Sometimes Off The Beaten Path Is The Best & Surest Route

One of my favorite things to do is go hiking, it is the closest to feeling free that I have ever felt. It's like the world melting away and there being nothing left except you, your companions and nature. There is so much you can learn, both about the world and about yourself. At the beginning of the trail I was on the other day I saw this marker sign that signaled the start of the trail. It was graffitied but still stood strong, showing the way. Not too far up from that point there split off to the left a dirt wash that curved around ahead to meet up once again with the trail of asphalt going to the right and curving slightly back left. I took these shots and they got me thinking afterwards. We took the normal asphalt path that eventually went to gravel and then dirt but the whole time we were next to that dirt wash I wanted to be walking over there. I don't know why, I've always been like that. I like walking for miles in flip flops for fun, I go out of my way to find the rocks and roots on the hiking trail to jump on and climb over and I love taking the hard and rough path. I should have taken that route. Oh well, next time. The point though is that sometimes the way to go in life isn't on the trail. Sometimes you need to go off the trail and take the dirt path. Life isn't scripted and living in the moment means taking whatever way is right at the time. Take the dirt path when it feels right, it's your life and your decisions. Never limit yourself by the paths that others have left behind. Don't be afraid to break your own ground and make your own way. 

Cultivating Joy - A Healthy Growth Medium

I remember reading an article about buildings in Asia starting a new tax-incentive program that included building "Green Rooftops" or rooftops that acted as gardens to help replenish the oxygen and atmosphere of the surrounding city. What an amazing idea, right? Well, I saw it here in Los Angeles, CA too! At our Zoo we have an exhibit called "The Lair: Living Amphibians, Invertebrates & Reptiles." Needless to say that when I do make it through this exhibit it is normally with one eye shut and rushing past everyone on the tips of my toes. But something that struck me was the composition of the building, the roof in particular. The architects had really planned this one out and made a building that truly reflected not just its inhabitants but the land upon which it stood. The roof was more than just planks of wood and steel holding together the frame for the exhibit, it was a whole ecosystem of plants and fauna. All of them living, surviving and thriving up there. The roof was, is, alive. What a beautiful thing. The building becomes part of the world it inhabits instead of just an occupant. It's a lot like us, we can be an occupant of this life, this world that surrounds us at all turns, or we can truly become a part of it. We can become a functioning part that not only lives but thrives. We can plant those bushes and trees and plants on our roof and help grow and supply our own fuel, like solar panels that keep growing despite the sunlight. We are organic beings and we must be open to all the different ways around us that we can use to not just sustain and energize ourselves but also encourage and support ourselves as well. The architects at the Zoo did something amazing with this building, they combined form and function in order to make a more efficient and self-sustaining building. It is up to us in life to make ourselves more self-sufficient and self-sustainable; lucky for us though we don't have to go at it alone - we have all the help we need all around us. Our Joy is there waiting for us, waiting to be cultivated with love and grown with care. 

Unknowingly To Us, Temptation & Danger Lie Twisted & Camouflaged In Our Path Everyday & Everywhere

Temptation, a word today that doesn't carry nearly as much weight as it once did. In the past society lived according to more strict and streamlined rules. As time has passed and our horizons have broadened so too have our ideas on life and the way it is meant to be lived. Temptation used to be such a vile word, a word used frequently by religions and cults due to its connotations of fear, anger, evil and most of all self-hate and guilt. What used to be called temptation a long time ago has now become self discovery and learning, whether learning in the academic, literal, metaphorical, emotional or self taught category is open to interpretation.

Today temptation has become something different, something less tangible and more ok our subconscious and inner monologue. The dictionary defines temptation in two ways: first off as a desire to do something wrong or unwise and secondly as a course of action that attracts or tempts someone else. Interesting, very interesting. Temptation today means the desire to go against that voice in your head and do something you know you shouldn't be doing. There are of course different and varying degrees of temptation and different degrees of repercussions. Wanting things we don't have is part of growing up these days, to an extent. While I may not be religious, I grew up Southern Baptist and one concept that always interested me was the idea of coveting. Temptation and coveting go hand in hand in a way; you are only tempted by something that you want - something you saw someone else with and you want now all for yourself. That kind of temptation is always bad and dangerous because it threatens you, your Joy, who you are and all that you have. To a certain extent, you will always be you and no matter how hard you try to be someone else you will never succeed. Well, the only thing you will succeed in is alienating and destroying your own identity. 

Temptation is something we have to get used to, something that will haunt and plague our every step and every best laid plan from now until the end of time. It is going to pop up in our way all the time, that constant desire to get to the end just a little bit faster. That underlying want to finish now and enjoy the rewards. The thing is though, the rewards of victory are nothing more than victory itself because the journey is what makes the end worth anything at all. Those easy and simple fixes, those quick improvements we all dream about, are nothing more than patches on holes that need to themselves be looked at first and patched up. 

The real danger of temptation is its ability to destroy your Joy, to make you believe that the pursuit of your Joy you're so desperately following is indeed the correct path. The problem is, it's not. Temptation is a cancer that grows over time, starting only with a seed. It tells you that you aren't good enough the way you are and that you need something else to make you better. Better yet, temptation will tell you that you can do things and make changes to who you are in order to feel better, in order to find your Joy and truly be free and Joyful. It's a lie, a lie that's easy and fun to believe but a lie none the less. Finding your Joy isn't about the easy way out or being someone you aren't. Pursuing your Joy is about following who you are, mistakes and all. Temptation is nothing more than a call for the easy way out, by definition temptation is doing something unwise. It is unwisely following your Joy, being misled and misguided by something that tricks you by promising something bright and shiny when in reality the only shiny parts left behind are your skinned knees and bruised ego. 

Temptation is dangerous because it tells you that what you have isn't enough, that what you have isn't good enough and that you aren't good enough.  While we can all improve on certain things in our lives we have to also remember that we are the people we are and we have to hold on to that identity because it is the source of our true joy. The important second definition of temptation regards that of action. Out in the world today we are not just responsible for our own temptations but for the situations we place others in. If temptation is the desire to do something wrong than when we place someone else in a situation where they have the desire to do something unwise we have not only caused temptation but also put someone else's Pursuit of Joy in danger. Our actions have consequences and reflections, even ones we can't see. Think about a chameleon, who we often think of with awe and envy due to its being able to change color according to its surroundings - a pretty impressive survival mechanism. I recently got to see and study one up close when I went to the zoo here in Los Angeles and it was really amazing. I got to see it roam throughout it's cage and then settle on it's chosen branch. Once settled there his, or her, scale tones slowly began to blend in so that the chameleon itself seemed to disappear amid the background of the cage behind it. The chameleon didn't want to be picked out of the chaos all around it, a great way to survive but not a great way to live if you know what I mean. For us, the more we "blend in" the more we, by our own "action," lead others toward temptation or away from joy. Just a thought.  It really is just like throwing a rock into a pond and watching the waves scatter outward in a never-ending pattern that affects everything around it, including everything in the water underneath. We must keep this in mind when we go out and live our lives, we have to remember that the same temptations we are trying to avoid are the ones we can be throwing those around us right into. We have to watch out for one another, we really are each other's keeper. This isn't a life meant to be lived alone. As people and human beings we need each other, not just mates, but people and friends and family as well. The road to Joy is not a singular one, even for the most recluse of us. The good thing is as I've stated before, with changing times come changing forms of communication and interaction. What does it all have in common though? What is at the base of it all? The pursuit of Joy, the pursuit of the Joy within & the sharing of that Joy with the world all around us! ☀️🌎

Why Do We Keep Animals In Cages? Better Yet, Why Do We Pay To Go To The Zoo To Stand, Stare & Watch?

