Unknowingly To Us, Temptation & Danger Lie Twisted & Camouflaged In Our Path Everyday & Everywhere

Temptation, a word today that doesn't carry nearly as much weight as it once did. In the past society lived according to more strict and streamlined rules. As time has passed and our horizons have broadened so too have our ideas on life and the way it is meant to be lived. Temptation used to be such a vile word, a word used frequently by religions and cults due to its connotations of fear, anger, evil and most of all self-hate and guilt. What used to be called temptation a long time ago has now become self discovery and learning, whether learning in the academic, literal, metaphorical, emotional or self taught category is open to interpretation.

Today temptation has become something different, something less tangible and more ok our subconscious and inner monologue. The dictionary defines temptation in two ways: first off as a desire to do something wrong or unwise and secondly as a course of action that attracts or tempts someone else. Interesting, very interesting. Temptation today means the desire to go against that voice in your head and do something you know you shouldn't be doing. There are of course different and varying degrees of temptation and different degrees of repercussions. Wanting things we don't have is part of growing up these days, to an extent. While I may not be religious, I grew up Southern Baptist and one concept that always interested me was the idea of coveting. Temptation and coveting go hand in hand in a way; you are only tempted by something that you want - something you saw someone else with and you want now all for yourself. That kind of temptation is always bad and dangerous because it threatens you, your Joy, who you are and all that you have. To a certain extent, you will always be you and no matter how hard you try to be someone else you will never succeed. Well, the only thing you will succeed in is alienating and destroying your own identity. 

Temptation is something we have to get used to, something that will haunt and plague our every step and every best laid plan from now until the end of time. It is going to pop up in our way all the time, that constant desire to get to the end just a little bit faster. That underlying want to finish now and enjoy the rewards. The thing is though, the rewards of victory are nothing more than victory itself because the journey is what makes the end worth anything at all. Those easy and simple fixes, those quick improvements we all dream about, are nothing more than patches on holes that need to themselves be looked at first and patched up. 

The real danger of temptation is its ability to destroy your Joy, to make you believe that the pursuit of your Joy you're so desperately following is indeed the correct path. The problem is, it's not. Temptation is a cancer that grows over time, starting only with a seed. It tells you that you aren't good enough the way you are and that you need something else to make you better. Better yet, temptation will tell you that you can do things and make changes to who you are in order to feel better, in order to find your Joy and truly be free and Joyful. It's a lie, a lie that's easy and fun to believe but a lie none the less. Finding your Joy isn't about the easy way out or being someone you aren't. Pursuing your Joy is about following who you are, mistakes and all. Temptation is nothing more than a call for the easy way out, by definition temptation is doing something unwise. It is unwisely following your Joy, being misled and misguided by something that tricks you by promising something bright and shiny when in reality the only shiny parts left behind are your skinned knees and bruised ego. 

Temptation is dangerous because it tells you that what you have isn't enough, that what you have isn't good enough and that you aren't good enough.  While we can all improve on certain things in our lives we have to also remember that we are the people we are and we have to hold on to that identity because it is the source of our true joy. The important second definition of temptation regards that of action. Out in the world today we are not just responsible for our own temptations but for the situations we place others in. If temptation is the desire to do something wrong than when we place someone else in a situation where they have the desire to do something unwise we have not only caused temptation but also put someone else's Pursuit of Joy in danger. Our actions have consequences and reflections, even ones we can't see. Think about a chameleon, who we often think of with awe and envy due to its being able to change color according to its surroundings - a pretty impressive survival mechanism. I recently got to see and study one up close when I went to the zoo here in Los Angeles and it was really amazing. I got to see it roam throughout it's cage and then settle on it's chosen branch. Once settled there his, or her, scale tones slowly began to blend in so that the chameleon itself seemed to disappear amid the background of the cage behind it. The chameleon didn't want to be picked out of the chaos all around it, a great way to survive but not a great way to live if you know what I mean. For us, the more we "blend in" the more we, by our own "action," lead others toward temptation or away from joy. Just a thought.  It really is just like throwing a rock into a pond and watching the waves scatter outward in a never-ending pattern that affects everything around it, including everything in the water underneath. We must keep this in mind when we go out and live our lives, we have to remember that the same temptations we are trying to avoid are the ones we can be throwing those around us right into. We have to watch out for one another, we really are each other's keeper. This isn't a life meant to be lived alone. As people and human beings we need each other, not just mates, but people and friends and family as well. The road to Joy is not a singular one, even for the most recluse of us. The good thing is as I've stated before, with changing times come changing forms of communication and interaction. What does it all have in common though? What is at the base of it all? The pursuit of Joy, the pursuit of the Joy within & the sharing of that Joy with the world all around us! ☀️🌎

