Most of those moments won't go the way we planned, but why would they? We can't control the future, we can only control how we react and adapt to things. We have so many interactions every single day, from the time we wake up to the time we go to sleep; we are constantly interacting with others. From your family to your friends to the people you work with to the strangers you run into on the street and out in public; we can't go through life without coming into contact with others. Even when we isolate ourselves, whether from fear, depression and anger, we can't cut ourselves off completely. You have to earn a living or make money somehow, even if it's just some kind of financial aide you still have to deal with offices and phone calls and forms galore. Even when we lock ourselves in our apartment to play video games we can't stand the thought of being alone so much that we now have headsets wired into the controllers in order to talk to other gamers. Phone calls, chats, texts, conversations - they are all forms of communication and interaction.

With our ever expanding technology we are constantly being connected in new and different ways to the people and world around us. From Facebook and Facebook Messenger to the iCloud & iMessage, with each passing generation we become more and more interlinked with the world. The internet makes it possible to form those bonds and links across borders and oceans. Our bubble has expanded from minuscule to global in only a few short decades. Along with that have come a whole new world and set of interactions and communications allowing the kinds of relationships that were never possible in the past. It makes you wonder where things will go next. 

Because this is still new to our species we are still adapting to it, it's meaning and its implications. Our own laws have trouble keeping up with things and our lawmakers and elected officials are paid to make sure that our laws stay current and applicable. If we can't even govern ourselves congruently then do we ourselves as individuals have any hope of navigating this messy and evolving world on our own? Of course we do, things are never as complicated as they seem. Our minds and society like to make things over complicated to trick us. One trick is due to its over analyzing and over thinking trying to do the right thing while the other plays with only winning and deceit in mind.  The trick is to not let yourself get lost in the chaos and the background noise over what is really important.
Whether we choose to accept it or not, the truth is that whenever we interact with someone it has an impact on us - positive or negative or somewhere in-between. We have a majority of control over whether these experiences benefit us our harm us, we just have to be aware of this power that we hold or we will never be able to yield it. Sometimes the effect is small and hardly noticeable and sometimes its much bigger than that. Remember back on those times you had a bad experience with some stranger in public, whether at a sporting event, movie theatre, park, mall or wherever else. Whether it was a glare that just rubbed you the wrong way or negative words exchanged the effect can be the same. It carries over into the rest of your day and ruins the joy you are trying so hard to cultivate and hold on to.
In the hurry of our day to day life it is easy to forget the value of a little patience. We get so caught up in our busy schedules and hectic lives that we often overlook the fact that by just slowing down and taking a minute to breathe we can not only positively change our own day but someone else's as well. All day long we are faced with stressors and annoyances that we can either let rub us the wrong way or we can shrug off and keep moving. Patience is a virtue, one that is too hard for most of us to even consider tying to tackle. The trick though comes in just letting go. Letting go of the illusion of control you think you have, letting go of the control you think you have on the world around you. Patience means accepting the world around you and allowing it to work in its own time to process things and bring about change. This doesn't mean they we can't stand up and help or give an extra push here or there though. 

What about that moment this morning when someone pulled out in front of you on the freeway or when someone cut in front of you in line at the Post Office? Sometimes it's hard to be patient with the world around you when it seems like nothing is going your way and everything is working against you. This is when it is important to realize and remember that there isn't anything you can do to change  your situation except to stay strong and keep pushing on. There is no giving up, there is no letting yourself or anyone else down. We are all in a hurry most of the time, our society teaches us that the only way to get anything done is in a hurry flying by the edge of your seat. Rarely do we ever take a moment to take a deep breath and enjoy this precious time we have been given. We get so wrapped up in the act of living that we forget to actually live. 

Rushing throughout our days we honk at the drivers that cut us off and grumble at the people that cut us in line at Starbucks. We grumble when someone takes the last sandwich at the company picnic and we curse the suck up who beat us for employee of the month. This thinking and course of actions only serve to hurt both us and the people around us. When we are impatient we allow two things to happen, we give others our permission to start tearing us down and we give ourselves permission to hold it against them. How does that help anyone? It doesn't. It helps no one. It leaves you open to being hurt and being torn down. We have enough stressful things that go on in our daily lives, we have to do what we can to make things better than they were before. 

When you scream at the person annoying you or flip them off as you walk or drive by does it really make you feel better or does it just release some pent up anger and frustration? We plant the seeds that grow into what our lives are to become. Those seeds sprout and grow and are carried along on our back as we go throughout our day. After countless interactions all day long, how do we really feel at the end of the day? Do we feel annoyed and stressed or do we feel calm and at peace? Most of the time it's the former. We let these little things get under our skin and tear us apart from the inside out. When we lose our patience it only hurts us and only serves to drive anger into our daily lives that we will carry with us and allow to eat us from the inside out. Those little snaps, the flashes of anger and frustration no matter how small, build up and stay with us throughout the day and have more of an effect that we know. That irritation stays with us and clings to us for the rest of the day. Instead we have to choose patience, choose the path of least resistance; the path of joy is what leads to progress, not the path to hate. 

