New Growth

One of my favorite things about the return of warmer weather is the change that starts to bloom all around. It's so energizing to look out and see the new growth everywhere. Even the most bare and dead looking of trees emerge from the cold and dark with sprouts of green fighting back the harshness of the world to emerge strong and new on the other side. The next time you feel bare or bleak look at nature around you, or if you're stuck somewhere miserable pull out your iPhone and Google your favorite place on earth. We, just like nature, are strong and persevere against great odds. Our resilience isn't always known to us, but that's the beauty. We are much stronger than we know. All we have to do is look back any length of time ago to see how far we have come from then. Problems have been dealt with and more problems are always to come but our wonderous sense of hope sprouts from our resilience that will always be within. We just have to remember and realize it's there. 

Lasting Impressions

Walking today I was reminded that sometiems the things we do and make as well as the things we say to others have longer lasting impressions than we realize. Events, ideas and emotions can cause ripples substantial enough to echo throughout time. Just take a look at the world around you, look at the details and peek inside the cracks. Soon you'll realize that we are not just surrounded by influences from the past, but we are made up of them. When you're making a decision, when you're leaving an impression and when you're simply living your day to day life remember how your presence can affect not just your world but the timeline of events surrounding you. 

Pick Up A Book

One of my favorite things to do is read. I've been reading for as long as I can remember. When I was little I would have much rather gone to the library than the mall. The smell of a new book will forever be intoxicating to me. My mom would read to be when I was still in her tummy and then every day after I was born. She read to my brother in the same way too. He loves reading just as much as me. He isn't a nerd like I am, but one in his own sense of the word. He has read almost every military and history book in existence I think. My dad and I are always talking about the books we are reading because we have read all the same things. I remember when I moved from Tennessee to California and my dad went with me, well I guess it was probably more like me with him since he did almost all of the driving. In my defense I'm really not that good of a driver anyway. I downloaded an audiobook, "The Lincoln Lawyer" I think. We started listening to it with my iPhone connected to the car stereo as soon as we left the house in Tennessee. I remember the first night never wanting to stop driving because I wanted to keep going and hear more of the story. It was something fun we could talk about. When the movie came out I loved it despite the acting because it reminded me of driving across the country, just me and my dad. I of course have that movie on Blu ray already. Books connect us all to the world around us and connect us through time. Although the Internet is amazing in its capabilities and evolution the printed word still has not gone out of style. I still go to Barnes & Noble once a week even though I have a brand new Nook I use. They seem to be doing pretty well. The written word was mankinds first developed way of communication and documentation. Books range from one end of the universe to the other and everything in between. There is a book for everyone and on everything. I grew up being taught the importance of reading and developed my sense of wonder and learning by delving into books of all kinds since I was little. In middle school all I would read were Star Wars novels, one of the reasons I started again, and I read just about every one in the library. Except the X-Wing series, I never did like that one so much. Then came Harry Potter and The Golden Compass and every other big book of my time. I read every book by Michael Crichton in sixth grade. I was reading adult novels in middle school, dragging them everywhere with me, even church. My book was my bible. I remember being told that I couldn't bring secular books on the bus during our cross country missions trip. Screw that, you better bet I brought one anyway and read the whole damn thing. This while listening to my favorite non-Christian musicians on my portable CD player. I've never let anyone tell me anything at all without checking first to make sure they were saying the truth. I didn't believe anything on face value. I pride myself in that. Our break out sessions on Sunday mornings in our youth group became another place for me to debate, asking questions that couldn't possibly be answered by religion and using logic that only the teacher got most of the time. Books have gotten me to where I am. They have taught me so much, including discipline and hard work. I hope someday to contribute to our rich literary world, until then and probably still after I continue to put pen to the keyboard and let everything bleed out. 

A favorite book or one that has emotionally or intellectually challenged you will always be a part of you and the person you have grown to become. I could write for days about all of my favorite books and why they mean so much to me. I won't though, don't worry. But I want to challenge you. Not only is reading fun and exciting but it also helps us develop our critical thinking skills and imagination. Find something to read, even if it's something small and silly. I recently got the anniversary edition of "Where The Sidewalk Ends" at Target and read it in a few days on my breaks. It was so unbelievably silly and goofy but I loved every second. It made me laugh and smile and took me back to a childhood I long for. If you didn't read as a kid then find something now that interests you. Start small with things like newspapers and magazines. There are legitimate online sources of information and it's right at our fingertips. Again, as I keep saying, we must only reach out and take a hold of it for ourselves. If you really can't stand reading something try a comic book or graphic novel. Try a coffee table edition on something that interests you. Try reading the first Harrt Potter book. The possibilities and choices are limited only by your imagination. 

If you are really stuck find a Barnes & Noble nearby and just go walk around. Get a regular cup of coffee and just stroll around for at least thirty minutes. See what happens. See what you find. Start a book, read something. Give yourself the knowledge, courage and hope you need to keep going. Talk to your friends. Read books together. Join a book club at the local library or one online. Read a book with your partner or best friend or even your mom and dad. Read a book before you go see its screen adaptation in theaters. There's nothing wrong with television and movies, I am after all a huge proponent of quality electronic media, but they leave nothing up to the imagination. Reading a story gives you the same plot line but let's you construct the reality for yourself instead of being told what to believe. Open your mind, open your eyes. Over the weekend I got the chance to go stroll through my favorite bookstore. It's a small used book store in Burbank. There are stacks and piles of books everywhere and up to the ceiling. Probably forty percent of the floor is covered in even more stacks of books. It was truly heaven. Finding books from my childhood and the books I've read growing up to this point. It made my heart ache and warm at the same time. Being there with a loved one made the exploring that much more fun and intimate. Find a used book store around you, the books are always cheaper anyway while still being in good shape. Find some silly books, find some you remember reading and some that look interesting. Bring ten bucks, see why you can find. I dare you. Tell me why you get. What are you reading? What do you think about it? Who's your favorite character? Why? Which character feels more like you? 

Be inspired, share the joy. Read, dream, hope, live.

Distractions

After what ended up being an amazingly long and stressful week at work I am excited for the weekend to start. I just need a break, not from work really, but from the problems going on there. I feel it constantly trying to run through my head, the problem in the form of distractions. There's nothing I can do now, the truth has spoken and I feel that I have done the honorable thing with integrity. I am just making myself not think about it and forget it all this weekend, no matter what it takes. I can't do anything and I know that I am just going to dwell on it all weekend. I have to put a stop to it now before it becomes an endlessly cascading mountain of burdens perpetually shoving me down and making me stumble. I'm doing my best to actively take an interest in my own happiness. Right now I put in "Frozen" to watch in bed before we go out to meet friends for dinner. I wanted something fun and light hearted and silly that was going to make me feel better and brighten me up just a bit. I'm being strong, as long as I'm strong I can make it through anything. 

