Voices of Joy

The farther along I get in this blog the more I contemplate what I want to do with it and how I want to use it to actually make a difference and make a change. Change starts with one individual, one voice among the many others. While I try to make my voice heard I also realize and embrace the fact that I am but one in a sea of voices. I try to find the Joy in my life, even when it takes all my strength, because it is what keeps me going. It is how I survive. I search out those things that bring me Joy and hold on to them. So hopefully do you, and everyone else reading this, and on and on. We all have our own individual Joy and our journey through life is made worth taking by the Joy that we find in life along the way. Living in the here and now is a hard thing, but the more we work on it, the more we focus on it and just kind of let go and try the better off we are. This blog is about my pursuit of my Joy and sharing it with you all in the hopes that I can inspire someone to find the Joy in their own life.

But I also want it to be about other voices, other points of view. There is more than just one kind of person in the world and an infinite number of perspectives people can have. We are all ourselves with our own unique story, vision and wisdom. Each of us has been through a unique set of experiences in life and the more we can learn from our Joy and share it with others the more we can help them through similar situations or just in general. Our individualism is what makes us amazing, what make us unique. Like the lines in the bark of a tree, not one ever the same. For the tree itself and for the tree as a whole. Each tree is unique and as well the pattern is never repeated within the tree. The tree and bark adapt as they grow and things happen. We are like trees in that way, we are unique and yet connected and interwoven into the world around us, above ground where it is easy to see and ten times more so underground where we lie down our roots. While being the tree, we are also each like a small piece or part of that unique natural pattern. Up close things look disconnected and chaotic, but from far away, when perspective changes, the beautiful tapestry of that towering tree that is at least decades old becomes clear.

I have decided to include three other voices on the blog on a weekly basis to help show other people's Joy and what it means to him or her. Joy comes from the smallest things in life and this can help us see that and see the simple Joy in our own lives. The first woman, with her southern wit and charm, is Ms. Tami F. We are going to have Tami Tuesday's and get updates on Tami and her Joy and learn through her experiences. Jenny, a tough & growing young LA woman, will be coming to us one day of the week as well - probably Wednesday. That leaves the last and final new voice, Jerry J - retired from the army, civil & public service, telecommunications and so much more - will be coming to us on Thursdays to help lead us into the end of the week and the weekend. I wanted to bring on these three voices to help show the diversity of Joy and how, yet, it can still bring it all together. We can learn from each other and grow together and be Joyful together. I am really excited and can't wait to see what everyone has to say! We can make it along the way focusing on the pursuit of our own Joy, the secret though is sharing it and accepting it from others. That's what makes it mean more and makes it stay with you.

Springtime, Making Room For Fresh Growth

It's that time of year again, spring is here. It seems as if spring ended only a few weeks ago. Time flies as life goes on, I always heard but never believed that. Until I grew up. But it is now time to brush off the cobwebs, stand up, stretch your muscles and get back to life. As time changes it pushes us into longer days and warmer nights. Buds start to appear on the trees and slowly grow until flowering open a few weeks later. The street is lined with tall pines and eucalyptus trees and so many more types that I can't even name that over the last few weeks I've gotten to watch the trees come back to life and flower right before my very eyes. The sea of green is littered with flowers of every color, all gently waving in the wind. It's always so amazing to watch what seems like a dead tree slowly bring itself back to life and fill out with color.