Seeing The Joy Through The Mud

This week I haven't really written as much; as I have mentioned before there is a lot going on at work - a lot more than normal. My partner is out of town; it's just me and little Miss Stormborn. There's the harassment investigation that it still out at work, it's been over two weeks now. A slow tedious two weeks it has been. I just want it all to be over with so that I can move on and just forget about it. I've learned what I needed to and now I can move on. Part of being joyful is being able to let go of the negative influences in our lives. It has been extremely hard this week and I have spent most of the week pulled down as if through mud, getting even more slippery as time goes by. I felt stuck to the ground and I didn't even want to try to get up again. I just wanted to lie there, too tired to care. No matter how hard I tried or attempting forcing my thoughts on happy things I couldn't shake it. I wasn't eating hardly anything at all. I only got a few hours of sleep each night, and that sleep was riddled with nightmares and dark ominous thoughts. I had bags under my eyes and people around me could tell there was something going on. Of course I always said that I was fine, nothing was happening, but in reality I felt like I had gone back to being eighteen when I was first diagnosed with bi-polar and when all hell broke loose in every single aspect of my life. That was the feeling I hated the most, like I was having to relive the most horrific times of my life and that they could be returning. I don't know how, it has taken all week, but I am much closer to being able to push forward than I have been. Not having someone here to help me, listen to me, keep me on track, tell me what to do, hold my hand, do certain things for me and on and on, it was really hard on me. I started to finally realize just how hard my partner's life really is. He has given up so much for me and sacrificed even more, but he tells me every day that he doesn't care because he loves me. He does so much for me and takes care of me in every way. Without him I would be stuck back where I was before, not able to understand or do anything in life. I would like to think that I could survive without him, I mean I am sure I could learn how to cope somehow if I must, but I know that I wouldn't be able to function. People like me need people like him. We finish each other's thoughts and sentences for a reason, we lean on one another enough to make us actually one person. I do feel guilty most of the time, but I also know that because of all he does and keeps doing I am able to do the things I am able to. I can be stable, I can hold down a job, I can pay the bills, I can make phone calls, I can go shopping, I can get groceries, I can cook, I can even clean up the apartment. All of that because he knows how to help me be me when I don't know and can't see how. With him being gone this week it has really opened my eyes. I have been so down and dragging and missed him so much, but what I seemed to forget was that love is not bound by time or space. The amount that he loves me here is the same that he loves me when he's standing in New York and I in Paris. That love has to be held on to and cherished. All kinds of love, this just happens to be the guiding love and stabling element of my life. I have been carrying my stone heart and wearing the infinity and friendship bracelets all week long, never taking them off and putting it down only to shower. It helped me a lot today actually. The point is I let go of the one thing that keeps me strong. He can't help me from afar if I am not willing and able to receive his guidance. It is hard on my own, most of the time I feel incapable, but all it takes is a reach out and he will be there to grab my hand. Treasure those who love you, who save you and who carry you. Without their love we would be nowhere. All we have is each other in this life and on this earth. Make the best of it, get all the joy that you possibly can out of it. Be thankful for the people who come along for the journey and be happy for the ones who tested you and gave you the opportunity to grow. We wouldn't be who we are today without the interactions with others that we have had in our past. Become a positive force and cause your interactions to result in positive growth and change. That part of life is under our control.
This week I was reminded about the harshness of life. I was challenged and tested and did only so-so.   Have I learned anything? Yes, one more step than I knew last time. I may not know my way yet but as I go I will pave it step by step with the confidence, love and joy that are in my heart. Thank you to my loving partner who has given up so much to help me lead a better life. Thank you to all the loving people out there who make sacrifices everyday for those you love, especially those suffering from a mental illness. It can be a terrifyingly hard thing to cope with, but with love and support anything can be overcome. When times get down, which they will, focus on the good, keep on pushing and look to those around you that love you and who will lift you up instead of tear you down. What keeps you going and how? Tell them how much you appreciate them. Like me, with out infinity bracelets and me just loving the idea and concept of it, the infinity sign has become a little representation of our love. When I see it in nature I stop, laugh and smile because I am reminded of the universality of the symbol of never-endedness. I started telling him that I loved him infinity, but that didn't roll off the tongue quite right. What did I do? "I love you to infinity & beyond!" Be silly, be goofy, have fun and focus on the joyful part of life. Be strong.

A New Token

This little guy I found at the museum last night in the gift shop. Standing not even half an inch tall, it resembles a perfect miniature skull. It's black with some white veins and so smooth to the touch that it's almost like glass. I carry it with my tiny little stone heart in my pocket. It's a reminder. A reminder that I am the one in control of my own fate, my own destiny. It's up to me to do something if I want something done, and I don't have forever to do it. Time, as life, is limited. Whenever I reach in my pockets when I'm getting the keys to my truck or my chap stick or I am sitting at my desk at work I will have a constant little reminder. A reminder of how I should be living my life. Joy is something we work for and hold on to, give yourself something to physically hold and you'll be sure to recall the strength you need.