One Step At A Time, Never Thinking Of More Than What Surrounds You

My biggest problems in life have always been depression and anxiety. Even when I was a kid I remember lying in bed at night and praying for the safety and health of me, my family, my friends, my friend's family, friends of my friends and their families too. Over and over I would go through everything in my head like a practiced rhythm, making sure to include every tiny detail and person. I would pray for people I didn't know, for strangers and neighbors. I couldn't stand the thought or worry over someone being hurt, and believe it or not those thoughts were always there no matter what I did. But if I went through my rituals it helped me cope and made things more bearable. I of course have always missed the fact that the problem isn't trying to find rituals to cope but to learn to live without the anxiety to begin with. Taking it day by day has always been a foreign concept to me, therefore so has happiness. I mean, I know what it feels like to be happy, but true happiness I didn't discover until a few short years ago. I still struggle today, but it is much easier than before. Learning how to live both Joyfully and Mindfully have guided me to a life not free of bad things and negativity, but free of needless anxiety and worry over things that are neither under my control nor even necessary to worry about. 

I have ground my teeth bad since I was a young kid, probably starting in high school. By the time I got to college the dentist asked if I had a stressful job because I had ground my k9's completely flat, all of my teeth were and are now completely flat. When I get really stressed I will do it throughout the day without even realizing. That's when the headaches get really bad, although I still get plenty in the mornings from nighttime grinding. The sound, just thinking about it makes me cringe and tremble. I wear a night guard now and it helps most of the time. The point is I really take anxiety to heart and I don't let go. It has really been a challenge for me to let go of the reigns and allow myself to just be. When you think about it though, it is all we truly have. The here and now, what is right in front of us. That is life, our lives. The lives we are supposed to be living. All we have is today because we really have no freaking idea if we will be alive tomorrow. That thought has terrified me since I was a little kid, knowing I could and would eventually die any day of any number of things. That is what makes life precious, that is what makes it mean something. We are only here for a short time and what we do in that time is what matters. Our lives have value because they are mortal. Just like a rose has its value because it will eventually wilt and die and no longer be beautiful. 

We have to think of life like a flower, it's going to end sometime in the future and we have to live every moment to the fullest because we don't know how many of them we are going to get. You never know what you have until it's gone. I wear my mala beads everyday under my shirt to work, to the store, around the house, and they are amazingly calming. There are times where I won't have too long but I will stop for even just a few seconds and recite my mantra moving bead to bead and focusing my intention and thoughts. It makes me feel safe, it makes me feel a little stronger. My mantra helps too. That's the first step. Pick one for yourself if you don't have one, think about it and make it something that is important to you. Something that has meaning. Something that is relatively short and easy to remember and repeat. Make it something that describes who you feel you really are, make it something to give you strength and empower you. I was walking through the multi-level and multi-enclosure Aviary at the LA Zoo the other day when I saw this staircase going down. I was so busy looking over the edge at the birds and small animals that I took each step slowly and carefully and used the railing to help my clumsy self. It reminded me of being mindful and living in the present, literally taking it one step at a time. The path ahead curved downward, how fitting to complete the metaphor for life. You don't know what's coming, no one does. Live today to the fullest while making sure tomorrow is secured. Don't waste time over worry and unnecessary stress, all stress is unnecessary by the way. Things will always get rough, find your mantra and be mindful. Taking it one step, one day, at a time is the best place to start when you want to take control of your life and turn it into one filled with Joy and free of anxiety and stress. 

Staying Grounded Through The Chaos, The Storm, The Calm & The Stressful

I haven't been able to post much the past week and a half or so, it seems like life has just been crazy. With work pretty much completely taking over my life it was hard enough to get things done, it took all my free time to keep my sanity and keep me afloat. It really has been non-stop, all day for over a week. I'm not complaining, I do love my job and I know I can handle it all, it's just that after that long I start to go from tired to exhausted. I hate how I felt after finally getting some time off this afternoon. It felt amazing to just relax in bed, read a book, take a nap and even get up and cook dinner for me and my husband. It felt great to do something for me, to take care of me. It was also nice to have a moment to breathe and look back at everything I had just gone though. To reflect. 