Being from Tennessee, I have an immense amount of love and respect for the legend herself, Mrs. Dolly Parton. I could go on for pages and pages about her, but for now it's just one quote of hers that I want to share. I've been needing encouragement and seeing this quote made me just take a deep breath and try to make myself relax in the knowledge that I was going to get through this and it's going to make me stronger. "STORMS MAKE TREES HAVE DEEPER ROOTS." So simple and yet honestly profound. Looking at the natural world around us we can see examples of how trials and hard times lead to a strengthening and hardening. There are always going to be storms and tornados and hurricanes and floods and on and on, but just as the giant and legendary redwood trees have thrust their roots deep into the ground below them for over hundreds of years we too must use the stress and troubles of our lives to help us dig our roots down deeper to make us stronger. When storms come our way we can let them topple us over in defeat or we can use the inevitable to help build the person we want to become. Take some good advice from Mrs. Parton and instead of letting life beat you down look on the positive joyful side of things and make yourself more like the person you know you want to become. 

What is Joy?

Joy /joi/ (v) The conscious act of recognizing and accepting the negative while choosing instead to focus on the positive things in life

Doing The Right Thing

Being joyful is hard when it feels like the world is just beating you back over and over again. We have all been there so many times, and we will all return time and again until we die. That is the way the world works, the ups and the downs, the highs and the lows. There are certain particular events that can seem to obliterate any hope at ever seeing joy again and those that cause so much anxiety we stop eating and sleeping. It's hard not to get caught up in these events and get lost in the despair. For me, one of those events is tomorrow. Without giving too much away, some events have taken place at work over the past few months. I love this new job more than anything and would like to be there for the foreseeable future, but an administrator that works with me has been making me very uncomfortable. At first I thought because it was only words or comments or winks that it was ok because it wasn't really touching. I didn't want to have to out his secret in the process of bringing to light the events that occurred. With him on vacation so much more has come out that he's done and said and he has a history with it. He's gotten away with it before and is used to getting his way. He's manipulative and sneaky. He enjoys pitting people against each other just to entertain himself. I couldn't hold it in any longer. I told my administrator and some things from the staff come out to shed even more light on the revelation. In the end one of the director's was emailed about the situation;of course, I believe I have the support of my co-workers and administrators. The staff are the ones who came to me after all with stories of their own. Well, when I didn't hear from anyone until well past five I thought nothing of it. I can deal tomorrow and face it then. 

Then I got a text message. "Can you come meet me tomorrow morning at 10am?" Well, of course I responded yes. I am so nervous, so scared, so afraid. I don't want anyone to find out and think I'm trying to get him into trouble. I don't want to be the cause of gossip and rumors about him. I don't want him to somehow keep his position and then use this against me or to make me uncomfortable from now on. It's so stupidly scary and intimidating. Now that it's been said I feel better, and I didn't realize it was even weighing me down. My chest feels a little less tight and heavy and I feel a little less uncomfortable and anxious about work. It was the right thing to do, but I am still so terrified for tomorrow. What if no one believes me? What if he stays here at this house? When is he going to find out what I said? What is he going to tell others then if he's already trying to turn people against me? Am I going to lose my job? Would they just transfer me and leave him alone to make it all go away? These are all the thoughts barreling through my head at light speed and all at the same time. I can't focus. I have to keep stopping myself and taking a minute or two to just pause and tell myself to relax. I tell myself it was the right thing and that if I didn't do it then he would just do it again to someone else. How could I live with that? Even if something bad happens I can live with myself knowing I did the right and honorable thing. I want to act with integrity. Plus the ball is already in motion, there's nothing I can do to take it back or stop it now. Here goes. 

I still struggle every day and with just about every challenge. There will always be challenges and turbulations. When I start to think about the situation or I start to worry or stress I force myself to think of something in my life I can't live without. Something I am so thankful for. Most of the time it's my loving partner. Today my first "Joyful: The Pursuit of Life" shirts came in and I can't wait to wear it tomorrow. I focus on that for my Friday instead of the stress boiling over in my head. Now I can wear my tee shirt reminder to help keep me thinking joyfully all day long. The point is, it will always be a battle but the more armor and weapons you have the easier it is to win and the better chance you have at surviving. When it gets hard take a deep breath and make your mind focus on ony one thing. One happy thing. That, what you just did, that's being joyful. That's joy. 

Setting Sun, Rising Hopes

I took this the other night after leaving the apartment before getting in the truck. I looked up to see the dying light of the sun. The purples and blues were so amazingly and startlingly beautiful. The sun sets every day and there's nothing we can do about it, it will always set. But it will also always rise. Even when it's hidden behind rain clouds it's still there shining. All we can do is sit back and enjoy the beauty that's there if we take the time to see it. There will always be hard times and bad days but they won't last forever. We can't have the happy days without the sad ones. We just have to hold on to the little beautiful things surrounding us and focus on them. Only then can we make it through the darkest night. As the sun sets and he sky gets dark don't forget that soon it will return, and until then you might as well make the best of any situation because nothing is going to change. 

Love is Special, All Kinds of Love 😘 - PART I

PART I:

Love is key, love is life, love is joy. How better a way to go through life than filled with joy, love and hope. It is like a continuous cycle, each one recycling itself into the other for a never ending cascade of happiness. Love is what drives us and what keeps us going. It is the food for our soul and the source of our joy. That joy that we cling to so hard comes out of the love that we have for something or someone, from a partner or husband to a teacher or best friend. The Greek's had it right when they classified love into three words instead of only one single expression. To love is to live as breathing is to life. Everything we do is an expression of one form of love or another and the building bricks of love pile up to create a life of joy for us. 

