One Step At A Time, Never Thinking Of More Than What Surrounds You

My biggest problems in life have always been depression and anxiety. Even when I was a kid I remember lying in bed at night and praying for the safety and health of me, my family, my friends, my friend's family, friends of my friends and their families too. Over and over I would go through everything in my head like a practiced rhythm, making sure to include every tiny detail and person. I would pray for people I didn't know, for strangers and neighbors. I couldn't stand the thought or worry over someone being hurt, and believe it or not those thoughts were always there no matter what I did. But if I went through my rituals it helped me cope and made things more bearable. I of course have always missed the fact that the problem isn't trying to find rituals to cope but to learn to live without the anxiety to begin with. Taking it day by day has always been a foreign concept to me, therefore so has happiness. I mean, I know what it feels like to be happy, but true happiness I didn't discover until a few short years ago. I still struggle today, but it is much easier than before. Learning how to live both Joyfully and Mindfully have guided me to a life not free of bad things and negativity, but free of needless anxiety and worry over things that are neither under my control nor even necessary to worry about. 

I have ground my teeth bad since I was a young kid, probably starting in high school. By the time I got to college the dentist asked if I had a stressful job because I had ground my k9's completely flat, all of my teeth were and are now completely flat. When I get really stressed I will do it throughout the day without even realizing. That's when the headaches get really bad, although I still get plenty in the mornings from nighttime grinding. The sound, just thinking about it makes me cringe and tremble. I wear a night guard now and it helps most of the time. The point is I really take anxiety to heart and I don't let go. It has really been a challenge for me to let go of the reigns and allow myself to just be. When you think about it though, it is all we truly have. The here and now, what is right in front of us. That is life, our lives. The lives we are supposed to be living. All we have is today because we really have no freaking idea if we will be alive tomorrow. That thought has terrified me since I was a little kid, knowing I could and would eventually die any day of any number of things. That is what makes life precious, that is what makes it mean something. We are only here for a short time and what we do in that time is what matters. Our lives have value because they are mortal. Just like a rose has its value because it will eventually wilt and die and no longer be beautiful. 

We have to think of life like a flower, it's going to end sometime in the future and we have to live every moment to the fullest because we don't know how many of them we are going to get. You never know what you have until it's gone. I wear my mala beads everyday under my shirt to work, to the store, around the house, and they are amazingly calming. There are times where I won't have too long but I will stop for even just a few seconds and recite my mantra moving bead to bead and focusing my intention and thoughts. It makes me feel safe, it makes me feel a little stronger. My mantra helps too. That's the first step. Pick one for yourself if you don't have one, think about it and make it something that is important to you. Something that has meaning. Something that is relatively short and easy to remember and repeat. Make it something that describes who you feel you really are, make it something to give you strength and empower you. I was walking through the multi-level and multi-enclosure Aviary at the LA Zoo the other day when I saw this staircase going down. I was so busy looking over the edge at the birds and small animals that I took each step slowly and carefully and used the railing to help my clumsy self. It reminded me of being mindful and living in the present, literally taking it one step at a time. The path ahead curved downward, how fitting to complete the metaphor for life. You don't know what's coming, no one does. Live today to the fullest while making sure tomorrow is secured. Don't waste time over worry and unnecessary stress, all stress is unnecessary by the way. Things will always get rough, find your mantra and be mindful. Taking it one step, one day, at a time is the best place to start when you want to take control of your life and turn it into one filled with Joy and free of anxiety and stress. 

Staying Grounded Through The Chaos, The Storm, The Calm & The Stressful

I haven't been able to post much the past week and a half or so, it seems like life has just been crazy. With work pretty much completely taking over my life it was hard enough to get things done, it took all my free time to keep my sanity and keep me afloat. It really has been non-stop, all day for over a week. I'm not complaining, I do love my job and I know I can handle it all, it's just that after that long I start to go from tired to exhausted. I hate how I felt after finally getting some time off this afternoon. It felt amazing to just relax in bed, read a book, take a nap and even get up and cook dinner for me and my husband. It felt great to do something for me, to take care of me. It was also nice to have a moment to breathe and look back at everything I had just gone though. To reflect. 

Looking back I wanted to figure out what had gotten me through so well, what had kept me so much more grounded than I thought or expected of myself. Every step of the way, even through the unexpected situations, I kept reminding myself of the things I was Joyful about, the things I had to be Joyful about and the things the helped remind me of who I was. I wore my Mala-bead necklace and even when I couldn't meditate completely I could still touch the wooden beads on my neck and take a second to repeat my mantra for five or six beads and keep myself grounded. Just feeling them under my shirt or playing with them absentmindedly kept reminding me that I had to just stay true to myself and keep myself grounded. I took time to be mindful and live in the present. I slowed myself down at every step, at every point when something crazy happened or came up, I took a second to just look at what was going on around me in that moment and what needed to be dealt with right now. It's quite calming, living in the present, even if you can only do it for a few minutes at a time here and there. It all starts with practice and practice makes perfect. 

