Anger Is A Poison Of Our Own Creation

Lately I've started having a problem with anger issues again. While I do mean the anger directed outwards towards others, I mean more so the anger that we hold within - whether towards ourselves or regarding someone around us. Anger is like a poison that rots us from the inside out. While, for a time, it may fuel our thoughts and actions it is only an illusion that soon begins to destroy as it uses our own drive to fuel it's destruction. Anger tricks us into thinking that it comes from someone else's actions when in reality it comes from our own frustration at not getting things the way we wanted. An important note here is to remember that we are never always going to get the things that we want. We have to learn to accept and expect it. Only by going into life knowing that things may or may not go our way are we able to truly cope with the outcomes of our reality. Life isn't about always winning, it's about living.
After having to make some tough life choices and cut certain people out of my life lately I have been really upset. Upset that I had to do it to begin with, angry that they left me with no choice and frustrated that I couldn't stop thinking about it. Did I really make the right decision? Should I just have let this or let that slide? Should I have just turned a deaf ear and blind eye again? Why was I feeling guilty for standing up for something I believed in? It was driving me crazy, a slowly boiling kettle with no spout to let out steam. When I woke up it was one of the first things on my mind, and it plagued the background of my thoughts throughout the day. It took over, it became everything. A distraction I couldn't escape from. It was destroying me. I was letting it destory me, I was the one putting the fuel on the fire. 

If hate is the absence of joy then anger is the precursor to hate and therefore the warning flag that tells us when we are getting too close to the edge and need to back off. Anger is a human emotion, and we are all human. We will all get angry sometimes, the point where that anger becomes toxic is when it begins to cloud our judgement and dictate our actions. A life of joy is one that is not free of anger but instead not controlled by it. It's ok to feel that way about certain things, experiencing all parts of life is part of being alive, but unchecked anger serves only to eat away at our own joy and chance at a positive and meaningful life. It's like when you're walking at the park and there's that one tree that's just barely hanging on, or better yet just the stump that remains with the middle eaten and picked away at as the rot sets in. There's no doubt as to the reason why the tree is no longer standing, now it serves no other purpose than a shelter for weeds and grass to thrive. We can allow anger to eat away the core of our joyfulness and our selves or we can recognize its feeling and then push it to the side as only but a small fraction of our human response to any given situation. It is up to us whether or not we are poisoned by the monster of our own creation.