Simple Tool #2 - Repeating Doorways In The Peace Under The Bridge

After moving to a new home one of the most important things I must do is find my peaceful spot. I need that one spot, somewhere away from the apartment and away from all my worries and anxieties and fears. When I first moved to California I lived in Venice and my favorite escape wasn't so much a place as the act of doing something in that place. I used to love driving, driving for hours in any direction just for the sake of getting lost and having fun; I wanted to explore. That was what I did in Venice and Venice Beach, drive around every little side street, alley, park and even down the coast following the beautiful beaches. I loved the smell of the salt in the air, it was so refreshing. When I was there I reminded myself that I really was here in California. I had made it here and I was living my dream. I really did have a lot to be happy about and proud of. I needed to remind myself of that a lot to keep myself  motivated when I wanted to give up in those times of trial. It had meaning for me.

After I moved to the valley a few years later I found the most beautiful park I had seen in such a long time. It was owned by the city so it was well manicured, clean and taken care of. There were so many trees, and so many different kinds too. There were paths everywhere and places to sit and play or eat and cook out. It was at the base of a few mountains, towering high over the open grass fields and flowering trees and bushes. When the sun was out it was like everything just came to life, so vibrant and so beautiful. It was my heaven when I was there, my escape. Now I still live in the valley but a little farther west, closer to the city. I have to say I do like it a lot here, even though my park isn't here. There are other parks though that are still beautiful and nice. The nice trail around the golf course is always one of my favorites or even the trail over the dam where you can see down onto the freeway. The Wildlife Preserve is my favorite because of how natural and raw it still is and how teeming with life it always seems. There are rabbits, ducks, geese, fish, huge frogs, big turtles, birds of every shape, size and song and so many more. It really is a beautiful place and I try to go there as many times a week as I possibly can.

Like it's gigantic neighbor Griffith Park, looming over vast mountains and ravines, Balboa Park seems almost just as huge. It's spread out and connects to parks on either side. Most importantly it is well taken care of and the wildlife preserve really is preserved. There are so many spots in that park that I love but there is one in particular that I love the most. The one spot that brings me peace. Whenever we are walking I always try to steer my partner in the direction of the tunnel under the road to another part of the park. Walking underneath it is like having the world just disappear. You can feel it as the sound suddenly stops and all you hear is the slow movement of the water and the sound of the birds and other creatures waiting outside. I love that feeling when the sound first breaks because it's like running into a wall of padding. The stillness is haunting yet satisfyingly comforting. The water has spilled over it's former shallows and enveloped pools formed around the concrete that seems as if it is just melting away. It is almost like a nostalgic feeling of stopping and seeing someone from a time lost playing in the water or drinking a beer with their friends. A weird, yet calming, feeling of hope and peace. 

Walking out toward the sunshine on the other side I am always happy to feel the warmth but heartbroken to let go of the seductive ache that always clasps around my heart when I walk through that beautiful space. Under that bride it is like a different world. Looking up and out over the river you can see through the pillars as if through a concrete maze whose walls were crumbling. It is like seeing doorways just repeating over and over, alternating so that it seems that when they are viewed from just the right alignment a series of interlocking doors have opened, all waiting for you to step through and see what's on the other side. That wonder, along with the ache, is more haunting than any ghost or spirit. That is my peaceful place right now, my refuge from the storm that is my own mind. I try to go there every day with my partner and sometimes even with little Miss Stormborn. On the days I get off work a little late we just go to one of the neighborhood parks down the street. But when I get to go visit my spot, when I get the chance to let go, the feeling of being free is so comforting it's almost addicting. We should all have someplace to comfort us. Yes there are always many places that mean many different things to all of us, but there is that one spot that really just captures you and your heart. One that encapsulates what it is that you are and what you are feeling. Only you know what that spot is, no one else. It can be the view of the wall when your sitting on the ground with your back against your bed or the view from the back patio of the house you are renting. It can be the graveyard where your loved one is buried or the park near the mall because of all the tall trees around the glistening lake. It's a challenge, finding your spot. Don't put too much thought into it though, let it just happen. When you find your spot hold on to it and use it. Use it like a battery to recharge your joy tanks. It's like a never ending supply of hope and strength. Seek it when you need comfort and use it to shelter yourself from the storms that life brings your way. Find your spot, it will help you find your joy as it strips away the distractions around  you and brings you back down to earth. 