Do you ever tell anyone that you love them? Lover or partner? Mom or dad? Friends or relatives? Your dog or your cat? There is someone in each of our lives that we love and to whom we can say that we love them, even if it is only ourselves. If you don't think there's anyone in your life that you love take a step back and really look at things. I think the best definition of love is the simplest, love is quite plainly the act of putting someone's needs before your own. In the case of looking within at ourselves it's important to remember that loving ourselves means accepting every part of ourselves and making sure we live up to own potential. I put my partners needs before mine daily without even thinking about it, it's become an automatic habit. I put my mom first when I call and talk to her on the phone for an hour and half listening and catching up. I put my dad before myself every time I buy and send him the last book I read that I know he will love or pick up a Blu-Ray or magazine I know he would like. I put my brother and his family, including my adorable little nephew Daniel, first by celebrating every holiday big and small with fun silly gifts and keeping in touch with him by texting at least every other day. I put the girls at work first whenever I plan my day around visiting them or when I bring them treats or candy or little silly gifts to make them smile and laugh. I put my administrators at work first when I do a few extra things in my spare time to help out. I put my little Miss Stormborn first when I wake up extra early to take her for a long walk before work or when I decide to go to that other park I like because it's the one she can go to with me. None of these things are particularly big or major, but they all create lasting   impressions on both the individual and the person they care about. The simplist things can turn someone else's day around. Think about that time when you were having a bad day and some random stranger did one tiny act of kindness, changing your whole day. All it takes is a poke and push in the right direction. All of those acts of kindness represent different forms of love. Love is infinite, but we can measure it by examining our own actions and the actions of others. When I am taking little Dany for a walk or when I am bringing home flowers and dinner to my partner I am showing love. Their needs are more important to me than my own problems. That's selflessness. The way that you love your mom and dad isn't the same way that you love your co-workers. Different people mean different relationships and varying degrees of commitment and love. The point is, however small or inconsequential, love is powerful and infectious. We have the ability to change someone's day for the better or for the worse, leading to any number of rippling affects in their lives. We are made up of memories and emotions regarding the people and world around us. By simply running into someone you have the chance to change the course of their day. 

The love you have for the random strangers living in the world around you is just as strong as the love for the closest thing to your heart. The only difference is that they are just that, different. Different expressions to a different degree of involvement. If we can say that we hate pickled pigs feet enough to never entertain the notion of eating one and that we hate our ex-boyfriend who cheated and stole five funded dollars then why can't we say I love you to the woman at 7/11 who holds open the door for us as well as our friends at work? I do understand that saying I love you is sometimes awkward and uncomfortable, especially for those people that are shy. It starts with seeing and then recognizing the feelings in you when they are happening. When we can see how we affect the world around us we gain the ability to exercise some semblance of control over our influence on people and events. If we are going to affect someone even unknowingly wouldn't it be better to at least know how you're affecting things? Every day we all have varying degrees of good news and bad news, besides lifting ourselves up, simple and small gestures of kindness from anyone can potentially help carry us through the turbulence we never even saw coming. 

So, examine your life, look at the things you did today in public, at the market, in line at the store, at work, in the truck and wherever else you just acted without thinking. Tomorrow try to recognize and think about the people you see and the things happening all around you. Look at your relationships and the people you interact with. Do you treat them like you love them? If you don't, then why shouldn't you? Treat others how you want to be treated. Laugh, but this is one of the few things in life that are sure as stone. Through time and experience we all learn just how true it really is. What's wrong with treating everyone with kindness, another word for an expression of love? Nothing at all. That is what opens the floodgates to joy, fulfillment and happiness. This is something you have control over, you just have to see it and take ahold for dear life. When you talk to someone on the phone or send an email look at your wording or think about the tone of your voice. Could you be a little nicer? If you added a "Hi, how are you?" or "How's your day going?" would it make things smoother and easier while making both of you feel better? The little things are the things that count. Stop and think about it. Love is powerful and it has a million faces in an infinite amount of forms, don't ignore the easiest way to find joy - spreading it to others. 

Keep Calm and Be Joyful!

I know they may seem cliche now, but I couldn't help but have some fun today with these pictures. They may be silly but they can be used as constant reminders to smile and let things go. It's always good to have something to smile at. Save it, print it off, screen shot it - do whatever it takes to put it in your daily routine. Use it to remind yourself that life isn't so serious and that those few seconds you take to laugh are well spent. Enjoy life, even bad days have their ups, especially if we make it good for ouselves. Be strong, be faithful and don't give up. Keep calm and be joyful! 😘

Let the Rain Wash It All Away

Tonight, during the movie before bed, I got up to pour a glass of chocolate milk and when walking past the open sliding door I looked outside and caught a glimpse of this. I love the glow of the green lights on the pole at night and seeing the damp wood while hearing the splatter of rain made me stop and take a sigh. As I breathed out I couldn't help but grin for a fraction of a second. The smell from outside was intoxicating. I love the smell of rain. It smells so fresh and new. So clean and so peaceful. I play the sound of rain combined with other things on my iPhone while I sleep at night to keep me peacefully dreaming. Most of the time it works like a charm too. Maybe it's because I'm a Cancer, a water sign. Or maybe it's just because rain is naturally a cleansing and mystifying healer. It doesn't rain much here in California and when it does it's mostly for ten minutes on and off for about a day, never getting more intense than a light downpour. Tonight though, Hollywood's biggest night, the rain has been falling steadily and surely in the land of golden opportunity. I am loving it; I hope it lasts until tomorrow. 

Take some time and smell the air outside, especially if it is raining now. The next time it rains, like before bed, take a moment to breathe in the cleansing aroma nature is sending your way. Look at the world around you, transformed and wet. Cleaned, renewed. Renew yourself, use the beautiful and joyful things around you to keep your battery charged. Nature is a continual source of beauty and hope, just take a moment to stop and look at it. Breathe it in. Inhale deep. Enjoy everything you can with the senses you have been given. We have an amazing opportunity to learn, grow and find the joy that already exists all around us. Take advantage.🌙💦💧☁️

New Tee & Promo!

Check out the new "Joy" themed tee available now. I love the "Joy" logo, so simple and yet startlingly honest. Hope everyone likes. 

The new promos are out now too! I love them! Save and share and spread the joy. Once we've tapped into our own fountain of joy, spreading it to those around us becomes part of the awakening and an honorary duty so sacred because it brings joy right back to you instantly! 

Make It Special!

There aren't too many occasions in life where we have the opportunity to dress up and have fun. When we are young we look forward to Homecoming, Prom and Graduation. Our parents spend so much money on tuxedo rentals and limo rides or brand new dresses and flowers, all to make us feel like we are stars. As we grow up there become fewer reasons to dress up, going out with friends turns into late night soccer practice before the big tournament and the lunch dates with friends or that special guy turns into weekly dinners at your parents house so they can feel you are still a part of their lives. Tradition and family are important, but so are we too. We don't always have to put ourselves first but we have to make ourselves a priority. We are special, and we have to constantly be reminding ourselves because we tend to forget it before we've finished thinking it. 