Happy Monday & welcome to another day, here we go again. Another start to another week, like a never ending cycle. When we look at it like that life is meaningless and bleak; we have to move past that and beyond the monotony that we have gotten so used to seeing. This past weekend my husband and I went to the Los Angeles Zoo, twice actually. We got our Membership to the Zoo passes and they have already paid themselves off; I have to say I am pretty excited. I have always loved the Zoo, ever since I was a little kid. I could watch the animals for hours upon hours. While there is that part of me that hates seeing any living creature in captivity I know that the zoo has a lot of conservation efforts and really does a lot to try to protect these animals. You can see the effort and care throughout the park and it truly makes it a great experience.

It got me wondering though, while we were walking among the cages, why do we do this? Why do we put these animals on display and keep them in these cages that are so small and confined compared to their outside world? Why do we rope off and enclose those foreign and alien to us? Why do we take the things we can't understand or we can't control and put them in a box to study? Why? Because we want to understand. It is the same reason we have become obsessed with Reality TV and Vlogging online, as a culture we have become consumed with understanding. In and of itself this isn't a bad thing, as our means of communication have continued to progress it has propelled us into an unprecedented era of human evolution. Some things have never changed though - like the fact that we want so badly to understand our own place in the world that we look at the environment around us in order to place ourselves in a context we can comprehend. We like going to the zoo because we like being able to see and study those things that we can't directly understand. We see ourselves in those wild eyes and we seek some kind of understanding there. Some kind of hope, not just for them but for us as well. 

Cages are designed by humans, we are the ones who build the contraptions of our own captivity and who trap those unwilling creatures we wish to watch and study and learn from. In the course of protecting the world around us and saving the things we ourselves place in danger we must remember that cages are nothing more than unnatural boundaries between us that serve only to keep us apart and keep from bringing us together. Of course at the zoo we need them to help keep the animals safe and separated, to keep them out of harms way and to keep them healthy. These cages, these limits, these boundaries all serve to protect these beautiful animals and conserve their way of life for generations to see and witness. Yet, look into the eyes of these animals as you watch them and see if you can truly tell what that look is trying to tell you. We are all living species on this planet and we are all a part of something much bigger than ourselves. We share this world with each other, human and animals alike. We go to the zoo to be transported around the globe to the most remote locations and get a glimpse into the most wild and exotic locations. These animals provide us a glimpse into the wild humanity that we have evolved from. We pay to go watch them so that we can get a better understanding of who we are, where we have come from and where we have yet to go. Our friends in the animal kingdom show us the warnings nature throws our way, the subtle roadblocks or speed bumps along the way to slow us down or cause us to take heed. We go to the zoo so that we can immerse ourself in a world we can only see in books and on television. In a world that we know to be true, but that seems to elude us at almost every point. 

Those gates and fences though are dangerous, they are there for a reason in the zoo - so we can safely watch the animals in their enclosures and learn about the different creatures of this planet. We have to learn though how to see through these fences as the nothing that they are. They are no more than man made boundaries and we must learn to make our own fences in life that protect without isolating. There are many times in life that we build fences around ourselves, whether from the outside world or from someone in particular living in it. What we have to learn is that these fences only tend to isolate us and cut us off from the rest of the world. So often, so many times, when we think we are acting in self-defense we are actually acting in fear. Next time you visit the zoo watch the animals living there, like this beautifu orangutan mother and her baby who wouldn't stop looking right at me. In that moment, than instant, that connection - I knew why. I knew what that caged animal was saying to me - "Look, we're not so different you and me. Look, we're just the same."

Crashing & Smashing Into One Another - A Drunken Chaotic Mess

It's funny how often and in how many different ways we crash into each other everyday on so many different levels, from that of the undividual to that of the institution. The small bumps here and there and the shoulder rubs we have on a daily basis aren't exactly what I'm talking about this time. You see, I've never been so lucky when it comes to cars. The car I moved out to LA with was a 2012 Hyundai Accent or something of the like and it drove all the way here from Tennessee. I made it a long way in that little deathtrap of scrap metal. After being here almost five years now though I have a new vehicle to get me around. My sky blue Accent got smashed in and I traded up for something more native to Tennessee, a pick-up truck. A black 4-door Nissan Frontier, 6-Cylinder, extended and finished bed with cable bars installed. Awesome, pure badass. Anyway, I got it because there were just too many times I was hit before by someone else and my tiny little car dented like it had been smashed in with a million sledgehammers. I wanted to feel safe, to drive away from an accident unscathed or hardly touched at all. I wanted to be above everyone else on the road, and I am. I love it, there are still trucks bigger than mine and semis that drive by, but for the most part I'm towering above all those cars weaving in and out of traffic on their cell phones all the while not paying attention to any of the people they just almost killed.
Driving used to be one of my favorite things to do, my parents would drive me around the block in Downtown Chicago when I was a little baby to lull me to sleep. I used to drive from Knoxville, TN to Atlanta, GA just to go out for a drink because I was bored and I knew I would enjoy a nice evening few hours in the car driving through the mountains. Los Angeles is different though, everyone is angry. Everyone; and it starts to rub off on you too. I am thankful that when I drive to and from work everyday on the 405 I am going against traffic. Not too much of a nightmare until I have a detour or surprise hiccup in my day.
My truck got hit twice within the first week of having it, once the first damn night and then the following workweek. Where my husband and I were living at the time we parked the truck on the side of the road in front of the house with the rest of the row of neighborhood cars and trucks. Well the person who parked in front of me, along the sidewalk between driveways, decided to also park underneath me. He had backed up so close to me when parallel parking that he had gone up underneath my bumper and pushed the whole thing up. I was so furious that day, my brand new freaking truck. Still, I was able to drive away from that. The second time my husband was driving and we were slowing down as we approached the house, with our blinker on, to pull into a parking spot alongside the front door. Well some young kid "sneezed" and closed his eyes and ran over the speed bump and rear ended us pretty damn good. My back got messed up some and my husband still has lasting problems from that accident. Yet still, we drove that truck away from that accident too. The boy ended up being underage without a license and without insurance. Fun. Really, fun. Well, yesterday I got off work at a decent hour and thanks to Daylight Savings had enough time to enjoy the sunlight and go for a hike. On our way to Lake Balboa where I wanted to hike we were rear ended by one of the oddest and craziest ladies I have ever seen. She hit us from behind and signaled to us before then continuing on for over two miles. We called the police, but  the woman would not pull over. Finally she weaved into the parking lot of some random restaurant and attempted a conversation. She was drunk and her words were slurred. Her driver side door was smashed in and I think her driver window had been smashed in as well. There was a trail of glass on the sidewalk from where she had opened the door. This was not her first accident today. As soon as I got out and walked to the front of her car I saw a nice dent and line from where she had hit the back bumper of the truck. Her words kept slurring as she made up excuses for taking about fifteen minutes to find her drivers license. She kept ranting about being a doctor somewhere in Los Angeles, and then she would stumble around  her car and fall into one seat or another and mumble on about something else I couldn't understand. I let my husband handle what was left, I sat in the truck and fumed.
Again? Really? Oh well, maybe this just means its is time to fix the front and rear bumpers after all. Can't be that expensive really. I sat there for the next twenty minutes or so before we left fuming and wondering how people could really be so stupid and make such stupid decisions. I am really a lucky man, my husband always does the right thing and always tries to make sure everyone is safe and taken care of no matter what. He is an honorable man. Enough on that, another entry there. It was just like the other times, an accident in a way. I had to move on and just get over it. I could pay my deductible now and get a new bumper. Not a big deal, I didn't really lose too much. My truck is still going very strong and it hardly sticks out after all the other bumps and bruises and scratches and scrapes. We are always going to crash into each other, whether because of our own fault or someone else's it does not matter. The key is to survive and protect those that we love and care about. The best way to do that is to hold on to our Joy and draw strength from it. Once we do that we are able to share that Joy with the people we love and the ones we care enough about to worry whether or not they will make it. To walk away with anger only hurts you because the other person is only going to be mad at you and not at themselves. Even when the other person is a drunken mess who doesn't care about the fact that they themselves are hurt let alone the fact that they hurt you.
We have to be able to walk away from our accidents in life like truck drivers. We have to make sure that we are protected and kept safe. Don't react with those petty quick emotions because those aren't real anyway. They are uncontrolled reactions to a situation or an event. Remember what is important and why it is important. Remember that even though something may have gone differently things aren't necessarily bad. You may have to wear those other jeans instead of your favorite with your sneakers to the event tomorrow, but at least your going with a hot date and you're going to have a blast. It sounds silly and cliche, but look at it like that. When you do you will laugh at yourself and things will coming into focus. Life is always going to be a drunk chaotic mess, the only thing we can do is carry on with Joy in our pick up trucks of strength fueled by our courage and love. Next time some unexpected hiccup happens try not to be too upset with the crazy person thrown your way, instead maybe show them a glimpse of the Joy that they apparently are lacking so much of. Show them the better part of you. 