Love is Special, All Kinds of Love - PART II

The other day I reflected on love and the power it has to drive and motivate us. It is all around us and embedded in every action and intention. Love takes varying forms, shapes and sizes but always has one thing in common - when you love someone you think about them and their needs before your own. Love for your best friend won't be the same as the love for your husband, but they are both evolving and organic forms of love and compassion. When we interact with others we have the opportunity to pass that love along and spread joy through a chain reaction started by one simple act. The chain reactions we cause are infinite, but it is up to us whether we cause a positive or negative reaction. Whether they help or harm the world around us. Most of the time not acting causes just as much of a reaction. Just another reason to make a decision now, because in the end it won't be up to you. 
When you think of all the interactions you have throughout the day it becomes overwhelming. So many changes in the world, however minute. We find joy through the positive interactions. This means that other people can influence whether or not we are placed in joyful or potentially disheartening situations. As well though we must face responsibility. We are in control of most of our lives and decisions which means that with practice we should be able to make at least most of our lives joyful. By practicing small routines or carrying little tokens we can remind ourselves of the things that give us joy so that when we are faced with another decision there will be that positive energy behind you. What's even better than creating a life of joy for yourself is to be with someone who helps keep you up as well as encourages you to focus on the things you hold dear. That is where all those different forms of love come into play. The bonds that tie us together in order to lift us up. When we find these we must hold on to them for dear life because they are the bonds that keep us floating in deep waters. 
A token can be anything that brings a joyful memory back, anything that represents love. These tokens can be much stronger than you think and give a lot more strength than you can imagine to the carrier. When I first met my partner I was with someone else and slowly but suddenly fell for him and wanted nothing more than to be whisked away by a real life prince. He slowed things down though. First we were friends, then when it happened a few months later it was something more. After that I left my ex and we started our real relationship. For a long while he wasn't even my boyfriend, not until he felt like it was the right time. Eventually we became partners and hopefully someday soon I will get the pleasure of calling him my husband. At the time it drove me crazy how slow he wanted to go but in the end I now thank  him for making it meaningful, special and lasting. By building our friendship first we built the foundation that has kept us not only together but strong together. That gift is invaluable. Anyway, I remember the first night we met and the feelings I had when he left to go home. I remember the next  night too, because we had to see each other again the very next day. After he came to pick me up and we went out to his car he gave me this little silver box. He told me that when he met me yesterday it reminded him of me. It's a beautiful metal box that will last forever, well almost. Better than being a gift from someone I already knew I liked, I love small boxes and things like that to store things in. Silly, but it's me. I of course still have it next to the bed and keep only the most special of things in it. Every time I look at it or open it up I think of him and I remember that feeling sitting in the car when he first gave it to me. After a few weeks he gave me a sterling silver two piece puzzle ring that read "Only Love You" on the outside and when you lifted it apart, "Stay With Me" on the inside. It was also a pinky ring, we each had one on our pinky. It was a pinky ring for a pinky promise he told me. You better bet I still have that ring in a very safe place, I'm pretty sure the silver box. But things like that are the things that really have meaning and can help us stay strong and courageous through times of darkness. 
At the Natural History Museum last night I found a blue woven friendship bracelet that was misplaced. I looked through the whole store trying to find another so I could get two. I never found another and forgot about it after a few minutes. I did sneak and buy two little stone hearts and two color banded bracelets, each with a metal infinity sign. Small, not so expensive, gifts that once given increase their value exponentially. Today, away on his trip, he took the blue heart, blue is my favorite color, and his green infinity band. I wore my blue infinity band and carried my little red stone heart today. It's been nice to have something small and smooth to play with in my hand when I get nervous or anxious. My infinity bracelet never comes off, just as infinity never ends. When we got back into the car to drive home after the museum last night he handed me the map and brochures after we got into the truck. I was about to toss them in the back when he told me to stop, that it was for me. Slowly I opened the booklet and out fell the blue friendship band. On the card it said that this lucky bracelet must have a wished placed upon it as the giver ties it to their friends wrist. As time passes and the bracelet wears, it will fall off and according to legend that wish made will come true. After we got home he tied it on my wrist, and it isn't coming off as to keep true to the tradition of the friendship bracelet. I won't say what I wished, but it was something big and important to me. That's why this bracelet means so much to me. It's why I keep it on and why it gives me strength and joy. Little things can mean a lot, big things can mean a lot. Obviously the meaning comes from the significance it has to you. Don't be afraid to feel, we are humans and we were made with human logic and human emotion. Keep tokens you encounter in life, find some and make them tokens. Give something value and meaning so that it may return the favor to you. Love comes in all shapes and forms as does hope and inspiration. If you feel hopeless then look at the love and loved ones around you and draw from them. If you are blinded by situation and feel lost, look inward and make your own tokens from which to draw strength. You have the power and tools and potential inside yourself, all you have to do is draw on it in your time of need. I challenge you, take some time and find a new small token to carry that will help inspire you and encourage you to do the right thing. You can pick anything, it's all up to you. It's all about you. 

800

I know it may not be much, and despite the fact that the real reason I am doing this blog is to keep myself from going crazy, but I got excited this weekend when I passed 800 views. Today was the first day of month two. So 800 in one month. I don't think that's too bad. As long as I can reach even one person a day and help them see the joy in their lives then it is worth it. I truly believe that the scars and wounds of the world will only be healed through the joy each of us  has inside all combined together in a force to be reckoned with. Spread the joy, help spread joy to those you know. My goal is to create a Joyful community that has come together to support each other and life each other up. At the end of the day we are all stuck together, let's make the absolute best out of it. Let's truly be the change we want to see in our world. 🌎🌍🌏👊