Pruning The Palms

I don't know why but my favorite scissors are the long metal old fashioned ones, just like the ones from art class. I love the smoothness and how they feel in my hand. Even more I love how perfectly they can cut through almost anything. It's important in life to remember that our plants aren't the only things that need pruning. Our lives are filled with excess; excess time, excess involvements and even excess friends. Sometimes there are people that we just have to cut ourselves away from in order to keep ourselves healthy, happy and thriving. It doesn't mean you can't help someone when they really need it, but it's about taking the things out of your life that are dragging you down and holding you back. Removing those barriers to joy in your life is a power that belongs solely to you. A good example that I see everyday is that of the palm trees that grow all around and line almost every street. There are some trees that look terrible because no one has trimmed the dead fronds that hang from top to bottom of the tree. It looks as if every palm frond ever grown still hangs limply against the still healthy trunk. It looks bad. Then there's the tree next to it, or across the street, that doesn't have any dead gray fronds and looks healthy and thriving. Those are the nice ones, the healthy ones. The strong ones. There are times in life that we must let things go. The key is to continually be casually on the lookout for things in your life that drag you down or discourage you in any way. Things that stand in the way of your path to joy. Those obstacles must be removed. Before we can do that though we must first identify what we are dealing with. Take some time and think about your life and things that you are worried about. Are there things that you can take out of your life? Is there somewhere you can cut back and instead do something you want with someone you love. Remember we only have one shot at this one life. Don't waste time letting excess baggage accumulate and weigh you down so that even if you are growing you won't be able to see it. 

The Curving Archways Towering Overhead

Besides walking through doors and grabbing at opportunity, we pass under a countless number of arches in our lifetimes. By hard work and dedication you can influence where your pathway leads and through which archways you pass through. We will always pass underneath those curved and vaulted ceilings, it is just a part of life. We can't always bask in the warm glow of the sun. Then again they can protect us from the wintery cold, and after too long in the heat everyone needs a break. The shade they provide can give us a respite and chance to heal and reflect or it can be a place of dark depression and isolation. It is up to us whether we are joyful or not. 

The difference between a door and an archway is the amount of resistance we get back. A door can be closed, whether locked or open. Running into that door can slow you down a lot. Even the doors that are open to us aren't always open all the way, it takes some effort on our part as well. This slows us down and takes time. With an archway there is no resistance, just an opening to be thrown or swept through. 

Many times we end up stumbling or falling through without even realizing we are passing underneath anything at all. Think of those stone archways you've seen, they are everywhere. There are the famous ones like the one in Paris and there are the normal ones that seem to blend in with everyday life. Archways are everywhere, even in nature. Maybe it's the strength of it's shape or the way it seems to grow organically as two living things become one. Nature tends to make it's own archways in it's journey of growth. Natural arches are my favorite, they are so beautiful because they are so thriving, organic and living. Nature can seem to come together to form tunnels as well. What is a tunnel if not an arch extending onward? If you have ever been in a tunnel, whether a small one made by someone you know or a huge one excavated and outfitted for the public's interaction and pleasure by the parks department, think about the ceiling of the tunnel. Nine times out of ten it is curved, just like the top of an arch. The strength of the arch is repeatedly used throughout history and still continues to be used today. I love campuses and college universities; I graduated Summa Cum Laude from the University of Tennessee. There are stone arches everywhere, ranging in size from the outdoor passageway between two of the buildings on the hill to the arches repeated infinitely together around the football stadium, both at ground level and on top overlooking and towering over the university down below. Arches are, for some reason, pleasing to the eye and the heart as it both relaxes us and puts as more at peace. Often, as nature slowly but surely grows, natural arches are formed and then strengthened. Nature utilizes the shape of the arch to it's advantage, we should at least be doing that. Take a look at the world around you, really stop and look for just a minute or two. See the hidden arches around you, even the ones that only you see. When you walk through an arch think about how strong it is, how natural and affirming it can be no matter what it is made of. Take some of that strength for yourself, draw upon the healing powers of the natural and organic world around you. Arches are strong because they can also provide shelter. Their roots hold them strong and the columns of the bases kiss each other high above their origin as two things grow upwards and forwards together. 

When two people face each other and extend their arms to make an arch it forces each of them to stand up straight and lift up their shoulders slightly. Your arms have to go up and forward. Look at a friendship between two people. In order to form a strong arch together that helps both of you by making each stronger, you have to raise yourself up. That's the only way you can have that strength. Friendships that just keep you going or those that you don't really care too much about are never going to come together to form archways. Friendships that bring you down, tear at who you are and cast your gaze away, are the ones that will never form archways. They will never be strong. Why would you waste your time with something that not only hurts you but will continue to do so as the world turns and you grow on?A good friendship between two people, two columns, is made stronger when both reach out to one another as they both grow up and onward through time. Two arms on each side extended towards each other, lifted up and curved so as to fit together enough to be able to lean on the other completely. 