The Joy of A New Day, A Fresh Start & A New Beginning

There are two best parts of any day, as cliche as it may sound, the beginning and the end. It all has to do with promise and hope. Every morning we wake up there lies before us the promise of a new day and the hope of a new beginning. As we lie in bed at night before going to sleep we sum up our day and look back on the things that have happened and forward at the opportunities that tomorrow brings. One of the things I like about my job is having two daily offices as well as other offices I periodically drop by, all within about a five to ten mile radius max. Since I am salaried I get breaks throughout the day as I travel to my office or back and it's nice to have those little drives to enjoy music, enjoy the weather, vent a little on my frustrations and pep myself up a little bit when I need it - which is just about always. Even these short five minute drives can help keep me going through a crazy day of doctor calls and client appointments and client accidents and Special Incident Reports and Universe-forbid Licensing from the State Health Department (not the kindest people on planet Earth).
The best drive though is the one that comes every morning after I leave my apartment. Having differing destinations my route isn't always the same, and even when it is I can change it up. The weather is pretty good here in California and I have my music from my iPhone to keep me going as I drive the truck. It's nice to breath in the morning air as I set out to work each morning even if all I want to do is head back into bed at home. Even yawning and dreary-eyed I enjoy having time to pep myself up for the day. I don't know if anyone really wants to go to work everyday, or maybe there are those lucky few out there who really enjoy getting up and going to work. I enjoy my job enough and I like being a nurse and all but I know that I would much rather be on the beach reading a book or traveling the world seeing new places. But, this is life and you deal with it and you keep going. So each morning we have a chance to talk ourselves up for the coming day that we have to face no matter what. This is where we can focus on the Joy that we have found for ourselves and really use it to charge up our batteries. I mean, find a silly song you love that just makes you grin ear to ear and play it when you pull out of the driveway while you begin to plan your day. Stick a little bobble-head of your favorite Disney Villain on the dashboard to snicker back at you as you drive. Get the figure from your favorite TV show or movie and put it up in the truck or put up a sticker in the back windshield that you can see through the rear-view mirror. You don't have to overdo it but it is nice to have those little reminders to smile and not take life too seriously. If someone else says something then so what, obviously they are taking life a little too damn seriously too.
Put yourself in a good frame of mind so that when you get to life and reality you are in a better place to face it. We are all going to face life every morning, we just have to make sure we face it with our best foot forward. Think about that this morning, how do you face each day? What do you do to help yourself attain and hold on to your Joy? This morning are you doing anything to help set yourself up to win instead of setting yourself up for failure? We all already have our arsenal and stockpile of Joy that we have found and built up. Use your mornings to tap into that arsenal, and use your evenings  to take inventory so that you don't ever forget the precious cargo you have hidden inside you. We so often forget our greatest weapon - ourselves. We are the keys and instruments to change, both within and without. Anytime is a good time for a new beginning, any day is the day for a fresh start - All it takes is you. As I have written before:

"Joy is endless, boundless. No matter how much of it you share there will always be more than enough of it left for you. On top of that, in a karma-esque way, it comes back to you ten-fold. When you share your joy with others, along with some peace and understanding as well, it brings joy to you as well. Those rewards are immeasurable."

Tattoos #4 & #5 - Honor & Truth

For tattoo's #4 & #5 I decided to finish out the balance completely and get two more words, one on the top of each wrist to match the ones already on the bottom. So far I had "Love" & "Joy," what would work with those? I remember debating for a while, going back and forth. Trying to find that meaning, those special words that just spoke to me. One word I kept coming back to, "Honor." Something about the word, I just love how it sounds. I love how old the word is, the meaning and history behind it. When I think of "Honor" I think of Knights and Kings and the ability to truly have power to your name. A title conveys so much, more than only a label. To be called honorable is to convey so much more than just who you are but what you stand for. A man, or woman for that matter, of honor stands for truth, courage and what is right above any and all else. 

I wanted something for me, something to remind me of justice and what is right. Something to aim for in this life, a goal worthy of achieveing. What can be more fulfilling, for yourself and those around you, then living a life of honor? Honor is a term that isn't used much anymore; the values of integrity, honor and truth have gone by the wayside in the not so distant past. In a world that moves so quickly it is easier to focus only on yourself and your own needs. What makes you better than this world, being able to take a step above it, is putting others before yourself. We only have one life to live and one set of choices we can make. Living with honor means living according to what is right and not just what is easiest or more beneficial. It means to have respect for someone, and it is considered a privilege.

I wanted to be reminded to live a life not just for myself, but for what was right. For what was worth standing up for. If I only have one shot at this I want to make sure that it's worth it and that I truly can make a difference and show others that they can do so as well. It is a privilege to do the right thing, not an obligation. I have one legacy I leave behind and I won't let it be one of fear, cowardice, selfishness, guilt or having to finish at all costs. It's not about the end of the race, but how you run it. 