It's the perfect time to evaluate yourself and where you're at and what you're doing. It must be something in the air, in the warm afternoon breeze that feels so good. The fresh smell lingering in the air is so refreshing. Everyone does spring cleaning of their closets and clothing, but what about our lives? Isn't that more important anyway? All of us have our dark corners filled with secrets, pain and memories. Everyone carries anxiety, doubt and fear with them, slowly letting it build up and shade your view of the world around you today. There is no need to carry all of that excess baggage with you through life. Those things that have hurt you in the past can now only hurt you if you give them permission. Clean out your closets and make room for something else. The more you allow to build up the more you weigh yourself down with unnecessary stress and worry. Don't let yourself be weighed down with this burden. You don't have to open up to someone else, but you have to at least be honest with yourself. We all owe that to ourselves.
I love springtime because everywhere you look it's like the whole world is fresh and clean. Like a breath of fresh air after the stale winter air you learn to grow accustomed to. Of course we aren't the only ones who get going when the warm weather moves in. The animal world starts to buzz and swarm, coming to life all around us. Whether it's the squirrels playing around the trees or the return of the opossum who used to visit every night we can find comfort in the living and thriving world around us. Nature is harsh and cruel and if the tiny clovers in the field next to the dam and the sprouting palm trees in the cracks of the sidewalk can thrive through such dangerous obstacles then we should be able to weather anything. After all, most of us have food to eat and somewhere to sleep, and if you're reading this then some electronic device of some kind. We are so lucky. There are so many people in the world who have no idea what a cell phone is or how one works. Remembering that, we can be grateful for the things we enjoy each and every day. It reminds me of the beetle I saw the other day when we were hiking. The sun was bright and warm and the ground held the heat well. In the path the beetle was digging away trying to either find something or make himself a nest. For a minute or two I just stood there and watched it, going at it like no one else was there. He was so determined, so driven. There was one task he had to do and he was doing just that. I almost envied him, the dedication to keep going through the heat and being tired. He was in danger though, as everything is in nature; except that his world was full of much more death and ways to accomplish such. He was working so hard like that because he knows that at any moment a bird can land right next to him, a dog run by and catch a glance, a rock might crumble and fall as it's crossing the dam or someone walking by could accidentally step on it without even knowing it were there. How depressing. But then again isn't the same true for us? There are an infinite number of things out there that can harm and kill us, we are pretty much always vulnerable to something. That's life. That's the world we live in. But to see it on such a scale made me pause. Looking down I saw how small that little beetle was; I saw how small his problem was compared to the expanse of trees and bushes in every direction. To him it looked so urgent, so consuming. In reality the world lived on a much grander scale. Looking down I felt like that little bug was all these things I've been stressing about and worrying over. I haven't been able to see the forest through the trees as it were. Letting go of all these little things that I have no control over and aren't worth my time anyway is the one thing that will free me enough to see the bigger picture and realize I am a lot more joyful than I first thought. After stopping my partner from stepping on it I headed out with him down the path, leaving my little friend to his worries and letting him slip from my mind. If only I could do that with everything else on my mind. That's the point though, to try and do just that. 

The other day my partner decided to take little Miss Stormborn on a walk just as I was leaving for work. I decided to take a few minutes and go with them. What better way to start off the day? Turning one of the corners he stopped and bent over to pick something up off the sidewalk. He showed me four of the smallest little flowers that had all fallen from the tree overhead. They were so small and delicate but also beautiful and wonderous. What's more, there were hundreds of them all over the sidewalk. As I was sitting in my truck getting ready to head out he leaned in the open window and placed the four of them on the dashboard for my drive. It made me grin so big. Driving to work, every time I looked down, I couldn't help but smile again. It served as a good reminder to me to not take things too seriously and to stop and take the time to not just smell but see the flowers. Something much easier said than done. Something I still need to be constantly reminded of. It worked, he made me smile and helped me start my day with hope and love and laughter instead of anxiety, dread or fear. The world is growing around us and we can build off of its growth ourselves if we take the time to just look. Growing means changing and changing means learning new ways to look at the world. Look at the world you have built around you. Do you like what you see? Are you thriving in your environment? Are you taking advantage of every opportunity available to you? Or do we all just kick it like a bug in a dirt pile and get so lost in the stress we create for ouselves that we lose sight of what's really real and beautiful, love and hope and courage and strength? Don't give up, keep going and pursue the path of joy. Well it's really more just the path in life that you choose lined with joy instead of hate. More than control over your life, you have control over yourself. So do something. Spring is here and the sun is shining. Time to grow. 

