Joyful Jenny #5 - Your Happy Place

Well, it's Wednesday. The middle of the week. Which can also be one of the hardest days of the week. I am kind of freaking out right now. Later today, I am getting pulled out of school for an appointment with the doctor who is making my prosthetic eye, which is a good thing. But the appointments are so uncomfortable. It's weird. But anyway, I know that it'll all be worth it at the end. I'll have two eyes and they'll be the same color! That has always been my biggest insecurity. But either way, I am still terrified of the whole situation. You know what though? I shouldn't be. When things like this happen, it's best to stay calm. The more I think about it, the more I stress. So I just think about my happy place. My happy place contains music, friends, family, and a nice mellow setting to just relax and hang out. Your happy place is your escape. It can make you feel better in almost any situation. It can be anything. When I was younger, my happy place was a land made out of deserts. But it can change anytime. As long as it gives you that alright feeling, it's all good. This literally works with anyone. I remember when I would always get my shots, I take a deep breath and just think aboutmy happy place. I still do, actually. It might sound weird, but I actually enjoy getting shots now. I just think that having a mind full of good and happy thoughts can really help with a positive outlook in
life. I know that it helps me. Always! People sometimes ask me why I am so calm. It's probably because I was thinking about my happy place. Just don't let it distract you so much when you're doing something important for school or work. That's probably not a good idea. Haha.
Find your joy in a happy place. Whenever you are feeling stressed out, worried, or just really bad in any way... Think about your happy place. It will most definitely bring a smile to your face. That's another way to find some joy in your life. I'm sure many people do it. I do. You should give it a try. 

Joyful Jenny #3 - Stay Strong

I'm sure you've all heard the small saying, "Stay Strong." 

Well, those two little words mean something to everyone. But there's always a different story behind it. I just wanted to reflect on the passed two little passages I've written. Remember to not let anyone tell you who you are or what you can't do. Remember to always have someone by your side through the good and the bad. Now, take a moment and think about your life. Just think. 

I'm sure what you were thinking had to do with your past, am I right? It happens naturally. Let me dip in to a personal point of view. 

When I think about my life, I think about my past. A little more than I probably should, actually. But despite all the rough times, I remember that I have to stay strong. I've gone through a long series of ups and downs. When I was smaller, I was so outgoing and not afraid of anything. I would do things I wanted. Quietly, but I did it. I got into sports and loved to play soccer. My father wanted to put me on a soccer team. We found the perfect team. But they needed a doctors permission because of my visual impairment. So we asked my doctor. He said that I wasn't able to join any kind of contact sports. And that's where it all began... 

I was upset. Sports were my thing and I wanted it to always be that way. But my sporting dreams were crushed. I eventually replaced it with music. I turned to music because I was able to sing songs about how I feel. I got serious about my music and kept it going. I was having a great time just singing and writing lyrics. But then it all just...went downhill. I started to lose my vision. I became super sad. Really angry at myself, insecure, I felt worthless,  and I felt trapped. Later, i lost my beautiful grandma. May she rest in peace. 2012 was not my year. There were long nights of overthinking, crying, but hiding it all behind one simple and fake smile. I managed to pull through for the next three years. 

I noticed that the nights just got longer and longer. Overthinking got out of hand way too often. Crying was constant. And so I just fell... Faster than Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall. I was lost and scared. I thought it would always be that way. I got use to the pain. I was emotionally and mentally tired. But that's when I soon realized I need to stay strong. I need to keep fighting. I can't keep hurting myself. I can't do this. I can't do it for me or my family. And so now I'm a sixteen year old who has really low vision, restarted her life because of the vision loss,  but I am full of love, joy, and I have wonderful people along my side. Thanks to Mackenzee, my best friend, who has put up with me late at night when I'm overthinking. And my loving and supportive family that remains strong. And that helps me stay strong. 

So remember... Stay strong. You're a warrior. You may have been broken and bruised at one point. And you may have scars. But don't let those scars define you. If anything, your scars make you even more beautiful. They show how much a strong soldier you are. They show that you have managed to... Stay strong. Love, peace, and joy will help you through it. I promise.