What do "Honor" & "Truth" have in common? Integrity, that was the link connecting the ideas I had in my head. I needed those reminders to act with integrity, the integrity I knew I had, even when faced with impossibly frustrating situations. I wanted a chivalrous token to remind me of the man I needed to be. Truth was acting with integrity as well, more so speaking with integrity. It is a hard thing to always tell the truth because the meaning and implication of truth are far reaching and never ending. We can not come back from the truth once we have been exposed and yet we can not really live at all if don't live in the truth. There is the truth we tell, there is the truth we believe and there is the truth we live. All three are consequentially one in the same, just unique to each of us. Finding this truth about ourselves is something that for most takes a lifetime, but if we are lucky we can find glimpses along the way of life. Holding onto those flashes of ourselves give us a glimpse of the true us and the true self we are striving to find and hold on to. I chose "Truth" to remind me of the inner Jeremy, the true me that would always be there. That's the self I couldn't lose, couldn't really betray or hurt. I put "Truth" on my right wrist opposite "Joy," to remind me that the Joy I seek everyday to keep me going is based on my true self and the only way to share that joy with the world around me is to use my true self. "Honor" went right where is belonged, opposite "Love" on the left wrist. Where else does love belong besides with honor I asked myslef? Honor is the defense of love pure and simple. I knew the things I wanted to be reminded of and I knew their importance. It more than felt right. I remember having them done by a good friend who was leaving town, before he left he did them both at the same time in his apartment where he had made a big clean space and sterilized all his tools. It was an awesome experience I will never forget, and finally having my wrists complete felt freaking great. 5 down - who knows how many more to go! 

A Little Patience Goes A Long Way - We Are The Only Ones HoldingOurselves Back

Every day is filled with thousands of moments and thousands of interactions with the world around us. Most of those moments won't go the way we planned, but why would they? We can't control the future, we can only control how we react and adapt to things. We have so many interactions every single day, from the time we wake up to the time we go to sleep; we are constantly interacting with others. From your family to your friends to the people you work with to the strangers you run into on the street and out in public; we can't go through life without coming into contact with others. Even when we isolate ourselves, whether from fear, depression and anger, we can't cut ourselves off completely. You have to earn a living or make money somehow, even if it's just some kind of financial aide you still have to deal with offices and phone calls and forms galore. Even when we lock ourselves in our apartment to play video games we can't stand the thought of being alone so much that we now have headsets wired into the controllers in order to talk to other gamers. Phone calls, chats, texts, conversations - they are all forms of communication and interaction.

With our ever expanding technology we are constantly being connected in new and different ways to the people and world around us. From Facebook and Facebook Messenger to the iCloud & iMessage, with each passing generation we become more and more interlinked with the world. The internet makes it possible to form those bonds and links across borders and oceans. Our bubble has expanded from minuscule to global in only a few short decades. Along with that have come a whole new world and set of interactions and communications allowing the kinds of relationships that were never possible in the past. It makes you wonder where things will go next. 

Because this is still new to our species we are still adapting to it, it's meaning and its implications. Our own laws have trouble keeping up with things and our lawmakers and elected officials are paid to make sure that our laws stay current and applicable. If we can't even govern ourselves congruently then do we ourselves as individuals have any hope of navigating this messy and evolving world on our own? Of course we do, things are never as complicated as they seem. Our minds and society like to make things over complicated to trick us. One trick is due to its over analyzing and over thinking trying to do the right thing while the other plays with only winning and deceit in mind.  The trick is to not let yourself get lost in the chaos and the background noise over what is really important.
Whether we choose to accept it or not, the truth is that whenever we interact with someone it has an impact on us - positive or negative or somewhere in-between. We have a majority of control over whether these experiences benefit us our harm us, we just have to be aware of this power that we hold or we will never be able to yield it. Sometimes the effect is small and hardly noticeable and sometimes its much bigger than that. Remember back on those times you had a bad experience with some stranger in public, whether at a sporting event, movie theatre, park, mall or wherever else. Whether it was a glare that just rubbed you the wrong way or negative words exchanged the effect can be the same. It carries over into the rest of your day and ruins the joy you are trying so hard to cultivate and hold on to.
In the hurry of our day to day life it is easy to forget the value of a little patience. We get so caught up in our busy schedules and hectic lives that we often overlook the fact that by just slowing down and taking a minute to breathe we can not only positively change our own day but someone else's as well. All day long we are faced with stressors and annoyances that we can either let rub us the wrong way or we can shrug off and keep moving. Patience is a virtue, one that is too hard for most of us to even consider tying to tackle. The trick though comes in just letting go. Letting go of the illusion of control you think you have, letting go of the control you think you have on the world around you. Patience means accepting the world around you and allowing it to work in its own time to process things and bring about change. This doesn't mean they we can't stand up and help or give an extra push here or there though. 

What about that moment this morning when someone pulled out in front of you on the freeway or when someone cut in front of you in line at the Post Office? Sometimes it's hard to be patient with the world around you when it seems like nothing is going your way and everything is working against you. This is when it is important to realize and remember that there isn't anything you can do to change  your situation except to stay strong and keep pushing on. There is no giving up, there is no letting yourself or anyone else down. We are all in a hurry most of the time, our society teaches us that the only way to get anything done is in a hurry flying by the edge of your seat. Rarely do we ever take a moment to take a deep breath and enjoy this precious time we have been given. We get so wrapped up in the act of living that we forget to actually live. 

Rushing throughout our days we honk at the drivers that cut us off and grumble at the people that cut us in line at Starbucks. We grumble when someone takes the last sandwich at the company picnic and we curse the suck up who beat us for employee of the month. This thinking and course of actions only serve to hurt both us and the people around us. When we are impatient we allow two things to happen, we give others our permission to start tearing us down and we give ourselves permission to hold it against them. How does that help anyone? It doesn't. It helps no one. It leaves you open to being hurt and being torn down. We have enough stressful things that go on in our daily lives, we have to do what we can to make things better than they were before. 

When you scream at the person annoying you or flip them off as you walk or drive by does it really make you feel better or does it just release some pent up anger and frustration? We plant the seeds that grow into what our lives are to become. Those seeds sprout and grow and are carried along on our back as we go throughout our day. After countless interactions all day long, how do we really feel at the end of the day? Do we feel annoyed and stressed or do we feel calm and at peace? Most of the time it's the former. We let these little things get under our skin and tear us apart from the inside out. When we lose our patience it only hurts us and only serves to drive anger into our daily lives that we will carry with us and allow to eat us from the inside out. Those little snaps, the flashes of anger and frustration no matter how small, build up and stay with us throughout the day and have more of an effect that we know. That irritation stays with us and clings to us for the rest of the day. Instead we have to choose patience, choose the path of least resistance; the path of joy is what leads to progress, not the path to hate. 