You don't have to take time away from other things or commitments, just make those occasions you do have memorable. It doesn't have to be much, anything that makes you laugh, smile or feel better about yourself. When you have a presentation at work plan out what you're going to wear ahead of time. Pick out your favorite shoes, go get a necklace or ring or something new to match with it. It doesn't have to be much. The act of planning and the anticipation for even the little bonuses are the fuel we need to keep our joy production high. I have my concerts and visit back home to Tennessee coming in April. Those things I look forward to because I am excited about them and they help motivate me to get through all the crap until then. But what really makes it special are the plans around it. Picking out what I want to wear to the concert and what clothes I want to bring back home to wear are all little things but they give me control over my happiness, my joy. I'm having fun planning the trip out with my mom, building the anticipation. Give yourself something to be joyful for. 

Another example, tonight we are going to an Oscar viewing party in some loft in Hollywood. With my partner being involved with the entertainment industry I've jumped into the world of Hollywood. These parties still intimidate me, no matter where they are or who is throwing them. Most of the time it ends up ok, but I do things to make myself feel more comfortable and confident in myself. For tonight I am going to wear a black polo with black slacks and white suspenders with a black and white splashed bow tie. I'm going to wear my favorite black designer boots. I got a new bracelet from the store and new underwear too. Just to make it more fun and exciting. I love my new white suspenders and with the bow tie I picked up, for less than 6$, they will look even more awesome. I have to look hot and stand out without looking weird or like I'm trying too hard. I just try hard, not too hard. 

Tonight I am going to feel awesome. I'll be in a newly designed and newly accessorized outfit and I'll be standing up tall. Make yourself feel good. Make yourself feel attractive. Yes you can do it to get the attention of your loving partner, but more so do it for yourself. By expressing yourself, feeling confident and smiling you flood your night with joy. It can be as small as wearing that sexy new leather jockstrap everyday under your jeans or buying a wristband to make you smile because at work today someone got into an argument with you and pushed your buttons until the simmering reached a boil. The day you have a presentation at work plan on wearing your favorite tee shirt under your button up to give you that little extra boost. There are numerous events coming up for each of us, from the first day on a new shift at work to the dinner you are having with your best friend from college next week. Make them special, that way even if they disappoint it won't matter because you'll have that blanket of joy to wrap yourself in. I can't wait until tonight, my sexy new outfit, a haircut I finally love and my newly grown beard. I'm going to make tonight joyful; it's up to me. No one else is going to give you the keys to your own castle. Open the door and let yourself in! 

And Things Continue to Progress

It has begun. This evening I put the finishing touches on the new business cards. I'm hoping by having these and passing them around I can spread the word about "Joyful: The Pursuit of Life" and help our thriving little community grow. Maybe I can hand them out to people or leave a stack somewhere. I could drop a few in random places or "accidentally" leave some on countertops and benches. The opportunities are endless. Mainly though I'll be able to spread the joy easier by word of mouth and interacting with others. I am so excited. This has really given me the opportunity to start and be involved in something. It's given me something to work on. I can put all of my creative and imaginative forces to work on a common goal. I am so proud and so excited. I can't wait to share this joy with the rest of the world around me. I welcome this challenge and this adventure. Create your own adventure. Go wild, be crazy and have fun! The sky is the limit, go for it. There's no such thing as failure, only growth. There's nothing to fear!! Do it now before it's too late and there's no time left. 

Get Out And Do Something, There's A Whole World Out There To Explore

People I know are always commenting to me about how my partner and I are always out doing things and going places. My friends on the Facebook are always surprised to see the pictures I post on the weekends and most of the time during the week too. I guess it surprises me so much because to me it's just normal. That's how I grew up, how my brother and I were raised to be. And I've stayed like that even as an adult. That natural curiosity and wonder of the world around me is what drives me and keeps me happy and interested in life. What's the point in trying to be joyful when we don't open ourselves up to new  and different experiences. We should always be trying something new. Yea it's easier to just sleep in and lie around all day watching movies and TV on your day off, but where does that get you besides feeling even more miserable in the end because you didn't accomplish anything. Not even anything for yourself. The time we have to ourselves or to spend with loved ones is a blessing, one that isn't renewable. This day will never come again and soon we will reach the day where there are no more tomorrow's. You won't be able to go back and fix things, change things or redo things. Don't give yourself the chance to have regrets. 

There are things all around us to do every day. There are parks all over, find a different one and go for a fifteen minute walk on your way home or on that lazy Saturday afternoon. Walk around the neighborhood and see what there is to see. Notice the small things that you normally just glance right over. Get online, look up free things to do. There's always museums, malls, concerts, events, shows and an infinite amount of other things. Find what you like. Find something you don't like and go try it out. Challenge yourself, push yourself. There are always things to do, you just have to get up of your ass and do them instead of complaining and wishing your life were easier or different. Everyday my partner and I take Daenerys on at least a one and a half to two mile walk. We change it up and go to different parks or different neighborhoods every day. I normally take the freeway most of the way to work, yesterday instead I took Sepulveda Blvd all the way. It ended up not taking me any longer and I enjoyed the change in scenery while I was listening to my music and drinking my morning cup of coffee. It's the little things that count and matter. Make a small change, do something small. Go play a game of miniature golf or go walk around the zoo. Go to the Natural History Museum or go see a documentary in IMAX. It's all up to you, the choice is in your hands. What's the point in envying others and the lives they lead when we have every opportunity to make ours just as exciting. Today we drove to the LA County Fairgrounds, a trip that took at least an hour, but it was worth it. We went to the Pet Spectacular expo, the same one we went to last year. All we had to pay for was parking. It was a beautiful day too, so even in the car we got to talk and laugh and listen to music. Dany got herself a little miss princess collar too. Have fun. Go do something. Spend twenty dollars on a dorky silly activity with your friends or loved one instead of buying that extra Blu-Ray, video game or meal out you don't really need. You're free time is your own, but in the end you can only hold yourself accountable if you miss out on the life you wish you had lived. Make your own adventure, no one else will.

Get Out Your Scanners

Having something to put your heart into does more than just give you something to do, it gives you an important purpose in life. A purpose important to you, the person whose opinion is the only one that matters. You have to live with yourself, the decisions you make and the way you choose to live your life. Starting to write again has really breathed a new kind of life into me. It has taken something that I really enjoy and that is therapeutic for me and given it purpose. Given me purpose. It's forcing me to really look at myself and my actions every day. I'm always thinking about ideas and thoughts that I want to share or write about. It's always at the very least in the back of my mind. Getting to the design part and integrating technology is just a major plus. More of the things I'm good at all combined and working together to achieve something for me. Something that makes me feel important, even if it's just to myself. It feels good to put the things I know and am good at to use. Designing a shirt, a website, a logo - all of it. It's invigorating, it's exciting, it's mine. All mine. That feels awesome. Try it out, find that thing that you're good at that brings you joy, no matter how silly or trivial it may seem to others. Live your life for yourself and enjoy the one shot you have here on this earth.

