Joy Is Having Something All Your Own

We all need something to call our own. Something to use to define who we are and give us an identity. Of course there are so many things that make us up, so many different combinations of emotions and experience. What I am referring to though  is having a hobby, an activity, some interest that you can learn, develop and grow with. Each of us has our own individual strengths and weaknesses. We use these strengths combined with hard work and dedication to get to the places we want in our career. What we often forget is that those same strengths were granted to us, passed down and inherited through our genetic material, for the betterment of ourselves in pleasurable ways that are the source of our joy in this world. For example, the medical transcriptionist or journalist who spends his or her time posting online news articles on assignment are both talented and gifted when it comes to the written word. That talent will be with them throughout life and the more it is developed the more joy they will experience. Yet, the joy that comes from writing should also help define them personally whether through journal writing, an online blog, a book draft, a manuscript, anything. We all want to be good at something, we want to feel completed by our latest project or praised by our friends for the effort made; we want to feel the joy and satisfaction that comes with feeling like we have lived up to our potential. That comes when we take what we have and actually use it.
It took me a long time to really find something I could get into. Growing up I played soccer for six years when I was really little and baseball for a year before realizing in middle school that sports just really weren't for me. I always felt bad because I wanted to belong somewhere, feel like I was good at something and could be proud of it. Of course I had school, which I excelled in with ease, but that wasn't the same because it wasn't really directly for me. I was on the varsity debate team in high school and college, even qualifying for state with persuasive speaking, but after school there wasn't really much else I could do with that. So much of my time is spent on my phone and laptop playing games or messing around online wasting time. Here recently, having finally landed in the job of my dreams, I started feeling anxious and restless. I loved being at work, especially being on salary now, and I had so much fun at home with my love and our little puppy. I still felt like something was missing. Something for me. When I was at home I was always on the edge of my seat or the bed just waiting for something to really sink my teeth into. Something to let me forget about the world around me and feel pure bliss. These are the moments of joy we spend our lifetime searching for.

The right idea has to come along at the right time and an explosion will happen so bright and so forceful that you will feel its ramifications all throughout your life. You have to be searching though, vigilant in your pursuit and search, or else the opportunity will pass you by without a second glance. For years, most of my life really, I've kept some sort of journal on and off. The feeling in my chest after I finish writing, I can't explain the weight lifted and the pressure relieved. It's helped me get through a lot in my life. It's funny to go back and read the things I wrote years ago. I would write some short stories or poems here and there, nothing too substantial. Over the years I had so many ideas for books or stories that ended in a fizzle instead of a bang. So many beginnings, and so little follow through. Nothing just ever felt right enough to go back and finish. My partner had made some suggestions and encouraged me the best he could. Still, nothing caught my attention. One day, in passing, one of the administrators that works with me told me I should start a blog online. Something I could do every day but wouldn't really take any effort because it was already what I enjoyed and wanted to do anyway. Something sparked and for a few days brooded, adding ember to the flames. I finally gave in and just got on my laptop and started the process. It was actually quite easy and fun. The name and topic took me so long to decide on, and yet at the same time as soon as it popped into my head I was sure. It felt right, like a final puzzle piece falling into place. Once I started it took off in my mind and came as naturally and reflexively as my daily routine. It became a way for me to vent my thoughts and feelings in a positive way that just might help someone else too. I had finally found something that made me feel truly good about myself. When I fall asleep now I know I have done at least one thing on my own today to better the world around me in the best way I can. 

Most of us know our strengths, for those who don't keep on looking. Sometimes it takes a million mistakes to finally step back and see nothing worked because you already had the answer all along. I have been there, for the good and the bad. I don't know how long this will last, but I know that as long as I keep going I am not only having fun but making myself look more positively at the world around me. Helping others is the added bonus. Today I finished making the new logo and it feels so awesome, I am so excited. It's me in every way and every symbol and detail is an expression of who I am. Now it will represent my work and myself, how perfect. Aren't they one in the same anyway - to me they are. Use your strengths for yourself, give yourself something that is all your own. Something that brings you joy, even the silliest and craziest things can help influence the world around you in positive ways. Find something, something you like, something you love. Make it your own, personalize it, let is become your identity. Express yourself in a healthy way that brings strength to not only you but the people around you. The joy that comes from finding and exploring something all your own pales in comparison to the joy it in turn can bring to others. Stay joyful, it's contagious.