We have moment after moment all day long to show patience and kindness to those around us. Let the driver pull in front of you, let the pedestrian cross the crosswalk, open the door for someone who's hands are full, let someone else take your spot in the elevator - the possibilities are endless. So often we are in such a hurry that we forget to be aware of what is going on around us. By having a little patience we can be an example and really show some joy to someone who probably isn't even expecting it. Being patient isn't just for ourselves, it's for the world around us. Being patient is like keeping yourself open in order to spread joy and hope openly to those around you. Patience is more of a gift than a virtue, and the rewards are immeasurable. We are the only ones holding ourselves back, we are the ones who decide how we act in the world and how we treat other people. This past weekend I spend time with my husband at the LA Waterfront in Long Beach, CA and we had a really good time. My favorite spot was along part of the boardwalk where there were 5 old anchors on display all around the planks for people to study and see. These old anchors, once lodged at the bottom of the ocean, now stand here for all to see. These beautiful nautical treasures reminded me of what we as humans are trying so often to achieve - balance and equality. Each of us has our own anchor, or set of anchors, that we use to keep us safe and grounded in rough times. When the sea starts to swell we all need something to hold on to. It is the same with patience and interacting with others, we have the things that keep us grounded in life and we must do all that we can to hold on to them and draw strength. Having those tow-cables and anchors help guide us when we feel lost and help slow us down enough to think clearly and with patience. In order to do this though we first have to find our anchor or anchors that keep us grounded. The only one holding us back is ourselves, but that isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes the anchors we hold on to help keep us from losing ground and floating back out to sea. Be patient, take your time today, hold on to your anchors and let them guide you. They are holding you at a certain point for a reason. Open yourself up and live life grounded enough to see that when you are patient all that you desire will eventually come your way. 

Springtime, Anytime - New Blossoms & New Beginnings

Today is a special day, a day in which the air is filled with the buzz of new beginnings and fresh starts. Today is the first day of Spring, a magical day where almost anything is possible. The first day of Spring marks the March Equinox, the Vernal Equinox for the Northern Hemisphere of Earth. We have an Equinox twice a year, each a time when the sun crosses from one hemisphere to another. Since our planet is tilted the northern and southern parts switch off which gets the most sunlight throughout the year. Hence, seasons. This Equinox marks the beginning of the Sun entering our hemisphere - giving us the warmth of Spring and Summer. In Fall it will cross once more and bring its warmth to the southern parts of our planet and we will have Winter. Another extraordinary thing about the Equinox is the fact that night and day are the same length, in Latin Equinox means equal night. It is a time of balance on Earth, when time seems to align momentarily as is to make sure everything is still in check. Today the sun rises due East and sets due West. It is the Universe aligning once again in its ever repeating cycle of limitless patterns. Draw strength and peace from days like today. Draw on the energy that is buzzing all around and weaving in and out of all of us. Take a moment and breathe, reflect. As Spring starts take a look at yourself, your life, how happy you are, what you want - look at everything. Let it all just wash over your mind so you can soak it in. This is a time for fresh starts and new beginnings. What do you want to change? Do you feel like there's something you just can't change but wish you could? Try. Go for it. Find support, make a plan, set a goal and don't give up. The first day of Spring is like hitting the rest button, life is jump starting outside as the cycle continues and life goes on as it always will. Use that momentum and energy to push and fuel yourself. On top of that, remember that today is also just another day. It doesn't have to be a big moment or special occasion to sit down and look at your life. To check and make sure you really are happy and joyful in life, you can do that any time anywhere. 

The first day of Spring is just special because as we drag ourselves out of the cold isolation of Winter we begin to stretch and spread our wings in the clear blue Spring skies. Take a moment today to look outside, step outside even and take a walk. Breathe in some fresh air, savor the peace and relaxation. Let the newfound energy and buzz from nature flow around you. Embrace the world around you today. Use this as an opportunity to take stock of where you are right now and where you would like to go over these coming Spring and Summer months. Spread your wings and fly today, the sky is the limit. 

Tattoo #3 - Strength

My third tattoo came more from necessity than me just wanting to express myself. I've never been the most confident person in the world and I worry about everyone and everything. Even when I am rock solid I can't see it because I am blinded by my self doubt and fear. I know that I can make it through or get it done, as I have demonstrated time after time, but my mind is what plays tricks on me. It stops me from moving forward, keeping me running in circles. I needed something to remind me of the strength and courage I already knew I had but would never let myself realize. Deciding on the word "Strength" after that was the only logical next step. But where? I had already balanced out my inner wrists; where would it really mean something? Before deciding, I remember thinking about how I wanted this tattoo to remind me that I have a backbone, strength. How I could accomplish anything I put my mind to. In my head I pictured it as me standing, hunched forward and shoulders slouched. My head bowed as I hang limp and lifeless from a single wire attached the the center of my upper back, like how a marionette is controlled by someone else's nimble movements. I imagined the string slowly being pulled up as if by God to bring my shoulders up and force my back straight and my chest out. Then I realized that I was God in that scenario. I was the one who could pull myself back up again. After that I knew where it was going to go, and there wouldn't be any need for balancing it out either. I got "Strength" in Old English font on the center of my upper back - right where that wire was attached. Right where I pulled myself up and reminded myself I already had a backbone. 

This is the one tattoo I don't really get to see very often because it's on my back and there are times I forget it's there. Now though, I have taken to looking at it in the mirror everytime I get out of the shower so as to remind myself of its presence. To always remind myself of the strength I still try to convince myself I don't have. It's funny though because everytime I picture or think about that tattoo I stand up and straighten my back without even realizing it. So it must have worked right? It's always important to have things to remind us that we are strong, because too often it is easy to forget. Don't forget your own strength; do something, even if it's just writing "Strength" on a post-it that you will see every day. Don't let yourself forget that you can make it, you can do it - even when you think you can't, you can. 

Tattoo #2 - Joy

After getting my first tattoo it wasn't long before I was itching for my second, and I needed to balance things out by getting one on the same spot on the other wrist. I thought for a while and I was having trouble coming up with what I wanted. Or more so, what I needed to be reminded of daily when I looked down at my wrist. We all want to be happy in life, we want that meaning and peace that come with understanding and acceptance. Happiness is not constant though, life is full of ups and downs. There will never be a time when things are going completely right. After having gone through some really rough times and trying to stay afloat by forcing myself onward, I knew that I needed something to not just inspire me but to give me the hope I needed as well. I couldn't get the word "Happiness" or "Smile" because I knew that there were going to be many times that I wouldn't feel happy and wouldn't want to smile. Those are the times the tattoo was really for anyway. I needed something realistic, something actually attainable but also a goal I would always be working towards. Then it came to me after hearing someone talk about the word "Joy." They described it as something different from happiness because you can't be happy all the time. You can be joyful all the time though. There will always be those dark negative times in our life, that is inevitable. With Joy though you don't hide or run from the storm, you face it head on because you know how to weather it. You have to find those things in life that bring you joy and you have to hold on the them, especially when things don't look so good. Those things are what will get you through to see another day. It's like having an umbrella with you when you for for a long walk. At first it may be nice and sunny, but when that rain comes out you'll need something to protect you. Your joy, your umbrella of hope, is what will bring you to the other side. Sure it will still be hard, you're shoes and pants will probably get soaked wading through rain puddles, but you will make it. Better yet, you will make it through strong and as yourself. When you have that joy to hold on to the hard times stop being so hard. Those joyful things bring you joy and hope not just in hard times, but all the time. They help give meaning to our short lives. 