So, here's the new QR code for "Joyful: The Pursuit of Life." Save it, take a screenshot, post it, email it and share it with your family and friends. Spread the joy and keep on smiling, you decide how happy and joyful you are in this life. Take control and help share the joy with those around you. 

Enjoying the Classic Memories

One of my favorite things to do as an adult is revisit my favorite things from childhood. When I was growing up movies like "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre," one of many in the flood of remakes, were classics to me. To me it was all brand new; the Star Wars movies of my parent's generation that I grew  up watching everyday were replaced by the new trilogy of Star Wars movies that marked my childhood. It's funny how things change from generation to generation and how ideas and sentiments are replicated over and over in different ways across time. Then of course there were the classics of my childhood, the original movies that I grew up with and treasure still. "Home Alone 2" will forever have a place in my heart since I can remember watching it every Christmas with my mom, my dad and my little brother. It was one of my mom's favorite movies. I have the first two in a set now on Blu-Ray and I watch them all throughout the year. When I am feeling lonely or missing my mom I pop it in while I lie in bed trying to fall asleep or when I am up moving around the apartment doing things so I can have something to make me laugh and keep me going.
It's like wrapping yourself in a warm blanket that's always there, and what's more you can have as many blankets as there are memories in your heart. "Mrs. Doubtfire" played an integral part in my childhood. I know the entire thing by heart and still I can laugh at all of it just like it was the first time. Just thinking about that movie makes me grin so wide I can't help but giggle. Get this, my partner works with the film, television and music industries and he has so much memorabilia it's crazy. One of the things that he brought out for me to enjoy was one of the original studio lamps from the opening scene of "Mrs. Doubtfire" with Robin Williams in the studio recording a voiceover for an animated parrot. You can see the lamp right there, the producer or director or whomever in the studio with Robin Williams has it on his desk. As you can probably imagine I went nuts. I mean seriously?! One of my favorite things from growing up, something my brother and I watched over and over countless times together in all the houses we lived in, was alive right in front of me. It was, and still is, surreal. You have to really hold on to and treasure those things that have kept you going throughout the years. They kept you strong for a reason. Whether it is a song, a movie, a tradition, a picture - whatever. Cherish the things that bring you joy. So often when we feel like there is nothing to be happy about we forget that all it takes is a look inside. Holding on to those feelings, that power, that drive, keeps us strong in our times of weakness. By remembering we not only remind ourselves of happy memories of the past but we continue to keep them alive. Not all memories are good, some things have negative connotations to us. That too, with time, can be turned around as well. The old saying is true, what doesn't kill you most certainly will make you stronger. You just have to step up to the plate and be willing to fight once you've been given the strength. There are still a lot of things that I avoid at all costs because of traumatic memories I have associated with it, but slowly I am trying to teach myself to get over that and to turn it into something positive. I can not go back and make those bad things not happen, no matter what I will still have gone through what I have because it has already happened. We are stronger if only because we made it through to the other side. Surviving itself is strength. Those negative things will always have their negative memories but you can begin to associate a feeling of triumph over time because you made it through and no matter what happened you are still standing. That alone is a reason to be joyful.
Positive memories and traditions are the best because they make us feel all warm and happy inside, but those negative memories once converted can be an even stronger sense of purpose, motivation and strength. Do all that you can to hold on to the precious memories you have, they are what help define you, and be willing to let the hurt go and turn that pain into something powerful, something for you. Tonight I watched "Richie Rich" and last night I watched "Sister Act" and "Double Jeopardy," all classics I remember from growing up. No there weren't awesome special effects or sound technology, but they mean something to me and they make me laugh. They bring joy to my heart and serve as a perpetual reminder of the good things I have to be thankful for in my life. Holding on to those positive happy things is what will keep you going. Trust me, I know. So go rent or order your favorite movie from when you were a kid. Curl up alone, with someone you love or with the dog. Just get comfortable and let the world sink away for a little bit while you relax and remember just why you are happy to be alive - even when the world around you can be crumbling down.

A T-Shirt All My Own

Last night I was up late watching tv and working on my new little project. It's something I've thought about doing many times on many occasions, but this time I have a real reason to follow through. I took the new logo and put it on a t-shirt. I've designed so many shirts, alone and with my friends. This one though just feels right. More importantly, it means something to me. It's something I can be proud of and have fun with. The sky can be the limit as long as you use your heart to follow your imagination. Coming soon in baseball tees and girl's tees in pink, yellow and blue. All it takes is an idea and a little bit of drive and hard work. It doesn't have to be something huge. Make it something for you. The joy that comes with having a dream or idea and following through is priceless. So often we have so many ideas that we disregard as silly, pointless or impossible. Imagine if  we followed through on even half of those ideas. Think of the things you could accomplish. 

Simple Tool #1 - A Little Great Escape

For a while I've been thinking of starting a series or a set of posts that allow me to share the certain things, people and activities that bring me joy. The first one I am calling "Simple Tools." It is exactly that, a collection of simple little things that are so easy to do they will almost come naturally after a while. We can all use a little more joy in our lives, I'm hoping to share some tools I use to help me in order to either help you or help you find your own way. Joy is contagious, passing on these tools passes along infinite opportunities to create ones own joy as well as paying it forward to the world around.
One of the easiest and most simple ways to get a little joy out of life and gain some perspective is to just get up and go for a walk. I'm serious. The act of getting up and going for a walk helps your cardiovascular system, helps work out your muscles and eases your troubled mind. Getting even thirty minutes of exercise a day can do wonders for your health, including your concentration and sleep. For as long as I can remember I would always go for long walks whenever I was upset or stressed out. In college I remember going for ten mile runs to shake off all the anxiety and jitters after studying for one of my big nursing exams. The best part was the feeling when I was returning back home. Everything looked a little better and most of my problems had worked themselves out in my head while I ran. Sweating out all those toxins made my body as well as my mind feel reenergized. I was refreshed. Whether I thought things through as I ran, made a plan in my head or just let things simmer I always came home with at least a goal and a starting point. It was like hitting the reset button when life got just a little too crazy. Just getting out and being active increases self esteem, decreases stress, increases ones sense of well-being, leads to better rest and the list goes on almost indefinitely.