Looking back I wanted to figure out what had gotten me through so well, what had kept me so much more grounded than I thought or expected of myself. Every step of the way, even through the unexpected situations, I kept reminding myself of the things I was Joyful about, the things I had to be Joyful about and the things the helped remind me of who I was. I wore my Mala-bead necklace and even when I couldn't meditate completely I could still touch the wooden beads on my neck and take a second to repeat my mantra for five or six beads and keep myself grounded. Just feeling them under my shirt or playing with them absentmindedly kept reminding me that I had to just stay true to myself and keep myself grounded. I took time to be mindful and live in the present. I slowed myself down at every step, at every point when something crazy happened or came up, I took a second to just look at what was going on around me in that moment and what needed to be dealt with right now. It's quite calming, living in the present, even if you can only do it for a few minutes at a time here and there. It all starts with practice and practice makes perfect. 

Normally I would have overreacted so many times over to so many different things that happened, but I didn't. Being more mindful of being mindful can help though. It sounds dumb, but by spending  so much time reminding myself to be mindful and thinking about how to be more mindful I made myself a little more mindful. It shows that it really does work, but you get out of it what you put into it. If you try, if you really want it, then it will come. All you have to do is open yourself up and be willing to let go and just be. Live in the here and now, both when times are crazy and when times are going smoothly. The other day out in our side garden at home I was watering the plants and something really neat caught my eye. On one of the tree stumps we have there was a rainbow, but a rainbow spot so bright it looked as if it had been painted on. I thought for a second that it had been, until I waved my hand and made it disappear. I couldn't figure out where it came from, but it looked so awesome. It was truly living in the present, at that moment the sun was shining just right and refracting off something to create a rainbow in just this spot. Even something that seems as intangible as a rainbow, or mindfulness, shines so bright it casts it's beautiful shadow of color all over. Never underestimate the power of mindfulness. Don't forget how much it can help you, help you live and help you grow. Never give up and hold on to your Joy everyday, that's what we have in this life. The everyday, and the Joy we can find in it. 

Breath In, Breath Out - 15 Second Savior

One trick that I have been focusing on lately is what I call the "15-Second Pause." I have this program that teaches me mindfulness and about what it is and what it means. It helps me practice and prompts me when I need it. One of the things it uses to help is the pause feature, which is available at any time from the homescreen. There's a 15 second circular loop in the middle of the screen and as the outside of the loop goes around to complete the countdown it prompts you to breathe in and breathe out twice. The background screen changes to one of twenty or more moving backgrounds; they are all animated nature or relaxing videos. It gives you 15 seconds to focus on something beautiful that is going on right in front of you. The goal is that while

breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth just twice and focusing on what you are seeing or what is really around you you can return back to your awareness of reality with an enhanced balance and mindfulness, in tune with the world around you. This is the chance to, when you look up from the exercise, look at what is around you now. Focus on being mindful of the present and what is going on all around you. Enjoy it and your life instead of worrying about things you can't control or living in the past or future. By spending all our time being upset for whatever reason at whomever about the past or all our time worrying about or planning for the future we miss out on the present. It's called the present for a reason. Really. Learn to be mindful, use these 15-second breaks to help. You can use the timer on you iPhone or look at a relaxing picture for 15 seconds - just make sure to breathe in and out two times. In through the nose and out through the mouth. It's a cliche, but it's true, don't forget to stop and smell the roses - you never know when you will be back and if they will even be in bloom. Take a minute to slow down and see things for what they really are, see what's really going on all around you. Live for today. Don't miss out on the life you've been given. 

You can download the app if you want - it's called "Mindfulness Daily" by inward inc - here's the link for the App Store:

https://appsto.re/us/_bIYP.i

The Joy of The Morning Dew - A Morning's Promise Of A Fresh Start

Life came to exist here on this piece of space rock because a billion different odds came together to make it possible. Nature is a powerful force, a force to be recokoned with. I mean look at what she's done so far; you could extend Mother Nature on into our Universe and even beyond since it too is the world around us, even if we can't see it. Nature always amazes me, it's patterns as well as its force of change. Look at the Grand Canyon, carved over millions of years by the Colorado River from a once flat piece of land. The human body is just as much an example, it is the very reason I got into the healthcare field and eventually became a nurse. The human body and the way it works amazes me. I mean truly amazes me. The billions of different things, pieces, processes, on and on all happening at the same time in sync and in communication. Nature is powerful. We evolved from what was once nothing on this planet and look how complex we are now compared to the first single-celled organism that popped up here on Earth. 