Normally I would have overreacted so many times over to so many different things that happened, but I didn't. Being more mindful of being mindful can help though. It sounds dumb, but by spending  so much time reminding myself to be mindful and thinking about how to be more mindful I made myself a little more mindful. It shows that it really does work, but you get out of it what you put into it. If you try, if you really want it, then it will come. All you have to do is open yourself up and be willing to let go and just be. Live in the here and now, both when times are crazy and when times are going smoothly. The other day out in our side garden at home I was watering the plants and something really neat caught my eye. On one of the tree stumps we have there was a rainbow, but a rainbow spot so bright it looked as if it had been painted on. I thought for a second that it had been, until I waved my hand and made it disappear. I couldn't figure out where it came from, but it looked so awesome. It was truly living in the present, at that moment the sun was shining just right and refracting off something to create a rainbow in just this spot. Even something that seems as intangible as a rainbow, or mindfulness, shines so bright it casts it's beautiful shadow of color all over. Never underestimate the power of mindfulness. Don't forget how much it can help you, help you live and help you grow. Never give up and hold on to your Joy everyday, that's what we have in this life. The everyday, and the Joy we can find in it. 

The Joy of Being an Elephant (Even When Not In The Wild) 🐘🌾🍃🌿☀️🎶

Never forget to dance along to the beat of life, I mean look at this elephant. This magnificent creature is massive and It's been around so much longer than any of us and is built to destroy things many times our size. It's natural tusks are so valuable that they have put the elephant on the endangered species list and threatens to keep them there until they simply cease to exist. I don't know how the LA Zoo aquires and conserves animals but I know that these people and handlers can be trusted. These elephants needed a home and found one here, where they are well taken care of and don't have to worry about poachers or drought or predators. This Establishment has the backing of many very influential and honorable people. I could go on and on, but the point is that while the Zoo is not the ideal spot for the elephants to live it is the best and safest place for them to be right now and at least while they are here we can make sure that they are taken care of in the best manner possible so as to make them happy and make their life most like how it would be if they were home in the wild.

Being here allows them to safely and peacefully live their lives and to be happy as well. Human beings aren't the only living creatures capable of happiness and Joy. All living creatures are capable of love and joy to some form or extent. Look at this beautiful elephant, those amazingly rare and deadly tusks. Yet such a gentle demeanor from an animal not threatened by poachers or rifles. Granted they are still wild animals, but by being rescued we domesticate them to an extant (the least amount as possible) in order to help them acclimate and ultimately survive. They don't get all the same things they would if they were outside the zoo, but they get the extra benefits over the risks. I don't know if this elephant was bred, captured or rescued or whether or not he has ever even seen the wild, but I do know one thing - he doesn't care right now. He is enjoying being alive. Human beings must have invented stress and worry for ourselves because it serves no point except to sabotage our own lives; animals don't seem to be stressing about what their lives will be like in ten years. They live in the here and now because they have to. While we can't necessarily live life without thinking of the future at all we have quite a bit we can learn. This guy floored me, mesmerized me. I couldn't look away and the whole time I was grinning, smiling and laughing along with everyone else there. I was already complaining about odd things throughout the day and look at this elephant here who had more to complain about than me and he was saying screw it, let's make the best of it. It almost made me feel like a fool. 

At this certain point there were about twenty or so people gathered looking out over a meter-high barrier standing between the elephant enclosure and the outside zoo. The elephant seemed to know he had an audience because, as you can see in the video, he looks over many times smiling and keeps going as if to play. In the warm springtime sun he seems to dance to his own tune and rhythm, in sync with whatever is running through his head. He keeps cool by backing into the water from the waterfall and plays around once more by climbing the hill to dance around some more and wave with a smile to his adoring bystanders. It was one of those moments in the zoo when you completely forget about time and everything else and get lost in the sheer Joy of witnessing anther animal not only find its Joy but share it with others. Joy truly is all around us. We have to constantly remind ourselves to be like Mr. Elephant and simply blow off the sand and dirt of troubles and dance away the stiffness and ache of life. Live in the present moment and enjoy what is going on right now, even when your situation is less than ideal work with what you have and make the best of it. You will never get another today again; a tomorrow maybe, but we don't know about that either. Since we can't be sure lets make sure to focus on finding those things of Joy in our life and truly enjoying them once we find them. Once we do that sharing becomes an easy next step as it pretty much happens on its own as you become a becon outward of your own Joy. So play in the dirt and the water, get messy and have fun - sing and dance like there's no tomorrow, because today is all we are guaranteed.