I remember my first two years as a new nurse on a medical-surgical floor in a hospital very well, including how I used to go outside on my lunch break every day for thirty minutes and walk around the pond next to the hospital. I would walk and eat or walk and drink. Sometimes I would just walk. Even when it was cold I would eat my lunch quickly or on the go so I could go straight outside for a walk all bundled up in my winter coat. The fresh air, even the cold air, always felt so good after the stale hospital air. Whenever I went back in and got back to whatever I was doing it seemed so much easier. The mountains weren't even mountains anymore. Besides, after eating I would go walking instead of sitting, helping to digest food and boost metabolism. As a new nurse with seven patients a day my mind was racing twenty-four seven. Even when I would get home I would sit at my kitchen table and go over every patient and every step in my day. In the end the only thing that freed me was making myself let go. One of my tricks to do that was going for a walk. When I quit smoking cigarettes I started running the next day, running more and more and faster and faster every day. It was hard as hell, but it paid off. I built up my strength and resilience.
Today I go for walks all the time. My partner and I are now going at least two miles every day. During the day we will text each other and come up with where we want to go that day, and as soon as I get off work I come home to change so we can go. Miss Daenerys Stormborn, our little deer chihuahua, comes with us almost every day. She loves it and looks forward to it just as much as we do. There are certain spots and parks where when we pull up she starts going crazy in the truck because she knows exactly where she's at. The squirrels are her favorite, she could chase them for hours. It's funny to watch them tease each other. She makes me forget about everything going on, even the stressful things I was planning on going over and over in my head while I was hiking. Watching her run and play is priceless. She gets this little smile on her face that just makes me grin. Dany only has me and my partner, we are the ones who take care of and provide for her. In that same sense I also believe that it is our responsibility to make sure she is happy and lives a joyful life. I love doing things for her just as much as I do for my partner or my friends. I love it when she gets excited, I know that she really means it. The joy is limitless when it comes to dogs, or really any pets. Thousands of books have been written about it, but it all boils down to one thing. It is the same as with for people, we are passing joy along to someone else. This someone else just happens to have some fur and paws. The reward it just as great though.
Anyway, back to the walk. Dany loves going exploring with us and we love bringing her. She is a piece of our little family. You can go with your family, your friends or alone. Being with people who care about you always helps ease your mind and relax you, just as sometimes being alone and just taking in the silence is the healing we need. A walk can be for five minutes or it can be for hours, it's up to you and how much time you have. Now at work I park out in front of one of the houses so I have to move my truck every hour. Those five minutes of walking and moving the truck are little breathers that help me wipe my slate clean and get through the day without a problem. Sometimes I'll take a lunch and go for a walk in one of the parks down the street for thirty minutes or until I am relaxed enough to return. One of my favorite things to do when I am stressed is to go to Wal Mart or Target and just walk around. I am weird I know. The point is there are a million reasons and a million ways to take a walk. Inside, outside, up the stairs, down the stairs, running, walking - whatever it may be. It's about you and bringing yourself that calming sense of joy.
Make it a regular habit and part of your routine. Then when something comes up that's unexpected you just take a step out and walk it off. Go around the corner, around the block or around to the other side of the park. The point is, just go. There's always time. Maybe after work you walk around the parking lot or down the block and back before getting in the car and going home. Walk off the day, get everything off your mind. Relax yourself, it's what you want anyway. Why not actually proactively do something about it? Today at work one of the guys hadn't used the bathroom, and he had a history of stomach problems, so I took a break and went for a walk around the block and neighborhood with him. I had fun and it kept me smiling the whole time. Of course it worked, but taking the time to go with him is what did it for me.
I challenge you to add more steps to your day. Phones are now coming with built in pedometers, there are fitness bands like the one each of us have that count steps and other things. It's an easy way to track yourself and increase your stepping actively. Even if you don't have any of that, try to add steps to your routine. Park in the back of the parking lot. Walk all the way around the store before going to the check out line. When you walk to the mailbox take a few minutes to walk down the street and back. Go in the side of the mall farthest from the store you want to go to. Have fun with it, I do. Make it a challenge or a game. Find silly little ways to randomly, or habitually, get yourself going. You will feel better, I promise. Joy is an elusive thing, mostly because we have so much in our heads blocking it out. There are things we can do to help focus and relax and really take a look at ourselves and the world around us, simple little tools to survive. The first one is this: take a hike, go for a walk - clear your mind so that you can be productive again and get more of the stuff done you want. Taking a break works, starting back with a fresh battery at one in the afternoon is sure as hell a lot better than running on twenty percent voltage. Take a loved one, a pet, with you or go alone. Do what feels right, just do it. 

Joy Is Having Something All Your Own

We all need something to call our own. Something to use to define who we are and give us an identity. Of course there are so many things that make us up, so many different combinations of emotions and experience. What I am referring to though  is having a hobby, an activity, some interest that you can learn, develop and grow with. Each of us has our own individual strengths and weaknesses. We use these strengths combined with hard work and dedication to get to the places we want in our career. What we often forget is that those same strengths were granted to us, passed down and inherited through our genetic material, for the betterment of ourselves in pleasurable ways that are the source of our joy in this world. For example, the medical transcriptionist or journalist who spends his or her time posting online news articles on assignment are both talented and gifted when it comes to the written word. That talent will be with them throughout life and the more it is developed the more joy they will experience. Yet, the joy that comes from writing should also help define them personally whether through journal writing, an online blog, a book draft, a manuscript, anything. We all want to be good at something, we want to feel completed by our latest project or praised by our friends for the effort made; we want to feel the joy and satisfaction that comes with feeling like we have lived up to our potential. That comes when we take what we have and actually use it.
It took me a long time to really find something I could get into. Growing up I played soccer for six years when I was really little and baseball for a year before realizing in middle school that sports just really weren't for me. I always felt bad because I wanted to belong somewhere, feel like I was good at something and could be proud of it. Of course I had school, which I excelled in with ease, but that wasn't the same because it wasn't really directly for me. I was on the varsity debate team in high school and college, even qualifying for state with persuasive speaking, but after school there wasn't really much else I could do with that. So much of my time is spent on my phone and laptop playing games or messing around online wasting time. Here recently, having finally landed in the job of my dreams, I started feeling anxious and restless. I loved being at work, especially being on salary now, and I had so much fun at home with my love and our little puppy. I still felt like something was missing. Something for me. When I was at home I was always on the edge of my seat or the bed just waiting for something to really sink my teeth into. Something to let me forget about the world around me and feel pure bliss. These are the moments of joy we spend our lifetime searching for.