Nature is obviously evident all around us, we have just trained ourselves not to see it - to ignore it. I love how many trees my neighborhood has, I'm lucky. There's also the park down the street. Besides, this is California - there are aloe plants and palm trees literally everywhere. I love going for walks just to be outside and under the trees,walking through the neighborhood. I love growing plants, I'm not always that good at it but I love it. Succulent plants are easy because they just need water and sun but can survive pretty well with even only a little water. I spend hours sometimes just watching them and looking at all the details. Sometimes I think about things and sometimes I just sit and examine the amazing living being in front of me that is also growing and changing. Some of those plants like the succulents are a great example. They, like many others, will grow toward the sunlight so depending on where you put them they will grow a different direction. They crave that light and that nourishment. 

Go for a walk sometime soon, and by soon I mean like today or tomorrow by the latest. Even if it's just for five minutes. I park my truck at work in the 1 hour parking zone so I'm forced to take 3 minutes every hour and take a deep breath and clear my head. Sometimes I take a 6 minute walk around the neighborhood. Nothing long or fancy, just something to get me back outside and connected to nature. Even in the city there are parks and trees. It's like re-charging your batteries in the best way possible. Take a long walk on the weekend. Look up at the open sky and remember why you are joyful and what you have to be joyful about. Be mindful and live here and now in the present. 

There are so many truly beautiful things in nature, everyday types of things. Things that happen because of nature's cycle - like the rain. Yes we have droughts and floods but it is still a water cycle that has developed and helped formed this planet. One beautiful thing about this cycle is the morning dew. The moisture in the cooler air at night falls as condensation when the temperature slowly begins to rise. The water droplets then form and are left on the surface of Earth, well the surfaces that have access to rain. In the morning take a step outside and look at the grass, look at the leaves on the trees or even the metal railings lining the walkways. I love the morning dew because it brings me joy by reminding me that some things do come from the cold harsh night, and it reminds me of freshness. A new start. A new beginning. A new day. I am a water sign and for some reason in an odd way water soothes me like nothing else can. When I see the morning dew I see the Joy I hold closest to my heart, my loving husband and our two dogs, my family and my writing; the potential this day has to propel one of those forward. No matter what happened yesterday. No matter the mistakes or problems or failures. Today take a look at the morning dew, take a moment to center and be mindful. Appreciate life and the things around you, what you have and what you someday will. Be happy in the here and now and take this chance to realize that every morning is a fresh start with a new chance to do whatever you want. You just have to want it. 

Don't Just Keep Swimming, Go For A Swim & Enjoy Doing It

I just freaking love this video! 💦🐢💦 I love turtles so much anyway, to me they are my zodiac symbol. While I don't believe in that I do believe that certain traits are more common at certain times of year, etc. I am a Cancer and I really fit the definition perfectly, while some people are more blended. Either way, to me it's just one way man has attempted to understand the stars' effects on us and how timing in cycles affect outcomes of individual events. Normally a Cancer is a crab, but I feel a turtle is a much better representation  And it works too, it fits all the same properties of the crab that are used for its representation of its people. Turtles are beautiful creatures with intricate and strong shells that are more than just something pretty to look at, it also provides a home and hiding place for the turtle. He can withdrawal whenever he doesn't feel safe. A lot like me. I could go on and on, let's just say I've taken a big liking to turtles now. Something about it in my gut feels right so I go with it. After feeding giant sea turtles you can't get much better, but I just loved watching this little guy go for a swim. I hadn't seen this particular turtle swim like this before and it was cool being right there and getting to watch as he swam right across my view. 

It relaxes me so much to watch them when they glide so effortlessly in the water. They just use smooth, wide, strong arc waves from their front appendages to propel themselves forward. Slowly and steadily the strength of each push combines to move the turtle along quite speedily. 

He made me smile. As you start your day today remind yourself to take it easy. Take a deep breath and slow down a couple times today. Be mindful. Take 15 seconds to pause, breathe deeply and clear your head and focus only on what you are doing right now - that is what mindfulness is. Try it today, use it to help you glide along like this fella. Don't just go through your life, enjoy it. Don't forget about living the life your so busy worrying and stressing away.