We have moment after moment all day long to show patience and kindness to those around us. Let the driver pull in front of you, let the pedestrian cross the crosswalk, open the door for someone who's hands are full, let someone else take your spot in the elevator - the possibilities are endless. So often we are in such a hurry that we forget to be aware of what is going on around us. By having a little patience we can be an example and really show some joy to someone who probably isn't even expecting it. Being patient isn't just for ourselves, it's for the world around us. Being patient is like keeping yourself open in order to spread joy and hope openly to those around you. Patience is more of a gift than a virtue, and the rewards are immeasurable. We are the only ones holding ourselves back, we are the ones who decide how we act in the world and how we treat other people. This past weekend I spend time with my husband at the LA Waterfront in Long Beach, CA and we had a really good time. My favorite spot was along part of the boardwalk where there were 5 old anchors on display all around the planks for people to study and see. These old anchors, once lodged at the bottom of the ocean, now stand here for all to see. These beautiful nautical treasures reminded me of what we as humans are trying so often to achieve - balance and equality. Each of us has our own anchor, or set of anchors, that we use to keep us safe and grounded in rough times. When the sea starts to swell we all need something to hold on to. It is the same with patience and interacting with others, we have the things that keep us grounded in life and we must do all that we can to hold on to them and draw strength. Having those tow-cables and anchors help guide us when we feel lost and help slow us down enough to think clearly and with patience. In order to do this though we first have to find our anchor or anchors that keep us grounded. The only one holding us back is ourselves, but that isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes the anchors we hold on to help keep us from losing ground and floating back out to sea. Be patient, take your time today, hold on to your anchors and let them guide you. They are holding you at a certain point for a reason. Open yourself up and live life grounded enough to see that when you are patient all that you desire will eventually come your way. 

Anger Not Only Destroys You, But The World Around You

Anger is something we all must deal with, a toxic disease that spreads like wildfire. Something that a lot of times isn't even under our control once it gets started. Frustration is a way of life, nothing is ever going to go exactly how we planned. We must learn to be fluid and flexible and adaptable or we will only suffer under the stress and weight of anger and guilt. When we hold anger in we only destroy ourselves, and when we express anger in the wrong way we hurt all of those around us. The hard part comes when we can't even tell what we are doing. Anger is irrational, you're making yourself upset over something you can't change now whatever it is. All you can do is learn to adapt. You have no control over your surroundings, and there are going to be so many times that those surroundings provoke a negative response from you. My problem comes because I carry my anger inside and don't let it out or talk to anyone about it and then it just boils over in one big mess. By that time I have no control over what I am saying or doing, my thoughts race and rational thinking is out the window. Once that starts it becomes very hard to catch myself because how can you catch yourself when you can't even think right? The trick is catching those thoughts when they first pop up and dealing with them then, or taking the time to deal with them before they become something unmanageable and you get even more upset. 

There are so many outlets out there. I love to write, it's a way I let go of all the stress and anger inside. Sometimes though that isn't enough. I need something to release before it explodes. I've found one good thing is walking or hiking. Use some energy and get outside. Clear your mind and release some endorphins. Go by yourself and reflect and meditate or go with a friend or partner. The key is to get it out. Express how you feel in a way you can control, that way your emotions will never control you. For me, when the anger really gets going the only thing that makes it better is getting a tattoo. I always get things that have obvious importance to me, but something about the pain of the needle and the release is intoxicating. After my two tattoos last night I felt like a weight was off my chest and shoulders. I was walking down Sunset Boulevard on air and this morning when I woke up I wasn't angry or frustrated at all. I haven't been in a bad mood all day because I don't have those pent up feelings anymore. I decided to get the Cancer constellation, the stars in the sky when I was born, and the symbol for mindfulness on my wrist. I found the mindfulness symbol just yesterday but it is so perfect. I've wasted most of my life, I never live in the present because I am constantly worried or stressed about what has or what will happen. I needed something to remind me to stay in the here and now. So I put it right under the word Joy because I thought true Joy can only come with mindfulness. I used the pain to help channel all the anger and frustration I've been feeling lately. I must say that I feel so much better now, and that mindfulness symbol has really had an impact on my thinking. 

Here's what the symbol means:

"This symbol is presented like a physical representation of present moment.

Vertical forms represent time – past and future. Horizontal forms represent space – 360 degrees. And the one is always in the center – being here and now – perfect equanimity.