So I decided to get "Joy," on my right wrist to go along with the "Love" on my left. Every time I look down and see it there I remember to look at things a little differently. Instead of focusing on the things that are going wrong I focus on the things that bring me Joy and motivate me. It reminds me that if I am looking at and reading that tattoo at any given moment then I have something to be joyful for and grateful about because I am breathing and reading. Things can't be that bad when you look at it like that. This blog stemmed from this tattoo that I got back in college. I started because I wanted to help myself find my joy and focus on holding on to it and using it for my strength. Now it has become a never-ending journey that I share with you. I hope maybe to help others see or find their joy, or even to just help comfort someone in a trying time. I want to help people come together through Joy to celebrate the good things in life so that each of us doesn't have to go at it alone thinking we are the only ones who are struggling. What is your joy? How do you hold on to it? How do you draw strength from it? The first step is realizing what Joy is, the second is going out and finding your own. 

Tattoo #1 -Love

Since I was a little kid I would look up at the older guys with tattoos and be so envious. I wanted to look like that when I grew up, I wanted to feel cool. At the same time I wanted it to mean something too. I want all the tattoos I get to mean something important to me. If I am going to have it for the rest of my life then I might as well really want it there. I remember with my first tattoo I would take a permanent marker and write it out on my wrist and just let it stay there for a day or two to see if I liked it or not, to see how it made me feel. 

I put a lot of thought into what I wanted my first tattoo to be and I finally settled on the word love. Once my mind had set it wasn't going to change, it felt perfectly right. That's how I know it was the right time and right tattoo, it felt natural going.  The whole thing felt natural, not like something I was making myself do or putting myself through. I had decided on the inside of my left wrist for the location and I wanted the word written in cursive. Why the word love? Well, to me it was simple. Above any other word love is the most important to me and I believe the most important in the world. Every action that happens is due to love in some form; whether it is brotherly love, friendly love, the love of a spouse or the love of a family member it is just as important. Even hate is nothing more than love turned dark. 

I also decided that I wanted that to be my driving word from now on. Love. I want to see it there so I can be reminded to act with love and to keep love in my heart, and my thoughts. Maybe it sounds corny, but to me it's important to be reminded of love every day. When we treat others with love we open ourselves up and allow ourselves to receive love as well. Every time I move my left hand or go to pick something up I see that word there and it always reminds me to stop and ask myself - Am I treating the people around me right now with love? Could I do anything different to show a little more love and maybe make an impact on someone's day. By expressing love we give ourselves the chance to affect real change. We make up this crazy world and its up to us to fix it and take care of one another. I still get angry and frustrated so easily, there are still so many times that I need to be reminded to act with a little more love instead of a little less. What do you do to remind yourself? What can you do? I got it tattooed on my wrist so that way I can never forget. 

My Joy - The Story of 15 Tattoos

We all have stories to tell; something that has always fascinated me is the way art can tell a story without having to speak or even elicit words. To me, that's what tattoos are. Works of art, whose canvas is the human body. The tradition goes back to the beginning of civilization in one form or another. People have always felt the need to put something permanently on their body, sometimes for others to see and sometimes not. It has been done as part of tradition, as an expression of self, to stand for or symbolize something, but always to mean something. Every tattoo I have ever gotten I have put thought into. Each one means something different and important to me. All of them, in some way, represent a piece of joy that I want to carry with me forever. I would like to walk you through the 15 tattoos I have, so far, and what they mean to me and why. Along the way we can learn some of the history and science behind tattoos as well. Maybe by sharing the story of my art I can inspire Joy in someone else. Here goes. 

Wave of Joy

Tonight I had the great pleasure of renting an amazing foreign movie from the iTunes Store that is still in theatres. It's a Norwegian film called the Wave. It's about a landslide that causes a tsunami, a giant wave that crashes down upon this remote little town. It's a great movie, a Hollywood disaster movie without the Hollywood - a bit refreshing to be honest. There were many parts in the movie that touched me or caused me to stop and think, but one of the most important came when the final remaining visitors and staff from a resort hotel were finishing loading onto their escape bus. The lead female protagonist worked at the hotel and her son was still missing so she turned back to the hotel because she refused to consider leaving until she had her son. Touching, but something we have all seen before. What came next was what really shocked me. A woman got off the bus and ran after the protagonist as she ran inside. Her husband, standing in the bus entrance yelled after her asking why she wasn't staying on the bus. The woman turned and simply said, "Her son is lost. Her son is lost, I'm going to help find her son." Or something to that effect - you know what I mean. I know it's just a movie written by screenwriters and brought to life by actors, but movies are a reflection of society and the culture from which it came. I think this movie can, in a small way, display how individuals in Norway think about helping others in times of crisis and putting others before oneself. The act itself wasn't what made it stand out so much to me, it was the way it was done and written into the storyline. A cultural or social practice reflecting into thought and therefore creativity and ideas, leading to its expression in art of all forms. If they made a movie about your life what would your character be like? What would the people you surround yourself with be like? What influences you? What influence do you have?

Now don't get me wrong, there are bad people in life and good people who do bad things too. In the same movie even there are many characters who selfishly try to extinguish others in order to somehow ensure their own future. That is the same everywhere though, the difference here was the act of kindness. It wasn't something I see normally in Anerican movies and films. I wish I saw it a lot more, it made me feel good and gave me a little more faith is some cultures and hope for others. Check out The Wave on iTunes if you want a great disaster flick,don't forget it is in subtitles and rated R. Let me know what you think, and remember - somebody's always watching and the best way to cultivate your own joy is to spread it to others. 

ITunes Store Link: The Wave by Roar Uthaug

https://itun.es/us/FVZFab

Rule #5 - Find Your Joy & Share It - Part 2

Here we are - the end is in sight! Well, the end of this lesson at least, the end of our troubles will never come. We can celebrate now though because we have 5 more tools, or rules, to help guide us on this windy path. First off, life is never clearly defined, there will always be gray areas. Secondly, the only limit to our dreams is our own effort, we are the ones who make our dreams reality. Thirdly, the expression of joy that connects us is love and if you want someone to show you love you must first be open and then be willing to treat them with the same respect. Fourth on our list, those difficult times that come second after second and day after day will never quit and the only thing we can do is lean to adapt. Fifth, in life we must find our joy and hold on to it so that it can keep us going through those dark tough times and help us grow through experience. Lastly, we must share that joy with others. We are all going through stressful times, whether they are large or small it doesn't matter. We are all connected to each other because we are all alive; we are all part of one big web of life that keeps us held together. We are all human and we all make mistakes, many many mistakes. Some over and over even. The point is that at any time any given one of us is going through some degree of stress, varying degrees of gray areas and levels of stress. By finding your own way you find your own joy and can use that to help carry and fuel you through the not-so-happy times. If we are all going through things why not support each other. It's not that hard. It's as easy as sharing what you already have, what you spent all that time looking for - your joy. The thing about joy is that it is limitless and boundless. No matter how much of it you share there will always be more than enough left for you. On top of that, in a karma-esque way, it comes back to you ten-fold. When you share with others and bring joy, maybe some peace and understanding as well, into their lives it brings joy into yours as well. Those rewards are immeasurable. 