The right idea has to come along at the right time and an explosion will happen so bright and so forceful that you will feel its ramifications all throughout your life. You have to be searching though, vigilant in your pursuit and search, or else the opportunity will pass you by without a second glance. For years, most of my life really, I've kept some sort of journal on and off. The feeling in my chest after I finish writing, I can't explain the weight lifted and the pressure relieved. It's helped me get through a lot in my life. It's funny to go back and read the things I wrote years ago. I would write some short stories or poems here and there, nothing too substantial. Over the years I had so many ideas for books or stories that ended in a fizzle instead of a bang. So many beginnings, and so little follow through. Nothing just ever felt right enough to go back and finish. My partner had made some suggestions and encouraged me the best he could. Still, nothing caught my attention. One day, in passing, one of the administrators that works with me told me I should start a blog online. Something I could do every day but wouldn't really take any effort because it was already what I enjoyed and wanted to do anyway. Something sparked and for a few days brooded, adding ember to the flames. I finally gave in and just got on my laptop and started the process. It was actually quite easy and fun. The name and topic took me so long to decide on, and yet at the same time as soon as it popped into my head I was sure. It felt right, like a final puzzle piece falling into place. Once I started it took off in my mind and came as naturally and reflexively as my daily routine. It became a way for me to vent my thoughts and feelings in a positive way that just might help someone else too. I had finally found something that made me feel truly good about myself. When I fall asleep now I know I have done at least one thing on my own today to better the world around me in the best way I can. 

Most of us know our strengths, for those who don't keep on looking. Sometimes it takes a million mistakes to finally step back and see nothing worked because you already had the answer all along. I have been there, for the good and the bad. I don't know how long this will last, but I know that as long as I keep going I am not only having fun but making myself look more positively at the world around me. Helping others is the added bonus. Today I finished making the new logo and it feels so awesome, I am so excited. It's me in every way and every symbol and detail is an expression of who I am. Now it will represent my work and myself, how perfect. Aren't they one in the same anyway - to me they are. Use your strengths for yourself, give yourself something that is all your own. Something that brings you joy, even the silliest and craziest things can help influence the world around you in positive ways. Find something, something you like, something you love. Make it your own, personalize it, let is become your identity. Express yourself in a healthy way that brings strength to not only you but the people around you. The joy that comes from finding and exploring something all your own pales in comparison to the joy it in turn can bring to others. Stay joyful, it's contagious. 

Baymax

"Hello. I am Baymax, your personal healthcare companion."

As soon as I saw this big "little" guy on the television screen I fell in love. This robot is genius. On top of that he's a robotic nurse. Being a nurse myself I became enamored with this guy. I found this when out this past weekend and I had to buy it without hesitation. This loveable robot wasn't just cute, he was just like me. Most nursing things are designed for women, from uniforms to books to gifts and everything in between. This guy was my little macho nurse. Adorable. I just couldn't let this guy go, this was too good of an opportunity to get a little joy and silliness from life. This guy I can take with me to work everyday, probably just in my head, as a reminder that even nurses can have a reason to smile. When out at work sometimes I think to myself, "Hello. I am Jeremy, your personal healthcare nurse. How can I help you?" I giggle inside and it makes it completely worth it. Stay silly in life and find motivation in the meaningless, then you won't be lost when it seems to be all you have left around you. 

It's All In the Little Traditions

Every family has their own traditions and beliefs. Each of us have our own traditions and beliefs. I grew up in a world where my parents taught my brother and I the importantance of tradition. It is what helps hold people together, what helps us hold ourselves together. The traditions and things we did when I was growing up have become endearing memories and part of my regular routine. Those memories are some of the most important and special memories I have. What is more, not only do I get that warm feeling inside but I also have the chance to relive that practice now and make new memories that will always be tied to the history behind them. For example, every year for Christmas we would go and pick out our own tree somewhere and cut it down ourselves. Every year no matter what we had a nice new tree. I still remember how it made the house smell, it is one of the reasons that to this day I love the smell of pine. While I may not have been able to keep that tradition up in my adult life, I mean living in California makes it a little difficult, I still have a tree every year decorated with the ornaments I had when I was a kid. Those are so important to me, they mean a lot. I have had them for so long, and will have them for much longer. They remind me of my parents and my brother and growing up and the love between all of us. This all came to mind over Valentine's Day because one of my favorite traditions occurs on Valentine's Day. Traditions and events don't have to be big to be important or meaningful. Even the smallest little things stick with us and we carry them in our hearts and minds for the rest of our lives. Anyway, every Valentine's Day morning my mom would put the red tablecloth down on the dining room table and make a big breakfast. When my brother and I came down to eat before school we would both be excited to see a card next to a little red heart-patterned plastic basket with with a tall thin white plastic handle. Inside the basket was always candy hearts, with messages of love and silliness. Our favorite candy was always there as well next to the card, but the best part of all was the wrapped present that was always waiting. For as long as I can remember my parents have gotten my brother and I a book for Valentine's Day. It could be something we wanted to read or something my mom found that she knew we would like or that would benefit us. It was silly and exciting. I began looking forward to the book each year, and of course my mom would always write something on the inside cover along with the date. I still have all the books I've gotten. Last year I got a Stephen King book that I can see right now sitting on the bookshelf next to "Where the Sidewalk Ends." This year, since I still have so many books to read and am currently reading one of my favorite books that my parents got me for Christmas, my mom sent me a Barnes & Noble gift card so that I could go pick out whichever book I wanted or get one on my new nook device. On the card she told me to send her a picture of the book or books I picked out. The card is inside the front cover of my book from last year, safely on the shelf and preserved in my memory. I used the gift card to buy two sequential Star Wars books from the nook online store, ones I can't wait to read. I know it sounds nerdy, but I love Star Wars. My brother and I both did growing up. In middle school I think the only books I read outside of class were Star Wars novels, every single one in the library. The memories, the memories. Now I can jump back in and escape to a place of awesome fun. The inner geek in me is jumping up and down cheering. I will of course always remember how I got those two new books and every time I look at the cover or read one of them it will remind me how much my parents love me and how much they have encouraged my brother and I to learn, achieve and better ourselves. What else could I ask for? Those books are little treasures I will never forget.
Something small an inconsequential, yes, but something small that brings me joy whenever I see or remember it. What's wrong with having a bunch of silly little traditions? Nothing. It just gives us more chances to remember and smile and reflect back while we look forward. Every year I do Valentine's cards for my friends or co-workers, the ones from the store with my favorite movie or cartoon character. No matter what, every year. I do it because I just love it, and I love being silly and having fun. I also do it because I want other people to see that I do value them and hopefully it will make at least one person smile and have a better day. What do you do for Valentine's Day? Anything special? Maybe you already do and you just don't realize it because you haven't put a label on it. Traditions can be good ways to remember those we've lost and those we miss. By carrying on the torch and making new memories in a salute to the past we keep the spirit of our loved ones alive. It gives us a way to show we love and remember and will continue to, a way to remind ourselves of just how important those around us really are.
I have so many little traditions it's crazy. I have the coffee cup that my mom gave me when I went to college. It is her "Friends" coffee mug that she used every day when I was growing up, I remember it so well. I have it out and I use it when I feel down or sad or I miss my mom and it helps cheer me up. What else is a photograph but a reminder of a past event we cherish in some way? Looking at a picture should bring us joy as we remember life, because even the bad things that have happened to all of us have shaped us into the people we are today. Even if one little event or accident had been different you wouldn't be the person you are, not that you can do anything about that anyway.
Traditions can be something you do yearly on a holiday or something you do every day when you get up and get ready for work in the morning. Things like the way I get dressed and in what order and the way I put my lunch together along with the overall routine of my morning schedule are all insignificant yet important things in my day that bring me comfort. That comfort gives me joy, it makes me feel better. Create a tradition today, make it a new habit you want to start or a goal you want to accomplish. Maybe you need to quit smoking and every day you abstain you get a whiskey on the rocks before bed (just kidding, your liver probably couldn't handle that) or maybe every day you go without yelling at anyone or getting angry you get to watch an episode of your favorite show on DVD before bed. There are so many things to come up with, limitless possibilities and all specific to each of us making these traditions a part of our identity and a way to boost ourselves up with no effort but remembering. Think about the different traditions or practices you have upheld in your life from childhood and remember where they came from and started. Those are the things that motivate us and keep us going. We are the ones responsible for moving ourselves forward in this world, we might as well give ourselves as much fuel as we can carry. 