Secondly, you can see a symbol of a water drop. This is the most often used metaphor to represent the idea of mindfulness. Only this water drop symbol is presented in a kind of mirrored way. But do not think about it, because as mentioned above, this is time – past and future, both are illusions, stay centered in the present."

http://www.radicalcourse.com/here-and-now-symbol-present-moment-awareness/

How perfect and how amazing. I knew it was the right choice. The whole time I was sitting there I was channeling all my negative thoughts and feelings through that tiny needle. While you may not like pain or be able to tolerate needles, look for and find something that speaks to you. Get those negative thoughts out before they poison you. Talk to someone, talk to your dog, talk to youself. Find a way to remind yourself to be mindful and present in the here and now because one thing is for sure, with bottled up anger there is no room for joy and no chance of healing. 

Guilt Is Selfish

My biggest flaw in life is probably the fact that I create so much anxiety and stress for myself that I lose focus on what is staring me right in the face - the present. Today I couldn't stop stressing about a situation I was going through and something that happened, specifically someone else's reaction to me and my reaction to theirs. Does that make sense? Anyway, getting into my truck this afternoon it hit me like a ton of bricks - all this over-analyzing and worry doesn't affect anyone else except me. I could finally see that all the anxiety that I create for myself is a form of guilt because all I am doing is going over and over something that happened to me, something that obviously bothered me. You see, when you are sure of your actions you don't go back over them again and again questioning yourself time after time. It is only when you have doubt about your actions that you look back, and then as well if you feel bad about your part in how a situation turned out. If you felt you had done everything right there would be no need for you to doubt yourself. That guilt that we drag along everywhere with us is for one person only, ourselves. Everyone else keeps on living their life and yet we find ourselves stuck and upset, stuck of our own volition. Guilt serves only to weigh us down and yet we seem to continue to create our own cages. Guilt is selfish and focuses only on how you feel about a mistake or conflict. It's like someone told me today, if you spend all your time in the past or worrying about what could happen in the future you really do lose out on today. People can go their whole lives never being alive because they can never learn to just be in the moment. That's another whole idea and living in the moment is a topic that can be explored infinitely, for another time. Right now it's important to make yourself realize that guilt is toxic and eats us from the inside out. Guilt is a metal gate blocking our way on the staircase up, a gate put there by us. We have the key to it already, the tough part is realizing not just that you put the gate there but that you are also the only person who can open it. Catch yourself when you are looking back with question or regret and stop - live in the now. Focus on what's actually happening around you at this moment in time. That's what living is. And what makes that so damn precious? The fact that our time to live is limited and infitismal in comparison to the big picture of everyone and everything. 

Anger Is A Poison Of Our Own Creation

Lately I've started having a problem with anger issues again. While I do mean the anger directed outwards towards others, I mean more so the anger that we hold within - whether towards ourselves or regarding someone around us. Anger is like a poison that rots us from the inside out. While, for a time, it may fuel our thoughts and actions it is only an illusion that soon begins to destroy as it uses our own drive to fuel it's destruction. Anger tricks us into thinking that it comes from someone else's actions when in reality it comes from our own frustration at not getting things the way we wanted. An important note here is to remember that we are never always going to get the things that we want. We have to learn to accept and expect it. Only by going into life knowing that things may or may not go our way are we able to truly cope with the outcomes of our reality. Life isn't about always winning, it's about living.
After having to make some tough life choices and cut certain people out of my life lately I have been really upset. Upset that I had to do it to begin with, angry that they left me with no choice and frustrated that I couldn't stop thinking about it. Did I really make the right decision? Should I just have let this or let that slide? Should I have just turned a deaf ear and blind eye again? Why was I feeling guilty for standing up for something I believed in? It was driving me crazy, a slowly boiling kettle with no spout to let out steam. When I woke up it was one of the first things on my mind, and it plagued the background of my thoughts throughout the day. It took over, it became everything. A distraction I couldn't escape from. It was destroying me. I was letting it destory me, I was the one putting the fuel on the fire. 

If hate is the absence of joy then anger is the precursor to hate and therefore the warning flag that tells us when we are getting too close to the edge and need to back off. Anger is a human emotion, and we are all human. We will all get angry sometimes, the point where that anger becomes toxic is when it begins to cloud our judgement and dictate our actions. A life of joy is one that is not free of anger but instead not controlled by it. It's ok to feel that way about certain things, experiencing all parts of life is part of being alive, but unchecked anger serves only to eat away at our own joy and chance at a positive and meaningful life. It's like when you're walking at the park and there's that one tree that's just barely hanging on, or better yet just the stump that remains with the middle eaten and picked away at as the rot sets in. There's no doubt as to the reason why the tree is no longer standing, now it serves no other purpose than a shelter for weeds and grass to thrive. We can allow anger to eat away the core of our joyfulness and our selves or we can recognize its feeling and then push it to the side as only but a small fraction of our human response to any given situation. It is up to us whether or not we are poisoned by the monster of our own creation.