Examine your relationships and your views and stances. What do you see? Can you even see what's there? That's the first goal. Once you see what is right in front of you, you can make a choice to either do something about it or just sit back and let it happen. Are your friends or loved ones toxic for you? Do they make you a stronger person or do they drag you down time and time again? Those are the ones we want to get rid of, or at least step away from. And we can tell them why if they ask, I've been in this spot a few times and in the end the honesty was what held everything together. You have to protect yourself and look out for where you are going, yes we can help others but if we do not help ourselves we are of no value to anyone at all. The next time you go for a walk or the next time you are driving to work glance around you every now and then and see if you see any arches around you. Whether in the building or on the billboard or in the design of the car, see what you can find. Do you see arches in the world around you? Where? What are they? Can't find any? Take a deep breath, relax and let loose your mind. Take five minutes in the car or on your daily walk and don't think about anything else except what you are hearing and seeing around you. Most of us have to force ourselves to take a hard look because we are too stubborn and too busy to admit it on our own. Don't let yourself get so caught up; free your heart and mind. Try it today, take a look. While you're at it think about this, if a tunnel is nothing more than an archway extending into the distance then when we hit a roadblock do you think that the strongest arches we have will push us through instead of around our problems in life as they guide us forward in order to create a tunnel for us to pass through?

Setting Sun, Rising Hopes

I took this the other night after leaving the apartment before getting in the truck. I looked up to see the dying light of the sun. The purples and blues were so amazingly and startlingly beautiful. The sun sets every day and there's nothing we can do about it, it will always set. But it will also always rise. Even when it's hidden behind rain clouds it's still there shining. All we can do is sit back and enjoy the beauty that's there if we take the time to see it. There will always be hard times and bad days but they won't last forever. We can't have the happy days without the sad ones. We just have to hold on to the little beautiful things surrounding us and focus on them. Only then can we make it through the darkest night. As the sun sets and he sky gets dark don't forget that soon it will return, and until then you might as well make the best of any situation because nothing is going to change. 

Make It Special!

There aren't too many occasions in life where we have the opportunity to dress up and have fun. When we are young we look forward to Homecoming, Prom and Graduation. Our parents spend so much money on tuxedo rentals and limo rides or brand new dresses and flowers, all to make us feel like we are stars. As we grow up there become fewer reasons to dress up, going out with friends turns into late night soccer practice before the big tournament and the lunch dates with friends or that special guy turns into weekly dinners at your parents house so they can feel you are still a part of their lives. Tradition and family are important, but so are we too. We don't always have to put ourselves first but we have to make ourselves a priority. We are special, and we have to constantly be reminding ourselves because we tend to forget it before we've finished thinking it. 

You don't have to take time away from other things or commitments, just make those occasions you do have memorable. It doesn't have to be much, anything that makes you laugh, smile or feel better about yourself. When you have a presentation at work plan out what you're going to wear ahead of time. Pick out your favorite shoes, go get a necklace or ring or something new to match with it. It doesn't have to be much. The act of planning and the anticipation for even the little bonuses are the fuel we need to keep our joy production high. I have my concerts and visit back home to Tennessee coming in April. Those things I look forward to because I am excited about them and they help motivate me to get through all the crap until then. But what really makes it special are the plans around it. Picking out what I want to wear to the concert and what clothes I want to bring back home to wear are all little things but they give me control over my happiness, my joy. I'm having fun planning the trip out with my mom, building the anticipation. Give yourself something to be joyful for. 

Another example, tonight we are going to an Oscar viewing party in some loft in Hollywood. With my partner being involved with the entertainment industry I've jumped into the world of Hollywood. These parties still intimidate me, no matter where they are or who is throwing them. Most of the time it ends up ok, but I do things to make myself feel more comfortable and confident in myself. For tonight I am going to wear a black polo with black slacks and white suspenders with a black and white splashed bow tie. I'm going to wear my favorite black designer boots. I got a new bracelet from the store and new underwear too. Just to make it more fun and exciting. I love my new white suspenders and with the bow tie I picked up, for less than 6$, they will look even more awesome. I have to look hot and stand out without looking weird or like I'm trying too hard. I just try hard, not too hard. 

Tonight I am going to feel awesome. I'll be in a newly designed and newly accessorized outfit and I'll be standing up tall. Make yourself feel good. Make yourself feel attractive. Yes you can do it to get the attention of your loving partner, but more so do it for yourself. By expressing yourself, feeling confident and smiling you flood your night with joy. It can be as small as wearing that sexy new leather jockstrap everyday under your jeans or buying a wristband to make you smile because at work today someone got into an argument with you and pushed your buttons until the simmering reached a boil. The day you have a presentation at work plan on wearing your favorite tee shirt under your button up to give you that little extra boost. There are numerous events coming up for each of us, from the first day on a new shift at work to the dinner you are having with your best friend from college next week. Make them special, that way even if they disappoint it won't matter because you'll have that blanket of joy to wrap yourself in. I can't wait until tonight, my sexy new outfit, a haircut I finally love and my newly grown beard. I'm going to make tonight joyful; it's up to me. No one else is going to give you the keys to your own castle. Open the door and let yourself in!