Cutting Out the Rot

Most of the biggest hindrances in our journey towards being joyful stem from within. The biggest thing holding us back in life is our own stubbornness. We have to open our eyes and be able to tell the difference between the healthy and the rotten, the good and the bad. That bad will always be there, but by focusing on the healthy growth and doing something to cut out the source of the festering rot you can not only heal yourself but protect against future attacks as well. It is important that whenever anything happens to us we take the time to process it and really get something out of it, otherwise what's the point. After all, aren't we nothing but the sum of all of our experiences and potential? I believe we are. You must accept everything, not get over it or even forgive necessarily, but you must accept it because it has already happened and there is nothing you can do to change that. All you can do is react, and that reaction is up to you. By accepting something you take away the power it has over you and by then moving forward and adapting you take power over it and take control of your life back into your own hands. What this is boiling down to is that there are sometimes bad things in our life, rot in the tree, that must be removed in order for the healthy tree to continue not just growing but thriving. Sometimes it can be hard and most of the time painful, but it is necessary and essential to surviving and living not just a productive but a joyous life. Sometimes we can't even see for ourselves the toxic infestations in our life, that's why we have people we love surrounding us. So that they can be there for us even when our ugly wounds and scars are standing right in front of their faces for all to see. Sometimes we feel sorry for whatever is causing the rot and we make excuses for it and try to protect it out of some sense of duty. In the process we start to poison and kill ourselves. Festering rot may plateau and lie dormant for a time, but it always comes back to take more and grow even larger. It is unforgiving and all consuming no matter what promises it makes or how it temporarily makes you feel. We must be alert for these poisons, these parasites. When something is causing us fear, pain, anxiety or anguish we must look at where it is coming from and seek to either adapt or cut out the disease before it gets any larger. This is easier said than done, but it is something that we all must do. Walking the dog the other day with my partner we walked past a tree that had, over the past few months started developing odd growths and bumps. Now there was a spot where sap had been spilling from the tree and the wood underneath was black with rot. It was odd seeing it all happen over the course of a few weeks every time we took the dog for a walk. You never really think of trees as having diseases or parasites. Of course, what is a termite except that very thing?
It got me to thinking, trees live much longer than we do and can be far more resilient. But if they can be taken down by an internal rotting darkness then what does that say of us? Are we doomed before we even start? No, because we are humans and we are much more flexible and adaptable than a tree. That is our strength. We have the opportunity to recognize these diseases and do something about them. I was cleaning and sorting through things today and I came across some old letters and cards given to me by co-workers at my last job. I left my last job because I didn't feel ethically right staying there and I wanted to make a real difference somewhere else. I remember what I learned from there but thinking back about heart-twisting memories isn't necessary. I didn't even hesitate, I threw them away and kept going. No need to keep something that will only remind me of things that I don't want to remember. The memory will always be there, that's enough. Don't be afraid to let go of the painful past. Take what you have learned, heal and move forward with life. Sometimes we have to cut people out of our lives who have a negative influence on us; sometimes for a few months and sometimes for a lifetime. It all depends on the influence and how deep their rot runs. My best friend of now ten years, who is currently in the hospital ICU, and I are closer than brothers but there was a time where I cut him completely out of my life. I blocked his number, blocked his Facebook and on and on. I may not have handled it the right way but I could see him destroying himself again no matter what I said and I couldn't handle having to go along with it anymore or having to watch him slide back into dangerous black waters once more. I had enough other stresses in my life, I couldn't handle any more. It was a very hard decision and one that I did not come to lightly. It hurt for a while, but the entire time I knew that I had done the right thing for me. A few months later I reached back out to him and he was there reaching back. We talked for a long time and I explained why  I left and he understood. He knew it was because I loved him and his suffering was tearing me down and poisoning me. We have always been there for each other, and he knew I always would be even if we weren't in touch, and will be there for each other and support each other from now until forever. But I had to do what was necessary, and he understood that.
I'm not saying cut ties with everyone or do something drastic, just evaluate your life and your friends and your commitments and the whole structure of your daily activities. Take a look and see what things are really causing the rot to spread. Where is it really coming from? What can you do about it? Do you want to do anything about it? Are you? I love nature and I love going for daily walks even in the neighborhood just to see the trees and flowers and green grass. I've always been fascinated by the bark of a tree. A healthy tree has good strong bark that can sometimes appear to almost be cracked and breaking from the outside. It appears as if the tree is crumbling apart, but it's not. It's the tree growing, pushing, against the outer restraints of it's boundary. Forcing it's way in, growth takes hold and expands more and more, cracking the other shell and constantly making a new one as the inner circles of the tree are replenished and strengthened from the roots deep below. Those cracks in the bark aren't signs of weakness but signs of healthy growth and thriving life. Life doesn't always look perfect from the outside or even to others no matter how close they think they may be. Life is messy and it never turns out the way we want. Don't mistake those cracks for breaks. Don't let yourself be fooled into thinking that because of your experiences you are somehow damaged or broken. You are stronger, you are you. You are who you are. When you look in that mirror, see those aging creases for what they are, the shredding of the old for the dawning of the new, and cut off the source of that poison you see and feel before it consumes you. You are in control, if only you'll realize it. Stop, do something about it. Be Joyful.