Laughing

In the little basket I got from the girls at work for Valentine's Day there was a little stretch bracelet with the word "laugh." Of course I fell in love at once, but what really got me was when I got home and read the insert. The activity of laughing is the manifestation of joy. How perfect is that?! So the next time you need a little joy in your life make yourself laugh. Laugh at the stupid, silly little things. Why not? You stress about the dumb things so why not laugh whenever you can? Go ahead, laugh! I dare you! 

Valentine's Day: A Celebration of Joy & Love

Happy Valentine's Day! What an awesome day it is too. It's Saturday and the sun is shining bright outside. I think this is the first Valentine's Day I've spent in 85-degree weather. I'm not going to complain though! Today is a very special day, although many of us tend to look at it the wrong way and we miss the whole point altogether. What I mean is that we so often focus on our own losses or wallow in our own misery instead of celebrating the love being recognized today by all the world. There is more love than just the love we have for our partners or significant others. 

Ever since I was little I've wanted tattoos. I finally got up the courage when I was a freshman in college. For a long while I went back and forth trying to decide what to get. I would write on my wrist in permanent marker then change my mind and try again. I finally decided on the word "love." As soon as I thought it I knew it was the right one. It's like it just clicked, something felt right. Everything in my life is based on love; love is what drives me and love motivates my every action. When I call my mom in Tennessee on the phone and talk with her for fourty-five minutes it's because I love her. When I surprise my partner with his favorite movie and a pizza it's because I love him. When I take our little deer chihuahua Daenerys for long walks before bed it's because I love her. At work, when I surprise one of the girls with her favorite treat or a surprise gift it's because I love her. The love is not the same, but it is still love. Love to a different degree. Love is defined as an intense feeling of deep affection. Nowhere in there does it say sexual or physical. Yes that is one form of love, but it is just that, a single form. When I hold the door open for the woman behind me at the grocery store it's because I am spreading love and kindness. It makes me feel good and it helps spread joy and love, both of which are infectious. That simple gesture of kindness, when noticed, affects the person and even if they don't realize it they will be lifted up. You know that feeling when someone does something kind like open a door or pass you something without having to ask? That feeling is awesome. Why wouldn't we ouselves want to feel like that, why wouldn't we want to make others feel that way if we had some way to? Kindness is like wildfire, one little spark and everything goes up in flames. 

This Valentine's Day I decided to get candy, snacks and cards for all the Direct Care Staff at work as well as our resident clients. Just being able to do something nice and see someone smile made it worth it. Beyond that though, many other people started doing things for Valentine's at work. There was more candy, and chocolate, and flowers, cards, brownies, treats and plenty of hugs. One of the house managers told me I had started a chain reaction. I didn't even notice it, to me it was just something I liked doing because it was fun and nerdy and it gave me the chance to brighten someone else's day. It felt good to know I had started something and helped spread even more love throughout our homes. 

Our girls on the morning shift at one of the houses got together and surprised me on Friday with a basket full of goodies and toys and even a T-shirt. The card they got was so cute and so sweet. I was taken aback. They told me they were glad I was there because of all the nice things I was always doing for them and the guys. See, just by going out of my way, even when I had to continually push myself, to do something nice or extra for people they were in turn spreading the joy by doing things for others. We can inspire change in the world around us, we just truly must be that change we want to see before it has any hope of happening. 

It is hard to get lost in the hustle and bustle of media garbage telling us that unless we are with our perfect mate then we are worthless. If you don't get chocolate and flowers then no one loves you. Stupid. Most of these holidays I have spent alone. Not just figuratively, but physically too. Even when I went out with friends I always tended to sneak away home early and spend the rest of the night smoking, drinking and watching movies until I passed out. If I didn't have someone to hold me right now then I would numb my mind and body until it didn't need to be held. Not the most healthy way to deal with things, but we all have to grow up and learn our leasons. My point is, I know all too well what it feels like to feel lonely and abandoned. Just push on, things change. Not always when we want, but they do. And in order to make that happen we have to take an active role in our own lives. Focus on the good, the things you have all around you. Your family, your friends, your dog, your cat, your neighbor, your study budy and anyone else who makes you smile. When they make you smile it's because they love you, otherwise they wouldn't waste their time just to bring some joy to your face. When you next get a compliment remember not just that they were nice, but that they loved you. They cared enough to make you feel special. Find the special person or people in your life. Tell them today how much you love and need them. 

This morning I woke up early all stuffed up. I sat up for a while before making us coffee and putting on cartoons to gently ease my parter awake. After a late and lazy breakfast we went walking in Burbank and did a little shopping, mostly just getting coffee and having fun. When we got coffee he surprised me with the "pair of cake pops" that they had for Valentine's Day. So cute, these are the fun little things I value most. These are my favorite memories. Make your own memory today and find someone in your life that you appreciate, someone you wouldn't normally think to talk to, and tell them how much you love and appreciate them. It will make their day and I promise it will make yours too. 

Happy Valentine's Day. Spread the Love & Joy!