There are two ways that we can share our joy with the world around us, or more to say two different kinds of joy to share. The first kind is the normal, general kind of joy that is common among most of us. This includes things like general acts of kindness; holding the door open for the person behind you, letting someone merge into traffic in front of you, sending a card to your friend when they are in the hospital, the list goes on and on. The point is that these are acts of kindness that spread joy in a normal everyday kind of way. The second kind would be more of an individual way. Finding our joy is a journey that helps us get closer to ourselves and learn what really makes us happy and what we want out of life. The things that we come across speak to each of us uniquely, which gives us an opportunity to help others in our own way. For example, it took me a while to figure out how to use it effectively, but I realized my passion was writing. When I write I feel alive like no other time in my life. I am creating something of my own and I am able to pour my heart onto paper and really open up to people. In that way I hope to make some small impact on this world that lasts even a little bit longer than I do. That is where this blog came from, that is why I put everything into it and don't hold back. If I have the chance to help someone or make someone think about things in a different way it is worth it. Find your joy, make it your own. Then live it so that when you encounter others you can share it with them. The sky is limitless with possibilities and there is more than enough room for everyone. Take flight and let your life take off. Learn to live in the present, then learn how to enjoy it. 

What brings you Joy?

What brings you the most joy in life? Tell me, I wanna know! Share with everyone! 🌎☀️😘

#JoyfulPursuit

Jealousy & Pride - Comparisons Inside & Out That Steal Our Joy

Finding the joy in life means finding those things that lift you up and holding on to them throughout the good and the rough times to help keep you going. Each of us is different, a unique individual, with our own interpretation and path to joy. To me it is a lot like religion, there are countless number of ways to find peace and any one way does not stand above another. Growing up I would always ask my parents about religion. What if I were born on the other side of the world, or in Africa? What religion would I be then? What religion would my parents teach me was the right thing to believe? If that is the case and we are told the same, who would be right? It is what you believe to be right. It is about faith, not religion. I just couldn't get over the fact that if I had different parents who taught me to believe something else then I would hold a completely different set of beliefs and would hold convictions with completely different faces. As I grew up I learned that it was about the journey and not the labels; if we strip away all the labels and words we put on things then we can see that it is all the same. All the beliefs are single strands leading to the same end, something bigger. Something more, that is what connects all of us, or so I have come to believe. I have come to the conclusion that faith is the same wherever it is found and it always leads to the recognition of a greater web that connects everything. This centered awareness is the goal of each faith and religion and each of us if we are honest with ourselves. One may call it Allah, another God. They are one in the same and not being able to see that has led to war after war since the beginning of time. Only when we realize that we are all the same on the inside can we start growing and connecting with the world around us in a positive way. Only then can we have that positive impact on the world. 

Jealousy is a very interesting emotion, probably the most interesting not just because of the complexities of it but also because of the so many things it can lead to. Not all of them are good. To me being jealous is like belittling your own joy. Instead of looking at what you have you look outward at someone else, automatically setting yourself up for failure because how can you ever be someone you are not? Even when things are rough we still have things to be joyful about remember, that's the whole point. Hold on to your joy. Hold on to the fact that you are still breathing. That you have a loved one. That you have shelter and food. That you have a job at all. That you have eyes to read and a brain to process your thoughts. When you are looking at all these amazing things you build yourself a life raft to make it through choppy waters and you are able to express that joy outwards towards those around you. It can be rough, I remember growing up being so jealous of all those Abercrombie models and pop stars, why couldn't I have a six pack and blonde hair and big arms? I felt inadequate and ugly for so long, but it drove me to become jealous long before I realized what I was doing. It wasn't just about me not looking like that anymore, it was them looking like that and me never being able to. I wanted to be them so badly and for so long my self-esteem was really messed up because I allowed myself to be influenced by someone else and who they were over who I really was. Being jealous is trying to take other people's joy. I want what you have. I want that job, or that promotion. I want that partner or spouse. I want that body. I want, on and on and on. Thinking these thoughts mean you are actively thinking about taking something from someone else for yourself, even if it is something intangible like control. You want something that is making someone else happy or joyful because you want those feelings for yourself. That doesn't work, it is not only toxic to yourself but harmful to others. Focus on your joy, not someone else's. 

A close relative of jealousy if pride, known to me as "over-inflated joy." Pride is when we take something that brings us joy and we put it on a pedestal to display for others so that we can brag and gloat in order to make ourselves feel like we are adequate and accepted. You are taking something good and corrupting it , which is stupid because in the end the only one hurt is you. When that pride deflates and that ego loses momentum what is there going to be left to help bring you back up again? It isn't always straightforward either, take for example being angry with a coworker after an argument at work and avoiding him or her. Shaking with anger you know you are right and all you can see is that they were wrong, apologizing would mean saying you were wrong and you are better than this person who treated you this way. You know better than him or her, you would never act like that. That over-inflated sense of self refusing to apologize is pride. Not being able to admit when you are wrong, or being able to compromise for the sake of peace, is the same as thinking you are better than everyone else.  Share your joy with others and hold it close for yourself, but not too close. Not so close that you begin to feed it instead of it feeding you. 

Being present and aware in life is important, we can only find joy if we are living in the here and now, but you can't be present when you are narrowly focused on someone else's reality in their own world. Being jealous you force yourself into someone else's joy because you want it for yourself, being prideful forces your joy onto unwilling others. Everyone always says the grass is greener on the other side, but that's because you're looking over the fence and casting a shadow over what you have. Things always look better from someone else's shoes, because we never really know what all comes with those shoes. It is all about perspective and seeing what is before your eyes and seeing what you already have. Try to find the joy in your own life and not someone else's, it will make it a whole lot easier to get what you're looking for in the end. 

Rays of Sunshine - A Poem

"Walking down the gravel pathway I shield my eyes
The setting sun shining through the branches of the eucalyptus tree ahead
Blinding me temporarily, but not disorienting me
Like being overwhelmed with too much brightness
My eyes soon come to adjust as a leaf falls from the tree
And lands on my shoulder."

Anger Not Only Destroys You, But The World Around You

Anger is something we all must deal with, a toxic disease that spreads like wildfire. Something that a lot of times isn't even under our control once it gets started. Frustration is a way of life, nothing is ever going to go exactly how we planned. We must learn to be fluid and flexible and adaptable or we will only suffer under the stress and weight of anger and guilt. When we hold anger in we only destroy ourselves, and when we express anger in the wrong way we hurt all of those around us. The hard part comes when we can't even tell what we are doing. Anger is irrational, you're making yourself upset over something you can't change now whatever it is. All you can do is learn to adapt. You have no control over your surroundings, and there are going to be so many times that those surroundings provoke a negative response from you. My problem comes because I carry my anger inside and don't let it out or talk to anyone about it and then it just boils over in one big mess. By that time I have no control over what I am saying or doing, my thoughts race and rational thinking is out the window. Once that starts it becomes very hard to catch myself because how can you catch yourself when you can't even think right? The trick is catching those thoughts when they first pop up and dealing with them then, or taking the time to deal with them before they become something unmanageable and you get even more upset. 

