Joyful Jenny #4 - The Light At The End Of The Tunnel

There's a light at the end of the tunnel. But I can't see it yet.
I know once I'll get there...
I will be all set.

I dream and wish and hope... 
That it'll all be fine.
And when it gets hard to cope, 
I'll take that light and shine.

These here are lyrics to a verse that I wrote for a song. I believe that these lyrics can help anyone reach their dreams. We all have a dream. I know that it sometimes feels as if we aren't able to get to them. But trust me, one day you will. Basically, these lyrics say almost the exact wording. Everyone has their own tunnel. Their own little path of life. I have mine and I can honestly say that behind me, it's very dark. But the lights recently just started to dim. I know there's a light at the end of my tunnel. I may not be almost there. But I know that there is one. There's always a bright side to most things. Sometimes, we feel like we can't make it. But like these lyrics say, take that light and shine. Make it your own. It doesn't have to be the light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe it's a small lantern that you found along the way to make things a little easier. Make the best of that light. There are going to be obstacles. We all have to face them at one point. Just know that it will get better. It's getting better for me. So, why can't it for you? Okay. I'm going to be honest. Sometimes, when people tell me to look on the bright side, I can get a little frustrated with them. Some situations really don't have a bright side and some people just don't seem to understand that. But that doesn't mean it's the end of your joy or happiness. It just means you need to move on from that dark abyss you were once in. I know, that there's sometimes no bright side. For example, my grandma who passed away. There was no bright side there. But I managed to move on with my life and not let it get me down. Sure, I still shed a tear every once in a while. But I know that that's not what my grandma wants for me. So I keep it going. But you can always leave that dark part of your tunnel behind you. It's hard, I know. I totally understand from personal experience. But it's not going to make it easier if you keep dwelling over something. Move on and reach that light at the end of your tunnel of life. Don't reach right away though. You still got a long way to go. But find that lantern that will help you along the way. It'll all be fine. I know it. Just have the hope. It'll all be worth it. You will reach whatever it is you are reaching for. Once it's right in front of you, grab that dream and give it all you got. No one can define your future but you. I think that many people can find their light if they just believe in themselves. Also, remember that sometimes there are times where you can reach the light at the end of the tunnel. But once you get there, there's another tunnel. Life is full of good and bad things. There are times where we feel as if we want to give up. But don't. Keep it going for yourself, not others. Remember to always do things because you want to do it and not to just please others. But yes, sometimes it's nice to do things for other people who deserve it. Just remember, get through the tunnel of life and find your light. 

Light Up Your Night

There's no reason to be afraid of the dark, but I still am anyway. I don't know why but ever since I was little I've been afraid of the dark. Not so much afraid of the dark as afraid of being alone and not knowing what's happening around me. I was one paranoid child, and it's only gotten more intense since I've grown up. I have a crazy insane imagination and every time I am in total darkness I start seeing all the movie characters and people and things I am afraid of lurking just beyond the shadow. I know they aren't there but my mind can't resist the notion that they could be. They could be and I would never see them coming. Needless to say I have always needed some form of light when I'm sleeping at night. In total darkness I'm too afraid to sleep and too afraid to move, even just to turn onto my side. Just like how I can't stand total silence. I prolong my breaths and lay dead still, so afraid that I'll make some noise. I do it even when I'm alone, I really don't know who I am afraid of waking. Maybe it's just the idea of startling awake something in the shadows just beyond. I always have to have sound, even if all I have is the fan or air conditioner running. Now I use my sleep machine on my iPhone every night with rain, whales and sometime a zen melody. The point is I have always had to have that light and sound at night or I would be so frightened that I wouldn't move or dare fall asleep. The darkness is a scary thing, and it will always be there. We can be rest assured that darkness returns every evening and stays until sunrise. Most of us have learned by now that darkness lurks in the niches and corners of our lives, sometimes even just shadows cast by trauma and fear. We can't avoid it, but we can at least learn to adapt and give ourselves some peace of mind. I use my night lights and I use my rain. If I don't have anything else I'll plug in my portable charger and just have the bright light from the charge indicators. I always have a way to have some light and sound, and when for some reason I don't I sleep fitfully and fretfully. When you encounter fear or weaknesses you must learn to adapt. Find a way to either address the issue or figure out how to get around it. You can always leave the bathroom light on and door cracked. We have to be creative. Make it personal. It is about you after all. Cope with it, there isn't any other choice because we have no control over the past. Our worst enemy is ourselves. We let ourselves be miserable and we allow ourselves to cower in fear. We hold ourselves back out of exaggerated fear and inflated ideas. That's when I do dumb things like lie awake all night in fear or dreading the coming night because of the terror I felt. I make my life hell. I have to learn to stop that, but it's really hard to do. The lights and things are just one way I take a little bit of control for myself and my comfort and it makes me feel better. It really is the little things. 

What are you afraid of? Roaches, maybe? How about every time you see one you do the same routine thing to back you away from your fear. Take two steps back and if it's still crawling towards you then one step to the left. Something silly that works, that makes you feel better. That's how you can start working to overcome fear. Let me tell you about my new nightlight. I remembered the other day that IKEA had these really cute little night lights right in the kid's section near the escalator. So earlier this week my partner and I made a night run to the store and I picked one up. I don't care if it's for kids, it's adorable and it's perfect. It provides just enough light and it turns from blue to green and back again. It's actually kind of soothing. I use it every night and I love it. It looks like a little white mouse with blue eyes and ears. I'm still trying to come up with a name for him. Maybe Conquerer. That sounds kinda cool. To conquer my fear. Perfect. Figure out what you fear, what you allow to take advantage of you. Once you do, find a way to beat it or get around it. There's always an answer out there, even if it takes a long time to find. Here's the key: never give up. Be your own light in the night. 

Stormy Skies

I took a picture yesterday getting out of my truck and heading into the house. It was such an awe inspiring sight with the clouds and rain and open sky mixed with the cold nipping at all of my exposed skin. The light peaking through the dark clouds felt so warm and refreshing. The picture doesn't even do it justice, but it at least shines some light on it. Through all that darkness and downpour of rain rays of sunlight emerged as strong as ever. You can quite literally see it in the picture. The small beams of sunlight are so contrasting and so revealing. Maybe it's a reminder that through every storm comes bright sunlight. Even in the middle of what seems like an impossibly torential downfall we can have hope. Reminders of the joy we have to hold on to, what will give us the strength we need to make it through. 

The second picture I took last night when we were taking Miss Stormborn for a walk. I looked up and saw that beautiful contrasting night sky. To top it all off is the palm tree in the corner. That sky though, it reminded me of the clear after every storm and the fact that life is made up of cloudy and clear night skies, meaning that neither one could prevail continuously. Through the clouds and rain we must remember that they won't last forever, soon there will be clear skies again. We must treasure the good days when things feel hopeful so that we have something to hold on to and fuel us through the night. Ups and downs, highs and lows. Contrasting, that's what life really is about. When you start to get upset or feel like you are having a bad day stop yourself and think about the last time you went to the movies or the newest album you ordered on iTunes. Think about those clear skies and that bright warm sunlight. Bathe in the soothing memories and give the joy inside you the fuel it needs to keep the fire going. Give yourself some hope.