There are so many outlets out there. I love to write, it's a way I let go of all the stress and anger inside. Sometimes though that isn't enough. I need something to release before it explodes. I've found one good thing is walking or hiking. Use some energy and get outside. Clear your mind and release some endorphins. Go by yourself and reflect and meditate or go with a friend or partner. The key is to get it out. Express how you feel in a way you can control, that way your emotions will never control you. For me, when the anger really gets going the only thing that makes it better is getting a tattoo. I always get things that have obvious importance to me, but something about the pain of the needle and the release is intoxicating. After my two tattoos last night I felt like a weight was off my chest and shoulders. I was walking down Sunset Boulevard on air and this morning when I woke up I wasn't angry or frustrated at all. I haven't been in a bad mood all day because I don't have those pent up feelings anymore. I decided to get the Cancer constellation, the stars in the sky when I was born, and the symbol for mindfulness on my wrist. I found the mindfulness symbol just yesterday but it is so perfect. I've wasted most of my life, I never live in the present because I am constantly worried or stressed about what has or what will happen. I needed something to remind me to stay in the here and now. So I put it right under the word Joy because I thought true Joy can only come with mindfulness. I used the pain to help channel all the anger and frustration I've been feeling lately. I must say that I feel so much better now, and that mindfulness symbol has really had an impact on my thinking. 

Here's what the symbol means:

"This symbol is presented like a physical representation of present moment.

Vertical forms represent time – past and future. Horizontal forms represent space – 360 degrees. And the one is always in the center – being here and now – perfect equanimity.

Secondly, you can see a symbol of a water drop. This is the most often used metaphor to represent the idea of mindfulness. Only this water drop symbol is presented in a kind of mirrored way. But do not think about it, because as mentioned above, this is time – past and future, both are illusions, stay centered in the present."

http://www.radicalcourse.com/here-and-now-symbol-present-moment-awareness/

How perfect and how amazing. I knew it was the right choice. The whole time I was sitting there I was channeling all my negative thoughts and feelings through that tiny needle. While you may not like pain or be able to tolerate needles, look for and find something that speaks to you. Get those negative thoughts out before they poison you. Talk to someone, talk to your dog, talk to youself. Find a way to remind yourself to be mindful and present in the here and now because one thing is for sure, with bottled up anger there is no room for joy and no chance of healing. 

Guilt Is Selfish

My biggest flaw in life is probably the fact that I create so much anxiety and stress for myself that I lose focus on what is staring me right in the face - the present. Today I couldn't stop stressing about a situation I was going through and something that happened, specifically someone else's reaction to me and my reaction to theirs. Does that make sense? Anyway, getting into my truck this afternoon it hit me like a ton of bricks - all this over-analyzing and worry doesn't affect anyone else except me. I could finally see that all the anxiety that I create for myself is a form of guilt because all I am doing is going over and over something that happened to me, something that obviously bothered me. You see, when you are sure of your actions you don't go back over them again and again questioning yourself time after time. It is only when you have doubt about your actions that you look back, and then as well if you feel bad about your part in how a situation turned out. If you felt you had done everything right there would be no need for you to doubt yourself. That guilt that we drag along everywhere with us is for one person only, ourselves. Everyone else keeps on living their life and yet we find ourselves stuck and upset, stuck of our own volition. Guilt serves only to weigh us down and yet we seem to continue to create our own cages. Guilt is selfish and focuses only on how you feel about a mistake or conflict. It's like someone told me today, if you spend all your time in the past or worrying about what could happen in the future you really do lose out on today. People can go their whole lives never being alive because they can never learn to just be in the moment. That's another whole idea and living in the moment is a topic that can be explored infinitely, for another time. Right now it's important to make yourself realize that guilt is toxic and eats us from the inside out. Guilt is a metal gate blocking our way on the staircase up, a gate put there by us. We have the key to it already, the tough part is realizing not just that you put the gate there but that you are also the only person who can open it. Catch yourself when you are looking back with question or regret and stop - live in the now. Focus on what's actually happening around you at this moment in time. That's what living is. And what makes that so damn precious? The fact that our time to live is limited and infitismal in comparison to the big picture of everyone and everything. 

Rule #5 - Find Your Joy & Share It - Part 1

Part 1:

Here we are, the 5th and final rule on the road to finding joy. This one is the most important and it builds on the foundation of the first four. So many of us feel that emptiness, that void, left from the joy we know should be there. So many know that pain and longing for something more. What we seem to blind ourselves to though is the fact that the joy we want so badly is all around us just waiting to be seized. We have to be open to it when it comes our way, we must be able to recognize it and know how to accept it. We must choose to be joyful and live with intent. Never stop looking for the joy in life because it is always there, just coming from different places sometimes. Find the things that make you happy and hold on to them, hold them strong as a life raft and never let go. When the dark skies gather overhead those things that you carry with you are what will be your beacon of shining light in the storm. They are what will rescue you and what help carry you along through life. 

It may help to keep a journal, write down one thing every day that made you joyful. Or just write whenever you can remember to. Write before bed or carry it with you and write throughout the day. Use the Notepad app on your smartphone, or another journaling app. Make a photo journal if you like to take pictures. Do whatever it takes for you to recognize your joy and grab hold. You can start by looking for and recognizing things around you that you see everyday that bring you even the littlest spark of joy. Maybe it's the special coffee you get every morning or the color of the sky just after it rains. Maybe it's the smell of the ocean or maybe it's the feel of the forest floor. It could be reading a new book, an old book, a favorite book, a comic book or just about anything else. Joy is specific to each and every one of us, just stand still and listen - you will hear the call of joy. Too many times we put so much time, effort and energy into trying to be happy and joyful that we don't see what's right in front of us - joy itself. The noise that we make and the clamor from all of our actions drown out the truth facing us everyday. 

I recently saw a quote from Chuang-Tse saying "Perfect happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness." It is confusing to think about at first, searching and yet standing still. How does that work? Well, it's pretty easy if you just let go. Stop stressing, stop worrying, stop grinding your teeth, stop biting your nails and every other bad habit that exists. The active part comes from choosing to see the joyful things in life and focus on them even with the troubled and dark times. Standing still means taking a deep breathe to realize that you are alive and things will be ok. When you take a second to stand still and focus on your breathing or your heart rate it becomes much easier to rationalize and make yourself understand that in this moment you are living and thinking. For that alone you can be joyful. It is just like love, don't go searching for joy or you will never find it. When you search for something your vision becomes tunneled and focused and you lose sight of the things surrounding you, the very place where things are always hidden. Take a moment today to relax and focus. Try to do it every morning or everyday at lunch or every morning in the car. It can be for ten minutes for for two. Listen to your favorite song or look at your favorite scrapbook. Take a moment for joy because however cliche we don't know if we will get a tomorrow or not. We don't know if we will get a later today or not. We must treasure the greatest gift we could ever receive, joy to fill the short time we are here on this planet. We can get caught up in life and work and our crazy hectic schedules and forget that we are mortal and our time here is limited. We do forget to stop and smell the roses, which we say we don't have time to do now but what are we going to think and feel the day we die? Will we wish we had taken it in more then? Yea, probably, so let's not let it be too late. It's never to late to change, ever. Don't be like a fallen leaf carried place to place on the wind, let yourself take a minute and just soak it all in. Things are never as bad as they seem to be, don't let yourself get tricked by all these people telling you where to go and who to be. You are you, there's no changing that, and there's no changing that you are going to die someday - let's live the time we have filled with and motivated by Joy. Find Your Joy & Share It!